Sarwat Chadda's Blog

Sarwat's Guide to the Gods Part One- KALI

2012-01-29T18:41:00.003Z

The Black One. Goddess of death and destruction. She haunts the graveyards and dances in the ashes of the funereal pyres.
Appearance
Black-skinned and almost skeletal gaunt. She has blazing eyes, a long red tongue (all the better to lap up blood with) fangs and claws. Kali has six arms and carries weapons, a noose and the severed head of a demon. She wears a necklace of skulls and her skirt is made of severed limbs. You do not want to bump into her in an alley on a dark night.
What You Need to Know
Kali is mad, bad and oh so very dangerous to know. She is the demon killer and there are plenty of stories of all the other gods fleeing the battle-field and leaving Kali to kill absolutely everyone. Then she usually eats them. He victory dance once threatened to destroy the universe.
Her hideous appearance is all part of her charm. She is the one thing that terrifies demons so she is also the last hope for humanity. When all else has failed, you turn to Kali. But be careful, she’s as likely to destroy the world as save it.
STRENGTHS all the arts of death
WEAKNESSES completely lacking in social skills
WEAPONS all of them
ATTITUDE totally bad
RELATIONSHIPS Married to Shiva. Often depicted dancing on his corpse. Nice.
If you like Kali you’ll also like: Wearing black, jewellery made from bones, goth music.
Other Goddesses like Kali : Baba Yaga (Russian), Hecate (Greek), Morrigan (Celtic), Hel (Norse)

Badass of the Year

2012-01-04T00:53:00.002Z

There were many cinematic delights in 2011. Following up from my last blog on Alpha Males heading your way in 2012 I feel the need, nay, the duty, to expand on this list, and diversify. It's not exclusively male, as any follower of my blog will know, BADASS embraces all creeds, sexes and nationalities.
So, my review of what was BADASS in 2011.
1. Hanna. Young girl skilled in all the arts of death by a psycho father. I'm not so sure that Tom Holland with a bad dye job was exactly the sort of elite assassin I'd send against Eric Bana since, lets be honest, he looked like he'd struggle up a flight of stairs while Eric Bana apparently swam the Atlantic ocean but if Billi had a sister by another mister, it would be Hanna. And we LOVE the soundtrack. Those Chemical Brothers do get around (and seem to follow Tom Holland, being in the latest Tron too. Not good.).
2. Ryan Gosling in the Driver. Ryan seems to have become a fan-girl fav of late and with those abs, why not? Have we already wearied of Taylor Lautner's wash-board stomach already? How fickle is the teen girl devotions! But deep down you know Ryan would kick Jacob's arse, don't you? Then he'd drive over him. Road-kill.
3. Conan the Barbarian. Okay, I admit it, the new movie sucked BUT it was Conan and it's a brave man who follows in the sandalled footsteps of Arnie. So, kudos to Jason Momoa for giving us brooding muscle-bound barbarian when it mattered.
4. Peter Mensah as Oenemaus out of the Spartacus series. The elegance, the wounded honour, the physique on the man who's so nearing fifty! I'm going to the gym first thing next week! Spartacus Blood and Sand and the prequel Gods of the Arena have been my guilty pleasure this year. Oh how it rocked. If my Latin lessons had been half as good as this I'd be teaching it at Oxford by now. Certainly not suitable for kids. Or nuns. Well, maybe nuns.
5. Michael Fassbender. As Magneto in X-Men First Class and in Centurion. This guy is BADASS. C'mon, that scene in the Argentinian bar? Yes, I completely agree it was a screen test for Bond. The mind salivates at the idea. Then him running bare-chested through the Hibernian snows in Centurion. It looked bloody freezing and it was (see the extras on the dvd). The man's dedicated and ripped like nothing on earth. Another reason to take up Latin, methinks.

Predictions for 2012. The return of the Alpha Male.

2011-12-19T09:40:00.005Z

There's always a reason for Daniel in those blue trunks. So, that's 2011 more or less wrapped up. Phew! What a year, eh? Revolutions throughout the arab world with dictators toppling like dominoes, the EU of the verge of meltdown, the royal wedding, the UK in riot mode and Minx winning X-Factor.

Where will it all end?

No idea, but I know I'll be spending a lot of it in the company of alpha males. And so will you.

After years of the metrosexual, of the 'new-age caring sharing happy to change nappies and cries at girly-flicks' type of man-boy, I smell testosterone in the air. Times, they are a-changin'.

Of course, we'll always have Bond, the very paragon of alpha-ness, but look at Driver. Ryan Gosling is rapidly becoming a fan-girl fav, but why? He's an alpha. Hardly speaks, certainly doesn't share his emotions, handy with his hands and ruthlessly brutal, and a loner. These are not qualifications for a long term relationship!

But, my oh my, we do love him. Pwerhaps in a confusing world we all hanker for someone to come along and 'sort s**t out' with his bare hands. Simple and direct. Perhaps we're weary of negotiating, trying to do the right thing, taking charge for our own destinies.

For me, the defining alpha moment was watching the opening scene of Dr. No, when Sean Connery says the immortal 'Bond...James Bond' with an almost sneer as he lights up. Now, Sean was 28 at that time but frankly, so manly he was prehistoric. It was as if billions of years of what it is to be a man had been purified down to that defining moment, that casino and those words. Come on, you still get a little thrill when he does it, don't you?

What defines an alpha male? On the most simple level, who would you like on your side in a fight? That's the ultimate role of the alpha, to protect the group, society, pack. He accepts his role as a warrior and has no real qualms about it. He doesn't do angst.

Sex appeal. His mere presence make the other males cower and the females blush. Again, this is his function, to have many strong sons to further protect the group down the generations. Chaste he is not.

A certain elequence. He says what he means and means what he says.

He is the ultimate male-wish fulfillment fantasy, as simple as that. Since the moment one big hairy ape with good hair swung down and thwacked the tiger on the head and saved the female ape in distress and the other male apes sat around thinking 'I wish I'd been ape enough to do that'. Always was, always will be. So, my list of alpha males for 2012:

1. Daniel Craig. The new Bond movie. 'Nuff said. They say it often, but they mean it here, the best Bond since Connery. Please oh please let the next movie be like Casino Royale and not Quantum of Solace.

2. Sean Bean. Ned Stark. I know it came out this year but I still haven't seen it and this is my blog. Sean's been great for years and years and years and age has only man him more so.

3. Jon Hamm. The new series of Mad Men. Certainly at the front of the queue when God handed out 'ridiculously good-lookin''.

4. Christian Bale. He will lead the superhero brigade which is frankly gigantic in the year of Avengers. Honourable mentions to Robert Downey Junior, Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth.

5. Karl Urban as Judge Dredd. Karl is usually the best thing in whatever he does (Priest, anyone?) and he won't be taking off the helmet. Respect to the Law!

This blog is NOT about religion. It's about Marmite. Honestly.

2011-12-14T10:18:00.002Z

Alas, I couldn't find an image of a bottle of Marmite ANYWHERE, so, completely BY RANDOM, I found this action-packed image by one of my favourite comic heroes, Frank Miller. I've NO IDEA what it is about, but I'm sure it's an intelligent, thoughtful and non-bigotted and even-handed debate about the so-called 'clash of civilization' we've been hearing so much about since, oh, September 2001.
But I'm here today to talk about Marmite. For those of you who don't know what it is, I can't be bothered to explain it to you, because explaining and understanding takes too long and is hard, but all you need to know is it's VILE and I HATE it.
Okay, if you must know, its a vegetable yeast extract. Vegetarians love it. Now I'm not prejudiced against vegetarians, and some of my best friends are vegetarians, but, I just want to say do you know who else was a vegetarian?
Adolf Hitler.
Just sayin'.
But this is not a rant about vegetarians, it's a rant about Marmite.
But millions of people in the world love Marmite. They have it as their favourite thing EVAH. They have it in the morning, the moment they get up. They snack on it during the day and even at night. My gosh, like FIVE times a day, easy. You kind of wonder what else they can be doing with their lives, wasting so much of it on Marmite.
I don't know who invented it, maybe some guy out in the middle of the desert because that's where all the crazy ideas come from, don't you agree? Anyway, it gets invented. I bet even his wife thought it a bit odd, but she came on board and soon there were a handful of other Marmaite lovers.
Now, can you believe it, it's GLOBAL.
How can so many people be so INSANE? Marmite is disgusting! It's been banned in some countries, but that just drives it underground (I myslef, so my shame, have smuggled in pots for friends abroad who've been converted to the stuff, but because I love them, I do it). Governments are waking up to the evil of Marmite, but I don't think it's a war that can ever be one. If only there was a way of recognising Marmite lovers, then it might be easier. You know, we could get them to wear special badges, or round them up and get them to live in certain areas so we could keep an eye on them and make sure they don't spread their vile Marmite love. Surely we have a duty to protect our children from Marmite?
I say this as a concerned parent who, sadly, has lost his own two young ones to Marmite. I married a Marmite lover. I admit it. I thought she would keep her Marmite love to herself, but she INDOCTRINATED them into loving Marmite when they were very small and impressionable. How evil is that, feeding Marmite to defenceless babies! Now, it's too late. But, it made me realise, that Marmite lovers aren't that different from me, afterall. I know my kids, they're just like everyone elses kids (though by far more talented and pretty and all that and they sure tidy their rooms in the morning. Not.).
It's made me realise that I shouldn't fear Marmite. It's out there. It appeals to millions. Some good, some bad. It's certianly not to everyone's taste, but then what is?

Well, that was an adventure!

2011-11-29T18:48:00.007Z

Just back from a trip to Pakistan, the ancient family homeland, and had a jolly fine time. It's amazing the bargains you can find in the local bazaars near the Afghan border.

It's been a long, long time since I was last there, 24 years in fact. It was an emotional trip in more ways than one.

Firstly, catching up with a vastly extended family. I met cousins who, back in 1987, where newly married with babes in their arms. Now, those babies have their own babes in their arms. Time has marked on and when I was the teen youngest, now I'm the aged uncle. A generation has come and gone and it stared me starkly as I saw once vigourous men now old, and how their sons had become their fathers.

Pakistan is both terribly ancient and terribly new. As a country, it's just over 50 years old, but as a culture, it's one of the oldest in the world.

As some of you may know, Ash Mistry is based, inspired by, the great ancient Harappan civilization. This existed over 5,000 years ago, and the city of Harappa is in Pakistan itself. I visited the site and will report on that seperately. But there's something profoundly moving about walking streets that were teeming with people and had merchants and products from all over the civilized world of Mesopotamia and Sumer and Old Kingdom Eygpt when Rome didn't even exist and the Trojan War hadn't yet been fought. We're talking about way way back, back when myth and history were one of the same.

Then, there is the current Pakistan, with all the bad press attached. It's (sort of) the basis on my new project. I've my hands full with Ash Mistry but think it's high time I wrote something straight, adult and historical. No magic, no vampires, but lots of intense action and my version of the game of thrones, back when Britain was playing it in the Indian Subcontinent. It forged the modern world, for better or worse, and much (but certainly not all) of the trouble we have over there now is merely a modern replay of the trouble we've always had over there. If more politicans were historians instead of lawyers, we might not be in the shambles were are right now. Lets put it this way, even Alexander the Great couldn't get out of Afghanistan quickly enough.

News on the Devil's Kiss tv series

2011-11-17T10:03:00.004Z

I often wonder if there is only a certain amount of luck in the world. I do believe there are different types of luck. One type is the old 'the more I practice the luckier I get' type, which is the only luck you can control. Then there's the 'OMG, look, someone's dropped a walletful of CASH. Dinner's on me!' which is the right place at the right time sort of luck. Then there's 'the stars aligning, the sheer forces of the cosmos coming to your aid ably assisted by quite a few battalions of archangels' type of luck. Basically the sort of luck which, in an ordered universe, really shouldn't be allowed.
So, it was in that order of things I received this email yesterday.

Gaumont embraces Devil's Kiss

Gaumont International Television (GIT), the new Los Angeles-based scripted TV arm of the French movie studio, has teamed up with The Walking Dead's exec producer Gale Anne Hurd for its latest project.
GIT, which launched in September under former NBC Entertainment executive VP of drama programming Katie O'Connell, has acquired rights to Devil's Kiss, a series of young adult novels by Sarwat Chadda from the UK.
Hurd will exec-produce a miniseries based on the books, together with Stephen Gallagher (The Eleventh Hour), who will pen the adaptation.
Devil's Kiss tells the story of a modern teenage girl raised by her father to become a member of an ancient order of knights, drawing on the mythology of the Knights Templar and the Crusades. Beatrice Springborn, who joined Hurd's Valhalla Entertainment as executive VP of production and development last year, picked up the project. The books and TV series will appeal to fans of Twilight and True Blood, according to GIT CEO O'Connell.
"We wanted to work with the incredible Gale Ann Hurd and were so happy that she presented us this novel. We read it and fell in love with the story's scope and emotional resonance," said O'Connell. "I had worked with Stephen Gallagher in the past and he had such a fresh and wonderful take on how to transition this to a television show."
GIT, which brought former Power executive Erik Pack onboard to head international sales and coproductions, will be pitching Devil's Kiss to broadcasters in the UK in the coming weeks.
Hurd (Terminator, Aliens), who is also currently developing a series based on the novels of former UK MP Jeffrey Archer - as reported by C21 recently - said of her latest project: "I couldn't be more excited to work with the Gaumont team on Devil's Kiss. We share the same vision for Sarwat Chadda's books. Bili, the central character, is a unique heroine, and her epic adventures make her ideal for a television series."
Devil's Kiss will be the third project that GIT has put into development after announcing its arrival on the scene ahead of Mipcom, where it debuted Hannibal, a one-hour drama based on Thomas Harris's Dr Hannibal Lector novels, which was picked up by NBC earlier this months.
Also in the works at GIT is Madame Tussaud, a six-hour miniseries about the famous artist and business woman who survived the French Revolution. Michael Hirst (The Tudors) will executive-produce with Alan Gasmer and Sherry Marsh.

I mean, HOLEY MOLEY, right? It's still got a few hurdles (and big ones) to jump before we have Billi on the screen but, sheesh, I never, ever thought it would get this far. Remember, I thought we'd be lucky to be able to buy a new carpet with my first book deal (which we did too, very nice, from John Lewis but, blimey, it was a chore and a half to get it fitted).
So, there are MANY people who have moved heaven and earth to get the celestial bodies in the right place to make this happen. I mean Sarah Davies (of course), Jerry Kalajian, Gale Anne Hurd (big fan-boy moment when I met her!), Beatrice Springborn and the GIT crew. You're all invited around mine for Christmas lunch. We're having the traditional Murgh Mussallam.

Guest review from my mate Cameron!

2011-11-14T19:57:00.003Z

Dune. Arrakis. Desert world. Either these terms will rock your very existence or you're sitting there going 'was that the movie with Sting is silver-winged underpants?'

Well, yes it was.

I'm one of those who wished he knew the weirding way, that his eyes were blue in blue and, god-damnit, wanted to be a Fremen.

But... some time ago I got into a twitter chat with LdySkyfire and recommended she read Dune, and watch the movie. The review below is teh result. Just for fun, folks!

Cameron’s Review of Dune by Frank Herbert
From the Blog Whatthecatread.wordpress.com

Book description by Goodreads

This Hugo & Nebula Award winner tells a sweeping tale of the desert planet Arrakis, the focus of an intricate power struggle in a byzantine interstellar empire. Arrakis is the sole source of Melange, "spice of spices". Melange is necessary for interstellar travel & grants psi powers & longevity. Whoever controls it wields great influence. Troubles begin when stewardship of Arrakis is transferred by the Emperor from the Harkonnen Noble House to House Atreides. The Harkonnens don't want to give up their privilege. Thru sabotage & treachery they cast young Duke Paul Atreides out into the planet's harsh environment to die. There he joins the Fremen, a desert dwelling tribe, the basis of the army with which he reclaims what's rightfully his. Paul is more than just a usurped duke. He might be the end product of a long-term genetic experiment to breed a superhuman. He might be a messiah. His struggle is at the center of a nexus of powerful people & events. Repercussions will be felt throughout the Imperium.

Review

I will be honest; I’ve known about this book’s existence for years, but never had any interest in reading it. In fact, I have gone out of my way not to read it because I’m generally not a big fan of straight science fiction. However, when author Sarwat Chadda told me in a tongue in cheek way to read this book else our friendship would be in jeopardy, I decided to give it a try. Generally when I get a challenge like that, I follow through on it.

So what were my thoughts on this book upon finishing it? Well it was an interesting read. While I liked various parts of it, other parts were just boring. And yes, perhaps my dislike of straight science fiction clouded my feelings and made it impossible to read with an unbiased eye, but in the long run, the book just simply didn’t do much for me.

The ideas behind the Bene Gesserit teachings and the Fremen way of life I found immensely intriguing. The Litany against Fear especially caught my eye and left me thinking. In truth it was the thoughtful, intellectual moments in the book that were the most enjoyable for me. Herbert poses some truly deep philosophical ideas within this novel and those ideas held my interest far more than the actual plot of the story. Try as I might, I just didn’t care what happened to the characters or the power struggle between political houses. And once Paul became the “messiah”, I lost what little respect I felt towards him.

At the same time, I struggled with Herbert’s writing style. To me it was dry and extremely confusing. The general pacing of events took far to long and often times I found myself wanting to scream, “Get on with it already!” Not that that would have done much good. In fact, by the time I finished with the story itself, I chose to completely skip the appendices and glossary. Plus, the inner monologues just killed me. Almost all of Herbert’s characters engage in inner contemplation to the point where it was overkill.

Yes, Herbert created a world that truly was unique, however the actual story just didn’t work for me. I’ve heard that it has been compared to Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy, but if I had to choose between the two, I’d go with Tolkien long before I’d ever choose Herbert.

Cameron’s Review of Dune (1984 Movie) directed by David Lynch
From the Blog Whatthecatread.wordpress.com

Thank heaven’s I listened to the folks who told me to read the book before I watched this movie. Had I gone the other way around, I fear I would have been completely lost. Never in my life have I seen a movie more disjointed in its telling then this one. It felt like there were no transitions between major events, and the few transitions that were there were flat and poorly explained.

The use of the inner monologues, which run throughout the novel, were poorly dubbed and did little to enhance the plot. And the portrayal of the Harkonnen Baron was disturbing to say the least. In truth, the first time he appears in the movie, I had to fight the overwhelming desire to turn the TV off. True, the actual character in the book is not entirely mentally stable, but to physically see that instability depicted in a movie is just beyond creepy. At least with Sting’s character it was more a matter of physical appearance then actions. Sting has a truly wonderful psychotic facial expression through the movie.

For a movie that was produced in 1984, the special effects were well done. Nowadays most folks would consider the quality of the effects cheesy, but the depiction of the shield-filters worked well with what I had envisioned them to look like when I read the book. I will admit that the space creature who was responsible for folding time and space made absolutely no sense to me. I couldn’t figure out what it was suppose to be and at this point, I don’t think I want anyone to try and explain it because it will more than likely just make my brain hurt.

The best bit of casting, besides Sting as the deranged Feyd-Rautha, was Patrick Stewart as Gurney. I only wish there had been more of him as I really liked his portrayal of the character.

So, if you are considering watching this movie but don’t know anything about Dune in general, I will offer the same advice that folks gave me, read the book first. Trust me, it will make more sense in the long run if you do.

Sorry for the break in service!

2011-10-07T15:49:00.004+01:00

Okay, have to be brief today, I've got to cook supper for the kids. What to tell you?

1. Working on FINAL edits of Ash Mistry and the Savage Fortress. Gosh, this has been a saga and a half.

2. The website's going to have a MAJOR revamp in the new year. Gothic is out, Indian is in. As part of the revamp there'll be a new gallery with portraits (by me!) of all the main characters in the Billi and Ash books. Here's the first work in progress, Billi herself. It's been a long time since I dusted off the old ink brushes but it makes a pleasant change to writing, I think it's the old left side v. right side brain function balancing itself out.

More later! Bye!!

Rakshasas, not your average demon

2011-09-20T18:25:00.004+01:00

Vampires. Yeah, been there, done that bought the teeshirt. Werewolves. Stock up on the silver bullets and they're TOAST. Fairies? Big problems with iron (kind of a bummer when the world's built of it). Zombies? Run fast and have a chainsaw handy.

The problem is that with most of the big bads we just know too much about them. Sure, they are scary but now come in easy to manage packages. With instruction manuals.

The fundamental attribute of any monster must be its unknown quantity. Think about the first ever Alien. Just one monster, creeping around the dark and scaring the bejeesus out of everyone. JUST ONE.

When a bad-guy is BADASS, you don't need more than one of them.

That's why I'm so excited about the new series, I'll bring you a new level of fear. The demons out of Indian mythology don't fit in boxes. They take many forms. Some haunt graveyards, others search the battlefields at night, feeding on teh dead, others are heroes in their own right and some, a few, challenge the gods. The Indian mythology doesn't play by Western ideas of good and evil. Look at Kali, the goddess of killers and the most bloodthirsty being in all creation whose dance of frenzy almost destroyed the universe. BUT she's the greatest defence we have against the forces of darkness because she's BADDER than the rest.

The same applies to rakshasas. By bringing in a 'new' mythos I can scrap all the things we know and love but (lets face it) have become blase. Can you honestly say that you don't roll your eyes a little when you see another vampire book? Be honest. Thought so.

The unknown. It's the source of all our fears. Lets have it back, shall we?

FIGHT!

2011-09-11T23:53:00.003+01:00

Continuing the theme I've been developing over the last few months (the nature of bad-assness) I'd like to take this opportunity to educate you on what are the GREATEST FIGHTS ever. We'll keep ourselves to those of the cinematic variety because, if you've ever been in a real fight you know that they're scrappy and relatively unartistic.

Lets see how badasses fight.

1. Achilles v Hector in Troy. Awesome movie and awesome fight. The whole movie comes down to this point and the rage Achilles has for the defender of Troy, Prince Hector. I know that snobs and purists complain that liberties were taken with the origianl text but, seriously, who wants the List of Ships on the screen? This was a battle between gods.

2. Bond v Red Grant in From Russia with Love. I think this was probably the first 'modern' fight scene. Cramped, desperate and brutal it had Bond fighting for his life like he never has before or since against a man who is in all ways his equal. Connery was the baddest of all Bonds and I defy anyone to disagree after watching this scene.

3. Martin Blank v. Hitman in corridor in Grosse Point Blank. Clearly inspired by our No.2 choice what's interesting is that the actor, John Cusack, is a notable martial artist and the guy he was fighting was a top kick-boxer (and, I think, John's tutor). Lots of fients, kicks, brawling and excellent proof that the pen is indeed mighter than the sword.

4. Bruce Lee v. the henchmen in Enter the Dragon. Unarmed, jo sticks. Bo stick and finally the iconic nunchakus. I don't care how much of a pacifist you are, even the Dalai Lama dreams of being Bruce Lee.

5. Superman v. General Zod and his cronies in Superman II. Hey, they throw a bus at him! I love this because it's supers fight as supers would; lots of flying, being hurled through buildings and THROWING BUSES.

6. Maximus taking on the gang of gladiators in Gladiator. Are you not entertained? We sure are.

7. Spiderman v. Doctor Octopus in Spiderman 2. Full 3D battlefield and the train duel was rather terrific. Again, supers taking to the other level.

8. The Bride and the Crazy 88 in Kill Bill Vol. 1. So over the top and utterly ridiculous you have to love it. What is it about katanas?

9. Tavern brawl in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. That was the moment I fell in love with Zhang Ziyi.

10. Opening fight in The Brotherhood of the Wolf. The torrential rain, the mysterious men in long coats, the bad guys in dresses. Too cool and probably the most brilliant costume drama ever. And it had Monica Bellucci in it with not many clothes on.

Do check them out on YouTube.

Beards. Why men have them. Why men NEED them.

2011-09-06T19:09:00.002+01:00

I've just finished Giles Kristian's RAVEN, a book that's got loads of Vikings in it. More Vikings that a festival of Vikings during the Viking month of Viking, in Vikingland. It's so Viking even the women have beards.

Now, Vikings liked beards. Plaits too and small bones knotted within them as they brawled and sought out glory and weak-kneed churchmen.

It's the mark of a man, isn't it? At least publically and far less likely to get you arrested.

Then I thought (so rare nowadays). Templars. Beards. Spartans. Beards. Blackbeard. Beard. Santa. Beard. When you look at the stats, nine out of ten bad-asses had beards.

It says "hey, I'm not a woman." Infact, young samurai worried about such a issue used to grow moustaches so if they were ever decapitated (head-taking an honourable tradition in that culture) their killer wouldn't have his reputation blemished by anyone thinking he'd killed a girl. Now that's manly when you're working about your own severed head.

So I'm introducing a 'Beard Rating'. It's to establish how manly a thing is. Now we're not talking about just your DNA, but MANLY. Like don't do the washing up and 'hey, I've only worn this underwear five days and it's fine.' That sort of 'out-on-the-ledge' manliness which is so rare nowadays since we've given up existing in a hunter-gather society. And they say all progress is good.

So, Raven by Giles Kristian. Beardy down to your knees it's that manly. Sorry, MANLY.

Ironclad the movie, starring James Purefoy as a Knight Templar. Ankle-length beard. He's a Templar. 'Nuff said.

Conan the Barbarian. Hmm, maybe waist length beard. Yes, he lives, loves and slays, but there's a certain lack of true barbarism. Would the new Conan expect to hear the lamentation of his enemies women? Not so sure.

Conan the Barbarian as written by R.E Howard, knee-length beard.

So, next time you read something and feel the urge to tear off your shirt and run screaming in the woods wrestling trees, that's because that book has BEARD.

Till next time, folks.

Oh, in case you were wondering about Twilight? Clean-shaven.

Acts of Faith (or how Sarwat went to Hollywood)

2011-08-30T11:18:00.005+01:00

As some of you may know my background isn't in writing, but engineering. I point this out to remind everyone who's trying to become a writer that degrees in English Lit or a MA in Creative Writing or years as a journalist are TOTALLY UNNECESSARY in becoming a writer. Hey, you don't even need to have had an exciting life (but having one of some sort does help).
I'm not even quite sure how much talent you need, either. We've all read some truly appalling books that have been best-sellers, haven't we?
But what you need is FAITH. Now I'm not venturing into Richard Dawkins/Phillip Pullman territory here with the nature of God and all that, but more belief in what you're doing. The years, the reams of paper and the endless fustration at rejections do not matter if you have faith. If others have faith too. You'll be amazed how far such passion will get you.
You've heard much about my agent, Sarah Davies. She is first and foremost in The Faithful. If you're agent doesn't have faith in your ability, find another agent. Simple as.
But today I'm talking about Jerry Kalajian, my film agent.
Jerry read Devil's Kiss back when it was just a bundle of loose A4 sheets. Now that seems like ancient history but it was just 4 years ago. Surprising how much can happen in that time. Since then he's had faith and HUGE passion that this is a story he could sell. We had a few near misses and most people would have given up. Hollywood turns quickly and things can become old very quickly. Just look at Megan Fox's career (just joking, Megan. Dropping out of Transformers 3 was a GOOD CALL).
But Jerry had faith and believed in Devil's Kiss and Billi SanGreal.
Then, Gale Anne Hurd came on board.
Gale's the producer of The Walking Dead series, and also The Terminator and Aliens. She was married to James Cameron and is an Arsenal fan. I'm not sure how all these facts are related but she was looking for a new female action hero and Jerry sent her Devil's Kiss.
Beatrice, the VP of Gale's production company, Valhalla Motion Pictures (cool or what?) read it and then a meeting was arranged, as I happened to be heading out to LA for the book tour anyway.
So, one morning in March Jerry and I were sitting in the lobby of Gale's office. The wall is covered with posters from her career. We've got The Punisher, Terminator, Aliens, Aeon Flux, we've got the Hulk.
Remember, a few years earlier my career was based on designs of central heating systems. The only posters I saw were the layouts of kitchen units.
The world turns on faith. We need to believe in what's possible more than what's already out there. Jerry has been an amazing example of that and I pity anyone with an agent who's not even half as dedicated. Then with Beatrice and Gale championing Billi the books have now been optioned by Gaumont Pictures. There's talk of a Billi SanGreal tv series, which is insanely cool because now Buffy's retired we need a new kick-ass vampire/demon/werewolf-slaying heroine, don't we? I'll keep you totally informed should such an event happen but, hey, a trip out to Hollywood is nice and there's always the next book.
This isn't about me boasting but telling you, whatever you're doing, you have no idea where it can lead. With writing, there is no reason you can't be as big as anyone already out there. Yes, that includes JK Rowlings. Why not? I really, REALLY do believe that faith will get you further than you imagine. Yes, it must be backed up with work and more work, but believing that you can succeed and be as good as anyone else out there on the shelves is fundamental. There's an awful lot of bad fiction selling by the truckload (most of it involving vampires I'm afraid). You can write better then them, can't you? Look at it this way, even if you do only as half as well as JK, that's £250 million in the bank, isn't it?
Now, where did I put that Aston Martin catalogue..?

Because Ninjas are COOL!

2011-08-23T19:47:00.002+01:00

Do you remember when you first came across a ninja? I do. Eric Van Lustbader's book, the Ninja, was being passed around the class (thanks, Robert!) and we were agog at the sheer coolness on ninjas, that they could make poison out of dandelions (or something) and there were scenes with lots of exclaimation marks that, as 12 year olds, we didn't quite understand and wouldn't for quite some time (and for some of us, it would be quite some time).

Anyway, needless to say, I wanted to be one. That didn't happen but I did go through a phase of knocking myself silly trying to use a pair of nunchuks and loosing my shuriken over the fence into the neighbour's garden and upsetting his dog.

And I wrote ninja stories. There wasn't a tale that couldn't be improved by adding a ninja. How MacBeth would have been much happeir if he'd used ninjas to kill Duncan rather than do the job himself. How Romeo and Juliet was like two warring ninja clans (Kyushu and Iga, if I remember correctly) and (my masterpeice, titled 'Dressed to Kill') where James Bond fights a ninja while he's getting dressed for a party (metaphorically dressed to kill) then throws the ninja out the window but stabs himself on poisoned caltrops left on the sill by the ninja (who's literally dressed to kill). My old English teacher, Ms. Masters, despaired a little. I like to think she's forgiven me now.

Yes, but Sarwat, is there a point to this?

Well, it's about writing what you love, no matter what everyone else thinks. I still have a fond spot for ninjas and I recently found a copy of Lustbader's book and reread those chapters I didn't understand the first time around and now completely get why my parents confiscated the book.

Ash Mistry and the Savage Fortress

2011-08-18T22:12:00.003+01:00

Please note the following, as they may help later:

1. We have a young boy (Ash Mistry, aged 13).

2. We have a demon king (Ravana, who's age is his own business).

3. We have an Indian setting (glorious, ancient, insanely cool, at least six thousand years old)

4. We have a bad-ass punch dagger (called a katar) because, as all bad-asses know, samurai swords are for wimps.

Oh, and a golden arrowhead. Now that'll be really important.

I'm just back from a jolly nice visit to HarperCollins HQ and have a few spare copies of the arc of this here book. ONE (and only one, alas) copy will be given away this year. So, if you want to read it first and be envied throughout the land, please stay tuned. BUT (big clue) it'll help if you follow me here or on Twitter. Chums on my newsletter will score extra points. Just sayin'.

There are a few minor tweaks still to be sorted but the book's pretty ready to go, though it won't be relased until March 2012 in the UK and Fall 2012 in the US.

I know it's AGES AWAY but some things are worth the wait!

Exactly how BAD ASS are you?

2011-08-07T00:53:00.002+01:00

There comes a time in every kid's life when they contemplate the BIG questions. Now I'm not talking religion or who's going to win X-Factor and whether Justin Beiber will have a career after puberty, but the BIG BIG BIG questions.

It struck me, yesterday, when daughter No.1 came out of the garden with half the skin scrapped off her forehead from a swing/ground interface incident. Now that's after a week of falling into a lake (surfing) and, if I remember correctly, falling out of a tree.

Memo to self: get that girl's inner ear checked.

But, as the kind man on security (don't ask) said: it proves you've had a childhood. Scar-tissue, that it.

But it's more fundamental than that. It's when you scrap your knee or get a cricket ball in the face (my particular speciality) or a fist in the mouth (long story, maybe another time) and your lower lip quivers and the tears form when you decide:

Am I BAD-ASS or not?

With my new series on the horizon (oooh, look at the gorgeous cover, soon my pretties, soon!) I've been contemplating what exactly is my book about? What are any of my books about?

They're about BAD ASSES.

Now, I've not wondered into the genre of BAD-ASSNESS by accident. I've studied it long and hard for many, many years. I like to think of myself as someone, like a alchemist, who's trying to filter through the pages of his books tales of pure, untainted and undiluted BAD ASS. Not fantasy. Not urban fantasy or gothic horror or supernatural suspense and certainly NOT paranormal romance but BAD ASS storytellling. Books about heroes who swear and bleed and suffer and never, ever, EVER give up. They would die before surrender.

Are we all clear?

Good. Especially you at the back, thought I saw you nodding off a bit earlier.

Think of this as re-establishing my writing credo. Books of bad-asses. Nothing more, nothing less.

But how do you recognise a bad-ass? Are you a bad-ass? Is your sister? So, to help you work out if you are, indeed, a member of the SOBA (the Society of Bad Assess) I've put together a questionnaire for you. Let's begin:

1. Every bad-ass has some scar. How did you get yours?

a) scrapped your knee when you fell off your bike when you were six.

b) picked at those acne spots when you were told to leave them alone.

c) got those scars on your cheeks when a spear was thrown straight through YOUR FACE.

2. Your surrounded and outnumbered a hundred to one AT LEAST. The enemy commander tells you to lay down your weapons. Do you:

a) think 'fair enough. Wasn't my fight anyway' and go home for a dish of cowardly custard.

b) Ignore him and wait for someone to have a go.

c) yell back 'Come and get them!'.

3. Bad-asses like to PARTAY. Now, you've been invitred to teh house of a handsome Russian prince with plenty of wine, food and fun. How does REAL bad-ass party end?

a) A game of charades and an early bed. After all it is a school night.

b) blinding hangover and waking up somewhere on the end of the Northern line.

c) with being shot, poisoned, stabbed and thrown in a icy river?

4. What are the best things in life?

a) A new highest score on your X-box, a slice of pizza and a marathon Harry Potter session, dressed up?

b) A swift horse, a falcon at your wrist and the wind in your hair?

c) To crush your enemies, to see they driven before you and to hear the lamentation of their women?

5. Bad-asses don't stay at home, watching the goggle-box. They're out there, fighting the good fight. They see things. Tell me, what have you seen?

a) Well, she was across the road and it was crowded BUT you think you spotted Paris Hilton down at the supermarket.

b) Your true love standing on the beach, lit by the setting sun. Aah.

c) Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser Gate.

6. The Romans have taken over your kingdom, raped your children and whipped the skin off your back Do you ..?

a) curl up in a ball in the corner and cry and cry your little heart out?

b) find someone to complain to and take your complaint to their commanding officer?

c) stick a pair of scythes to your chariot, burn Londonium to the ground and massacre its entire inhabitants?

ANSWERS

You answered c) right? Your are wise to the ways of the bad-ass, my young apprentice. Anything else and you'd best stay in bed on days where the weather's a bit clement, we wouldn't want you getting a cold now, would we? Each of the c) answers are based on a epic bad-ass from history or fiction. Anyone of them a worthy mentor to any prespective bad-asses-in-training. If you don't know them, you'll have to wait 'till next week.

Two fine gentlemen

2011-07-17T22:44:00.007+01:00

Wouldn't it just be so much cooler if we could wear stuff like this rather than jeans and teeshirts?
These are soldiers of the Horse Artillery from the Peninsula Wars as anyone familiar with Sharpe would know.
That's back in the days when men were men, women were women and food had no additives. Yes, the week before last.
We're all just back from the Festival of History in sunny (and fequently rainy) Kelmarsh. If you're remotely interested in British military history it's seriously the place to go. Starting off with the Imperial Romans there were displays and battles galore from Normans, Crusaders (I'm sooo Team Saladin), Napoleonics, War of the Roses (and Team Richard III), tent-pegging from Prince Malik's Lancers (cannot believe the speed these guys galloped and hit their targets) WW1 and WW2. The WW2 re-enactment included an aireal dogfight and a few victory roles from the legendary Spitfire, honestly I had a lump in my throat. Awesome and incredibly moving.
Which neatly brings me to my birthday present. I'd really, really like a suit of armour please. Or a Spitfire.
Which also brings me to outline my action list, so you and my editors don't think I'm just sitting at home watching the Wire. Which I am, but that's research.
1. Ash Mistry and the Savage Fortress is DONE. I've seen the draft of the UK cover, it's violent, gloriously so, and (IMHO) will offer those in search for kick-ass action a whole new standard of inappropriate behaviour.
2. Ash #2 is almost done. We're still in Draft 1 territory so a lot of work still ahead, but hey, moving forward. Plan to have that wrapped up by September, then let it stew for a few months before hitting the second draft. That should got off to the publishers end of the year.
3. NEW novel. I'm a big fan of historical fiction and what to give that a go. There's two projects, one joint with a very cool writer friend of mine where we'll be delving into a period right after the Norman invasions and a second, lone project which will be about mid-nineteeth century Punjabi politics, which, I'm sure you'll agree, the world is in desperate need of. Not a week goes by when I'm asked by some fan or editor, "Sarwat, we're in desperate need of a book about mid-nineteenth century Punjabi politics, they're the next big thing after vampires and dystopia and (insert trend of your choice)!"
4. NO Billi SanGreal book. At least not for now. There may be some interesting Billi news sometime soon though. Stay tuned.

So, remember. Mid-nineteenth century Punjabi political novels. They're the next big thing and you heard it here first.

My agent, Sarah Davies

2011-07-10T20:43:00.004+01:00

Now as much as I'd like to to claim my literary success is all down to ME, ME, ME!!! I'm afraid that would be a bloody, big, fat LIE!
So, let's discuss the woman behind me getting a few books on the shelves, Sarah Davies (strips on the left, the one in leopard print is Julia, her right hand woman).
Sarah and I met through a writing competition (Undiscovered Voices). She was one of the judges and I one of the fortunate winners. That was back in the day when 'Devil's Kiss' was still called 'God's Killer'. We met and chatted and soon after I joined Greenhouse Literary Agency. At that point the Greenhouse comprised me and Sarah and her dog.
Sarah took my manuscript by the throat and tore it apart, pointing out a looong series of swordfights do not a novel make. Now, Sarah knew what she was doing. Before she was an agent she'd worked long and hard as a publisher and her editing skills remain second to none. She will make your book better, much much better.
She'll be blunt when she needs to be, comforting those moments when you wonder why on earth you decided to choose this career over, say, being a bomb disposal expert. She's be the first with the good news (you have a book deal!) and first with the whip (rewrite it until it SHINES!) and pretty much everything in between.
She will make you walk the hard road but will walk it with you.
Though it's my name on the cover the books I've written have a large amount of Sarah's DNA entwined into every page. I kinda feel bad it is only my name but hey, I'm needy.

A bald, bold new look

2011-06-28T19:05:00.005+01:00

Just went to the barbers yesterday and frankly, I'm wondering whether to bother much longer. Once, there were scissors, wax, gel, layers and shampooing and sensual combing of long silken locks and now it's about 30 seconds with a pair of clippers and a bit of tweaking around the ears.

Soon there'll be nothing to do but give it a polish.

Which got me thinking, we should not be ashamed of our folically challenged-ness-ness, we should celebrate it!

So, today's blog is to applaud the bad, the bald, the beautiful. And the not so much.

1. Blofeld. Back in the day when Connery was Bond and Donald Pleasance first appeared from behind his Ayran henchman and declared "You only live twice, Mr. Bond." Check it out on YouTube, gives me chills even now. A look often immitated, but never equalled. Yes, I do mean Dr.Evil. And seriously, what a work ethic. Base in a hollowed out volcano, world conquest, pirahna fish tank. While Bond is there lying back in his silk sheets with some blonde, Blofeld is out there, taking on the Man. Respect.

2. Thuggee Boss Man, above. Mola Ram. Enslaves children, tears hearts out from innocent locals, tosses Kate Capshaw down into a volcano and heads up the greatest assassin cult in history. And check out that tiger tooth necklace! Now I know necklaces for men are the newest metro-sexual thing but seriously, amber or those silly little beads? If you're going to wear jewellry, as a bloke, it's got to make a statement and nothing says 'BAD-ASS' like a necklace of tigers' teeth. I've no doubt Mola Ram ripped those teeth out with his own hands. So, repeat after me, "Kali Maa! Kali Maa!"

3. Colonel Kurtz. Apocalypse Now is one of the few films I can see time and time again. Especially the Bunny-girl bit. But there's so much more to it than inappropriate dancing on a helicopter! It's a quest movie, like The Hobbit but less so on the dragons and dwarves and more on the napalm (which apparently smells like victory) and blowing up villages. Which, come to think of it, is what happens in The Hobbit too! Wow, never saw that connection. I think I might blog on that later. Still, Kurtz. Out in the jungle, a man might lose perspective. Hey, haven't you been on holiday, got off the beaten track and just decided to set yourself up as a despot ruler of a bunch of jungle dwelling natives? No? Maybe it's just me then.

Till next time folks.

Book signing this Saturday!

2011-06-22T07:53:00.004+01:00

I'm incredibly lucky that I've a number of amazing independent bookshops near where I live, in sunny South London. There's Village Books, Tales on Moon Lane and Crow on the Hill and then there's Dulwich Books, where I'll be signing copies of Devil's Kiss and Dark Goddess from 10am to 11am on Saturday 25th June.

I will also be talking some about my new series, the Ash Mistry Chronicles.

Dulwich Books is having a whole day of children's events on Sat, me at 10am, Sorrel Anderson at 11 and Doodle activity day from 12pm, surely the perfect solution for what will (probably) be a rainy weekend.

So, do take the train down south, it's lovely and not half as smoggy as North London and we have many delightful parks, and come in and say 'hello'. I don't bite!

Conflict

2011-06-18T10:44:00.006+01:00

Okay, we're now going to discuss the first, and probably ONLY law (nay, commandment even!) of stories.

THOU SHALT HAVE CONFLICT.

And to show you what I mean we're going to look at the best movie of the year, X-Men First Class.

Seriously, if you've not seen it, what the hell have you be doing with your summer? Summers were meant to spent in the cinema dudes!

Level One. Physical. Surely I don't need to explain this? This is your basic black hat v. white hat. It's your jedi v. sith. No talk, no discussion or debate over the rights and wrongs, just put two men in a room and give them a gun each. Sebastian Shaw and Erik. You know they're never going to be on the same side, not never, not no how. Sorted.

Level Two. Emotional. Should you or shouldn't you? This is (typically) internal. The character is in conflict with himself. There's the option of the easy way, or the hard way. Both will get the same result, but one is usually moral the other isn't. It could be a bloke dropping his wallet on the street, thick with cash. Do you pocket it or run after him and hand it back? This is Erik's conflict throughout, knowing he's on the path of damnation but will never permit himself off it, because that requires forgiveness and that's something he doesn't have.

Level Three. Idealogical. Professor X and Magneto are great examples of friends that can never be true allies because their idealogies are too different. Prof X believes that humans and mutants can live side by side, Magneto believes they can't, one will hunt down the other. What's interesting is their backstory provides the logic of their beliefs. Magneto been a victim of the Nazis, while Prof. X can read peoples minds (this was something that should have been made more of) so he can see peoples true intentions. I like to think that's what's led him to faith in humanity. If there's one slip in this story is that Erik's backstory is so overwhelmingly powerful (as it should be) that Xavier seems naive in comparison. Xavier's convictions should have been 'bumped' up so we're wholly behind him too.

Notice how I don't mention morality as a conflict because BOTH sides should always believe they are morally right. It's never a choice between good and evil (which is never a choice), its a choice between two goods or two evils.

So, X-Men First Class. Go see it.

Percival

2011-06-05T23:41:00.004+01:00

I was recently contacted by someone who was DEEPLY UPSET by the death of certain characters in Devil's Kiss.
Putting aside that, actually, I'm pleased she was angry as it showed they meant something to her.
They meant something to me too.
Percy is basically the guy who raised Billi. Arthur was too consumed by his bitterness and rage to have time for his daughter so it was Percy who remembered her birthdays, looked after her when she was sad or ill, remembered that she was more that just a soldier in the Bataille Tenebreuse.
Percy met Arthur when they were Royal Marines. Percy, born and brought up in Ghana, ended up Arthur's closest friend, and conspirator. When Arthur decided to go 'off reservation' during the Balkans War, it was Percy who went with him. It was Percy who first encountered the brutal darkness in the heart of Arthur SanGreal.
Arthur didn't cope with war as well as Percy. In the end Percy was wiser than Arthur, who had ideals and a strict moral code. The qaugmire of that war broke him. Percy, more realistic perhaps, came out of that dirty little war with his sanity intact, even if his faith in humanity reduced.
They went their separate ways. Arthur soon living on the streets and Percy trying, but failing, to make it as a civilian. Some men were just born for war, it seemed.
So, when Arthur was recruited into the Templars, he contacted Percy, explaining this was the battle they had to fight, against the true monsters.
When Arthur started a relationship with Jamila, it was Percy alone who knew, and kept quiet. Perhaps he hoped Jamila was take Arthur out of the Templars, especially when they married and she became pregnant with Billi.
But Arthur felt the Templars was his calling, and no-one argues with Arthur SanGreal.
However, for a time, it seemed Arthur and Jamila would be happy. Percy saw the cracks, her desire for a quiet, family life, Arthur's need to prove himself. Percy and Jamila, while never close friends, understood each other. Both loved Arthur and who do anything for him, but both knew Arthur's greatest enemy was himself.
Percy was Billi's godfather, and closest protector. He regreted her recruitment into the Templars and did what he could to give her a 'normal' life.
Percy gave it life to the Templars, but was never obsessed by the cause teh way the others were. If things had been a little different, he would have walked away. But he stayed, and died, out of love for his best friend and his best friend's daughter.

The afterlife for books

2011-05-30T08:47:00.002+01:00

Slowly but surely I am getting rid of my books. No more stacking them into bookshelves or piling them in corners or under desks. Once read, they go. Doesn't matter if they're signed first editions or the 'must have' YA of the season, I have to clear my shelves. In fact, if you're in South London there's a good chance you will find quite a lot signed YA novels, I've offloaded a few quite recently and some of them are BIG NAMES.
Now, if course, the only reason to clear the shelves is to put new books in there, which is, after all, the best thing about this strategy. NEW BOOKS. New, pretty packages of words with fine covers, a sensible thickness and weight. I love books.
There are specific books that I love more than others, ones I will not get rid out. The first copy of Wizard of Oz I ever bought with my own pocket money. My first Dungeons and Dragons PHB, which I coloured in myself and at some point, will finish colouring in.
My daughter's moved onto Harry Potter so we're holding onto them, but not for sentimental reasons.
After all, I do have a library down the road. Whatever book I need, I can get. For example, I recently gave away my entire Percy Jackson collection. Then, suddenly, I needed Lighting Thief. My editor and I were debating how much gratuitous sex, violence and profanity I could put into a mid-grade novel and she suggested I check out the first Percy book.
I'm somewhat amazed to discover that the answer was NONE AT ALL.
So, you'll be pleased to know my next novel will be considerably shorter than anticipated.
The only books I did feel a slight pang of pain when I gave them to the charity shop was Phillip Pullman's Northern Lights triology. But they had worked their magic on me already, so let them be freed to work their magic on another!
I love browsing for books in charity shops. There used to be loads on Charing Cross Road , now sadly converted into cake and coffee shops mainly. I still miss the Virago shop that used to be down there and the Islamic bookshop too. The main attraction is their shambolic shelving. Everything is just squeezed in, irrespective of genre or popularity. It's an adventure. You might stumble onto anything and, at 50p a pop, risk a gamble and pick up something you wouldn't otherwise try. That how I ended up reading the autobiography of Reggie Kray, Born Fighter, for example.

Devil's Kiss in Italian

2011-05-22T19:16:00.006+01:00

Sometimes I feel a bit in awe of the publishing process, and a large part of that centres around the talent behind the bookcovers so I'm perticulary pleased with this, the Italian cover of Devil's Kiss, which has just come out.
My translater, Giorgio, contacted me to arrange an interview for his Italian website, but his questions were cool and different from what I'm normally asked, I'm uploading the interview (in English), here.

1) Billi SanGreal: a kick-ass heroine who’s not just brave and strong, but also well trained and highly educated miles away from the image of an inactive princess waiting for her prince charming to make her happy. Are you trying to tell young readers something about the role of women in modern society?
I have two daughters, so I knew I was going to write a heroine. But I wanted the books to have a mythic quality, after all we’re talking about Templars and monsters and archangels. So I based Billi on the mythic heroines like Athene, like Boudica and the Rani of Jhansi, all powerful warriors as well as being female.
Athene is perhaps the biggest inspiration. She’s the goddess of war and wisdom, and wisdom is what Billi’s chasing. How does she know she’s making the right choice? Because her father told her so? Because society expects her to be like that? She questions, and that is what’s important.
I think, even now in the 21st Century, there are still old-fashioned gender expectations which, sadly, get reflected in a lot of literature aimed at girls. I think it starts early with stories like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. What do these heroines actually do? Cinderella looks pretty in her dresses and Sleeping Beauty just lies there!
This seeps into a lot of YA fiction too, where the heroine is fundamentally passive and it’s the male love interest that holds all the power. That’s not the world I want my daughters to inherit.
2) "What is Hell? Hell is the cry of a starving infant. Hell is the begging for mercy then denied. Hell is the betrayals between man and wife. The lies between father and child. Hell is where the heart is.”
OMG! That certainly leaves not much room for Heaven! What can we do?
Remember who you’re quoting, it was the Devil and he’ll have a fairly negative view of humanity, so I wouldn’t trust his opinion on anything.
But Devil’s Kiss is a grim, dark story. It’s not your usual paranormal romance where the girl gets the boy and they all live happily ever after. I wanted the horror and brutality of the world Billi lives in to be authentic and sincere, she’s playing for the highest stakes imaginable.
Billi and the Templars are about the struggle. They know they’ll never win, the best they can do is keep the darkness at bay for a little longer. That takes a particular type of bravery, knowing it will never end but carrying on regardless.
It’s too easy to let morality and common humanity fall by the wayside as you pursue your ambitions. The Templars are heroic because they fight to defend humanity when at times they may feel humanity is no better than the creatures they face. That’s especially true in Dark Goddess when Billi realises the enemy is just as dedicated as her, and they may be right, not her.
3) As translator of your book I had to do a bit of research before starting to work on the text and I believe a book, when is well written like in this case, has the power of pushing the reader to find out and discover a lot of information he didn’t know or care about before. How important was research for Devil’s Kiss – or any other book you wrote or are about to write?
I do a lot of research for all my books, for me it’s half the fun. Firstly, they all have some historical aspect to them and they’re set in real locations, I need to get those right. Book 2, Dark Goddess, is set in Russia so I spent a week in Moscow because I knew a large part of the story would happen there. I read up on Russian history to get a few ideas, visited the museums and read some of their literature (The Master and the Margerita by Bulgakov is awesome).
Before I wrote Devil’s Kiss I read everything I could on the Templars, probably for about six months.
The new series is set in India, so again lots of reading and a trip out there to walk the streets and alleyways of Varanasi. By actually being there I get a depth of realism I couldn’t get any other way.
Remember, my first book is set in my home town. I need all my other books to have the same level of detail or else I’ve failed.
4) I would say London is not just the setting of your first book, but a real character that makes the story unique. 3 must-see places in London by Sarwat Chadda’s travel agency?
I love London. I’ve lived here most of my life and I never tire of it. I’m glad you think London had a character of its own, that was exactly what I was after.
Temple Church (of course). The entire area of Temple is great, so bring some sandwiches and explore.
Then try Southwark from Tower Bridge, the walk along the Thames through to Waterloo. You’ve got the cathedral, the Globe, London Bridge and brilliant views of St. Paul’s. I’d do that at night when the city’s lit up.
Finally I’d spend a day in Knightsbridge, visiting the museums. You’ve got the Victoria and Albert, The Natural History and the Science Museum all next to one another. There’s Kensington Palace, Harrods and the Albert Memorial.
5) Turning page after page of Devil’s Kiss I found it highly visual and often thought “Gosh, this scene would look great on a big screen!” or “I’d love to see this fight”. Should we readers get the pop corn ready for a night at the movies?
Ah, I hope to be able to make an announcement on that soon. There’s been screen interest on and off over the last few years and I’d be so happy if something like that did happen. I love epics!
6) Any tips for all the new writers wishing to make a name for themselves in the crowded children’s literature world?
Do not follow the crowd. It will serve you best in the long run. Write what only you can write and don’t try to copy someone else.
Each of us has a unique view of the world, and something we truly believe in, that is what you should write about. Aim at writing the best book you can, not something you think will sell. If your heart’s not in it the reader will know.
7) As a child, what were your favourite readings? Were you a frequent reader?
Oh, I read a lot! I loved the Hobbit and I still think it’s my favourite book. I was also hugely into the Greek myths. I had a story book about Jason and the Argonauts and spent ages copying the pictures.
I don’t read is much as I’d like. I read most on holiday when I make sure I am not working. The problem I find is when I’m reading at home I feel I should be writing. Plus I have less patience for a poorly written book nowadays, so have a tendency to stop books half-way through if I’m not enjoying them.
8) From engineer to acclaimed writer. What skills from your old profession did you take along with you?
Planning. I have some writer friends who just launch into their books, not having any idea how it’s going to turn out. Alas, I can’t operate like that. I need a clear idea of where I’m headed before I start. Now that doesn’t mean it won’t change and it invariably does, but I do plan my books and my time in quite a lot of detail.
More directly Devil’s Kiss climaxes on a building site so that’s been directly drawn from my life in construction.
9) What’s your perfect “writing habitat”?
I’ve got a fairly standard routine. After I’ve dropped the kids at school I write almost straight through until I pick them up. I aim to get 2,000 words down per day. I also work in a cafe a few days a week, just for a change of scene and I enjoy seeing people. I’ve written two books in that cafe so the locals know me well. Writing can be a very lonely profession so it’s good to work in company.
10) I know you recently toured the US. How was it? Any chance to see you in Italy in the near future to get our copies signed?
I’ve been to Italy three times in the last four years! There was Rome for my wife’s birthday, then Bologna for the book fair and recently to Naples to visit Pompeii and Herculaneum.
I studied Latin at school and have been fascinated by Roman history ever since, so going to Pompeii was a life-long ambition of mine, and it was everything I’d hoped it would be. The period of the Julian Caesars is probably my most favourite period of history. Without giving too much away Mount Vesuvius and the fate of Pompeii has a direct relevance to my second book, Dark Goddess.
I’m sure I’ll be in Italy soon enough and it would be very cool to sign some of my books.

What we could learn from Darth Vader

2011-05-10T11:59:00.003+01:00

Firstly, check out the utterly brilliant VW advert, here, then come back, I'll be waiting.
Great wasn't it? Makes you wonder what life was like before YouTube. Did you check out the Thor advert too? Go on, it's as good. Don't be too long as I do have something important to discuss.
Seen them both? Great, let's kick off.
"Do or do not. There is no try." Yoday imparted these words of wisdom to young Skywalker in Empire when he was trying to lift the X-wing out of the swamp.
I would argue that's an incredibly damaging piece of advice to give a jedi in training, or anyone for that matter. In fact, the opposite is MORE important.
Let's say to try and build a Death Star to, y'know, rule the galaxy or something. To bring order to it and make sure everyone pays their taxes, unlike those bloody cheapskates in Naboo. Then some punk-ass kid blows it up. After all those years of effort! The ingrate!
So what, you build another one. You don't sit there moaning that it's not worth the effort, you tried once and failed, no point doing it again. No, you get out of your isolation chamber, put on the bad-ass helmet and you BUILD ANOTHER.
Which also gets blown up. Some people.
Not everyone can DO, but everyone can TRY. And the more you try, the more likely it is you will DO.
The Star Wars legacy carried a dangerous message as it expanded. First, you had Luke, innocent farmboy who, by effort and TRYING, became the hero of the galaxy. then, as the series expanded, we discovered he was the Chosen One, it was his DESTINY, to be what he was. It's all down to those bloody midi-chlorians. You can try as hard as you like, but if your midi-chlorian count is too low, forget it. Better just get behind the bar at Mos Eisley and leave the hero stuff to the CHOSEN ONE.
I hate that. I'm a republican (not in the let's go shoot a moose kind of way, after all what has a moose every done to me? but in that, c'mon, this is the 21st Century and we've still got a monarchy? WTH?). It implies status is something your born with (like midi-chlorians), that role and most of all, POTENTIAL, is not defined by effort, by hard work or by perserverence, but by pure, stupid, blind luck. It's utterly passive and the thinking of a small child, that deep down they're a prince or princess and sooner or later their real parents will come and collect them and they'll have a perfect life in a palace with servants and everything with no effort at all. What's a shame is that a lot of grown ups and people who should know better believe that too. Lottery tickets are a grown up version of that wish-fulfillment.
Look at the kid. Does he give up? No, he tries and tries and eventually, gets the car to come ALIVE. What's funniest is the dad, thinking he did it by pressing the button. Yeah, as if.

She came, she saw, SHE KICKED ASS!

2011-05-05T15:52:00.007+01:00

I received a very pleasant bit of news yesterday. Kirkus Reviews listed out their 12 most kick ass teen heroines and Billi SanGreal was in amongst them, hanging out with the likes of Katniss Everdeen and Dru Anderson.
The full list is:
Lady Katsa from Graceling (Kristin Cashore)
Clary from City of Bones (Cassandra Clare)
Maggie from Prom Dates from Hell (Rosemary Clement-Moore)
Katniss from Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins)
Eona from Eona (Alison Goodman)
Kaede from Huntress (Malinda Lo)
Ai Ling from Silver Phoenix (Cindy Pon)
Hanna from Bleeding Violet (Dia Reeves)
Jael from Misfits (Jon Skovron)
Dru from Strange Angels (Lili St. Crow)
Tally from Uglies (Scott Westerfield)
And Billi SanGreal!
So, now there's no excuse to sit there wondering where are the self-rescuing princesses of YA. They're on this list. Check them out and stop reading about those moping minnies, y'hear?

Jamila SanGreal

2011-05-03T19:05:00.005+01:00

It remains a constant source of amazement amongst the Templars (especially Percival) how on earth someone like Arthur married someone like Jamila.
Born and brought up on the borders of Afghanistan Jamila saw a lot of war as a child. Daughter of a local teacher she spent most of her childhood amongst the refugee camps on the Pakistani-Afghani border. It was perhaps there she decided her vocation, to be a doctor.
Soon after qualifying she joined a NGO (non-government organization) that provided medical services to some of the most dangerous places in the world, helping civilians in war zones and disaster areas. Arthur joked Jamila had more scars than he did.
She spent the early 1990s in places like Somalia, Gaza, Bosnia, Iraq and Chechnya. She worked as a doctor for Medicine Sans Frontiers and the Red Crescent, one day offering advice on chest colds the next pulling out shrapnel from children's bodies.
In the mid-90's she came to London, working in a charity hoping to raise funds for one of the NGOs. It was meant to be a temporary gig before she headed out into some new war but there she met Arthur. He was like many of the war-wounded she'd helped over the years, mentally broken and terribly damaged emotionally. It was about this time he met Gwaine, and was being recruited inot the Knights Templar.
It was after a botched ghul encounter he was brought, mauled and near death, to her. She stitched him up and saved his life. That night Jamila entered the world of the Bataille Tenebreuse. Over the next few months she became close of Arthur, tending the wounds of the other knights, learning of their world, and becoming good friends with Elaine.
I think Arthur realises how lucky he was that someone like Jamila fell in love with him. Deep down he still feels he didn't deserve her, and perhaps that's why, following her death, he couldn't stop blaming himself. She'd tried to get him to leave the order, knights weren't meant to marry let alone have children, but he always thought he'd just do the next mission, then quit.
No-one in the SanGreal Chronicles casts as long as a shadow as Jamila. Arthur and Billi are defined by her. Their relationship is mirrored by Arthur's feelings of failure and by the void Billi feels by not having known her mother.

Arthur SanGreal

2011-04-29T20:40:00.003+01:00

Half the fun is the backstory. Little of it ever appears in the final draft of a novel, unless you're writing some epic family drama, but as writers we want our characters to have 'real' lives.
What happened in their past to make them the people they are? What victories, what defeats shaped their view of the world?
Over the next few weeks I'm going to look inot teh backgrounds of each of the main players. There's stuff on Billi that never made it into the books that I feel might be fun to reveal here. But first I'll start with her dad.
Arthur SanGreal is a damaged man. Physically and emotionally scarred by what's happened to him I think he was a man who had ideals, then discovered those ideals could not be met in the real world. His attempts to keep honest, to keep moral, to keep the faith led him down a very dark path and I'm not sure he'll ever find his way back.
Arthur was a captain in the Royal Marine commandos, Percival was his sargeant. Back then, he felt he was on the side of the angels. He was a proficeint soldier, a reliable leader of men, a safe pair of hands. Not flash, but proficient.
That all changed in Bosnia.
For those of you too young to remember it was a civil war that broke out in the early 1990's in the former Yogoslavia. Ethnic and religious divisions resulted in some of the worse atrocities since the Second World War. Camps were set up, the likes of which Europe thought they'd never see again and the phrase 'ethnic cleansing' became the justification of all sorts of horrors and too many massacres to relate here.
I'm not political, but it's safe to say that the rest of the world really didn't know what to do, but make it worse. Impotent peacekeepers handed over thousands of innocents to be slaughtered and, through vain attempts to strike a deal, permitted the war to escalate to obscene proportions.
And broke Arthur SanGreal. You could say he merely joined in the madness. After standing by and allowing evil to be carried out under the flag of surrender, he took matters into his own hands. He, Percival and a few others decided to address the balance, and went off reservation. He was found out, and dishonourably discharged. Bosnia was a dirty little war and no-one came out of it well.
He went off the rails. He suffered from Post-traumatic stress syndrome and was soon living on the streets of London. And that's where Gwaine found him and recruited him into the Knights Templar.
Gwaine, for all his faults and rivalries with Arthur, was his saviour. He turned Arthur's depression (which is anger turned inwards) into an all-consuming fury, aimed at the Unholy. By discovering pure evil, Arthur was able to feed his demons, and thus find purpose in his life.
And then he met Dr. Jamila Khan...

Enter this competition

2011-04-13T09:02:00.002+01:00

The Undiscovered Voices 2012 has kicked off. So, if you want to get published in children's?YA fiction, this is probably one of your best chances to do so.
I entered it in 2008 and that's how I found an agent and editor. A lot of people have come the same route, so it WORKS.
More reasons?
1. Avoiding the slush pile. The judges of UV are editors and agents actively looking for new talent and you'll be able to pitch your story to a lot simultaneously.
2. Publishing is competitive, you might as well learn that now and enter a competition.
3. There are 12 selected winners, so your chances are up.
4. They're not all looking for paranormal romance and dystopia. Many of the winners have won because they weren't on trend and were writing something fresh and different. Tall Story by Candy Gourlay and Kate Dale's Someone Else's Footprints are prime examples. The judges here are looking for something fresh.
5. It's NOT about who you know. It's about the writing. It's not about attending courses, or being friends with a publisher or having family members within the industry or being good looking and charming on camera. Hey, I'm none of those things and I still got published!
Enter. You never know.

YALitChat this week!

2011-04-11T15:06:00.007+01:00

This week I'll be joining in with this rather special event. It's being held at YAlitChat and will be over Twitter this week, 13th and 14th. It's US-based so any Brits wanting to take part will have to stay up late or get up VERY early!

Night I April 13 @ 8:30-9PM EDT: Pre-Show squee-chat!

9-11PM EDT: Nancy Holder, Jason Henderson, Coe Booth, Malinda Lo, Mitali Perkins, Melissa de la Cruz, Karen Healey, Jaclyn Dolamore, Kierstin White Giveaways: signed copy of The Guardian of the Dead from Karen Healey, goodie bags and copies of Bloody Valentine from Melissa da la Cruz, signed copy of Bamboo People from Mitali Perkins, signed hardcover of Huntres from Malina Lo, ARC of Huntress from Malinda Lo, signed copy of CRUSADE from Nancy Holder, signed copy of Alex VanHelsing from Jason Henderson.

11PM-12AM EDT: Afterparty on Mundie Moms! Post-chat mayhem, fun and giveaways. Join us with special guest authors and more fun at a literary virtual afterparty than you can imagine.

Night II April 14 @ 9-11PM EDT

: Julia DeVillers, Beth Revis, Claudia Gabel, Helene Boudreau, Cyn Balog, Brenna Yavonoff, Sarwat Chadda, Andrea Cremer Giveaways: signed copies of books from Julia DeVillers, signed copies of Romeo and Juliet and Vampires from Claudia Gabel, signed copy of Real Mermaids Don’t Wear Toe Rings from Helene Boudreau, signed copy of Fairytale or Sleepless from Cyn Balog, copy of The Replacement from Brenna Yavonoff, signed copy of Dark Goddess from Sarwat Chadda, goodie bag from Melissa de la Cruz.

11PM-12AM EDT: Afterparty on Mundie Moms! Post-chat mayhem, fun and giveaways. Join us with special guest authors and more fun at a literary virtual afterparty than you can imagine.

Wings by Aprilynne Pike, Kiss Me, Kill Me Part 10!

2011-04-04T11:48:00.010+01:00

Wings by Aprilynne Pike

Thank goodness for a brand new fairy tale. Yes, I know, we’ve got Seelie Courts and all that trouble with iron and whatnot, but not with Wings. The story’s all slow burn, a perfect contrast to all those angsty, brooding and trouble-laden YA that is filling the shelves at the moment. Laurel, the fifteen year old heroine of Wings is surprisingly well adjusted, from a stable family and, especially for modern YA, actually happy.

Aprilynne’s book comes a breath of pure, forest fresh air and a great break from the smoggy urban settings that seem to be the natural habitat for such supernatural stories. Okay, I’m not spoiling this for anyone to say that Laurel discovers she’s a fairy. It says so on the book. What Aprilynne does is give us a fresh perspective, one that’s totally original and thought-out, elegant and mythic. Her world is based wholly around nature and the cycles, with faeries and their powers dictated by the seasons. Winter fae are the most powerful and the rulers of the fae world. Spring fae are warriors (very well represented by Tamani) and then we have summer fae and fall fae, who specialize in elixirs and potions. And we have trolls. The mis-shapen superhumans and the antithesis of the fairy, basically where nature got it wrong.

The book opens with Laurel, after years of home schooling, finally joining Del Norte High. She befriends David, and a quite but deep friendship develops. The fae reveal is well handled and builds naturally, Laurel is not human and the fairy have gone a long way in protecting her and introducing her into the human world. There are tricks and deceptions, betrayals along the way and the mysterious Mr. Barnes, determined to buy the old family land and the forests beside it. The heart of the story is the secret lying in the heart of the forest. That too takes a traditional legend and turns it on its head in an exciting and surprising way.

I bumped into Aprilynne (again) while on tour around the US. There was an attempt to recruit her daughter into the Templar cause, failing miserably. Still, give it another few years and I might try again.

1. The fairy setting you’ve created is utterly unique. Can you explain how the new myth came about?

Actually, it started with a really bad idea! I was working on a different book when I woke one night wanting to write about a goth faerie who lived with three old women and couldn’t go out after midnight because there was no power from the sun… Cinderella meets Superman, I guess. It seemed like a great idea at four in the morning and did not seem so great at eight in the morning, but the idea of faeries being powered by the sun led me to ask, “Why would that be?” The obvious answer was photosynthesis. We’ve all seen flower faeries and nature faeries in art and sculpture; I just brought them into YA. This created a challenge regarding the setting, because it rooted (hah!) my faeries in science. A lot of faerie authors either write about small, winged pixies or otherworldly, almost spirit-like fae, and the usual settings for those didn’t seem to fit well with my flower faeries. It was my husband who pointed out that in Arthurian legend incorporates faeries without really exploring the exact difference between human and fae—Morgan le Fay being the prime example, but even Lord Tennyson’s “Lady of Shalott” is referred to as a “fairy.” In Arthurian texts, magic terms like “fairy” and “sorceress” lack the almost rigid meanings they’ve acquired in modern fiction, to the point that they are even used interchangeably at some points in history. And Avalon, a legendary island known for its vegetation (specifically, its apples), seemed like the perfect place for my faeries to live. I also wanted my faeries to feel a bit universal, so I went looking for similarities between Arthurian legend and other mythology around the world. I looked for magical islands, magical gardens, anything to do with plants and seasons and even people who live longer than humans generally think possible. For example, the Japanese tale of Ryugu-jo, the undersea palace with all four seasons at its walls, became partial inspiration for the four-sided gateway in Avalon, and Greek tales of the Hesperides and their garden also played a role.

2. There is a great contrast between David and Tamani. Both are sincere and honest guys, a stark change from the clichéd teen bad boys. Do you think we’ve come to the end of that road, and we’re looking for a new type of love interest?

Oh, the teen bad boy archetype existed before Romeo first killed Tybalt and will probably be going strong when all record of Edward Cullen’s brooding bloodlust is eradicated from the universe by the fiery death-throes of our worn and weary sun. Something I think a lot of people forget about YA fiction is that ten years from now, there will be a whole new audience working through the very same issues their parents worked through twenty or thirty years before, but (with the exception of a handful of “classics”) they won’t want to read about it in the books their parents read—they will want something to call their own. So no, I don’t think we’ve come to the end of that road at all. :) But that doesn’t mean every author has to take that road every time, and there are some interesting stories to be told outside that particular genre trope. When I started writing about Laurel, I didn’t want her choice to be obvious from the get-go, so I gave her two different versions of the “perfect boyfriend” to choose from. My goal from the beginning was: Book One, readers should be torn; Book Two, readers should understand why Laurel chose what she chose; Book Three, readers should see the inevitable coming; Book Four, readers should be torn again. In another year or so I guess we’ll see how successful I was!

3. I loved your descriptions of the woodland settings. As a city boy born and bred it was wholly new and fantastical territory for me. Are the descriptions based on real locations?

They are, but only in the most general sense that I am drawing from my own impressions of woodlands I’ve visited in my life. I was also raised mostly in the city—and not just any city, but in Phoenix, Arizona. Phoenix is located in the Sonoran desert, home to such enchanting flora as the iconic saguaro cactus, the reportedly-edible prickly-pear cactus, and the legendary cholla “jumping” cactus. In high school my parents moved me to Driggs, Idaho, which is a very small town, but while it is greener than Phoenix (at least in the summer), it’s not exactly in the middle of an old-growth forest. I’m not sure whether this puts me at an advantage or a disadvantage, honestly. On one hand, when it comes to woodlands I don’t have a lot of experience to draw from; on the other, I suppose I probably observe and enjoy forests in ways the people who live there might take for granted. Honestly, I’m so bad with plants, the idea that there are places on earth where plants flourish spontaneously will probably never cease to amaze me.

4. Illusions, the third book is due out in a few months. Any little hints you can give us?

Absolutely! But for those who haven’t read the first two books: spoiler alert! In Illusions, readers will get to experience Laurel and David as a “comfortable couple,” see what Chelsea is like now that she’s in on Laurel’s secret, and learn what Tamani has been up to since his disappearance at the end of Spells. A new student will attract old dangers to Laurel’s school, Klea will collect on a favor, and important questions raised in the first two books will finally be answered.

Jeez, did I mention this?

2011-03-29T00:25:00.011+01:00

With all that had been happening over the last few weeks this was announced while I was on tour, so didn't blog about it myself. This is the announcement that came out in Publishers Marketplace at the beginning of March.

Sarwat Chadda's THE SAVAGE PALACE, the first book (and sequel) in the epic, adventurous Ash Mistry Chronicles, which weaves together contemporary and mythological India, about a boy who, while staying with family in India, discovers something is very wrong with a mysterious millionaire, finding himself in a desperate battle to stop his master plan - the opening of the Iron Gates that have kept the demon king at bay for four millennia, to Cheryl Klein at Arthur A. Levine Books, in a very nice deal, in a two-book deal, for publication in Fall 2012, by Sarah Davies at the Greenhouse Literary Agency (NA).

So, to clarify: Ash Mistry will be published in Spring 2012 in the UK and Fall 2012 in the US. I will tell you more about it later this year but it's been the book I've wanted to write more than anything, even before I dreamt up Billi. The Indian myths aren't really widely known in the West and I think that's a terrible shame. I hope Ash will be the first step in fixing this. The stories are set in the same world as Billi as I love cross-over stories. Some characters out of the Billi books will appear in Ash's adventures. But Ash is something different, and so's Parvati, the half-demon assassin he's forced to team up with. Need I tell you it will kick ass? Thought not.

Bad ass dads RULE!

2011-03-24T11:38:00.008Z

Let's face it, fiction is wish-fulfilment. We authors have utterly non-exciting lives. A job you can do wearing your pyjamas is not one that is filled with thrills, high adrenaline moments and a bevvy of beauties drapped across the furniture.
Rather than going out there and, like, doing stuff, we compensate by having an over-active imagination. Anything else would involved breaking out a sweat. That's not where we writers are at. It all sounds like hard work. If I'd wanted to work hard I'd have stayed in the day job.
Now, there's nothing wrong with wish-fulfillment. Who wouldn't want to be James Bond? Harry Potter? Bella Swan or Captain Jack Sparrow? Who wouldn't want the world to turn on their desires and demands, to be feted by the bad, mad and beautiful?
We, the dads of the world, have hearts of goo. We've put aside the wild parties, the crazy nights and the dancing till dawn for nappies, school runs and sorting out picnics. But we dream, oh how we DREAM! So, this is for the brothers in arms, those who slave away at their desks, bringing in the daily wage and slowly watching their lives unwind, but still look at their kids those moments and marvel at how lucky they are to have brought someone like that, so carefree and beautiful, into the world.
This is about the dads we'd want to be, in those midnight, quiet, honest moments.
1. Tony Soprano. Now I've only just got into this series which is, I know, several years after it's ended. But last night I went througha bit of a marathon up till late (or early) session of seven episodes of Series 1. Tony takes his daughter to visit the colleges she's applying to. They have a heart to heart about how he's in the mafia, and then, while she's having her interview, he detours off to strangle a man to death. It's rough, brutal, and hard work. A man could break a sweat killing like that. Not a gun, not a knife. But a thick piece of cable. Tony, a man who likes to get his hands dirty. And wants a better life for his kids.
2. Hank Moody out of Californication. You know what I said about writers having a dull life? Well Hank is twice the wish fulfillment in one package. A writer dad who does get the party life. Ridiculously gorgeous partner, cool daughter, dedicated agent (who has no other clients, so the perfect agent, are you listening, Sarah?) who's dreams are filled with naughty nuns. If I can't be Bruce Wayne, I'd trade a kidney for a day as Hank. Just checking, I can survive without a kidney, can't I?
3. Big Daddy. If you've seen Kick Ass I really don't need to explain this any further, do I?
4. Voldomort. Okay, he's not Harry's biological dad, but let's face it, James Potter was basically a sperm donor, it's Voldy who made Harry the hero he is. Before Voldomort Harry was merely Harry Potter. After Voldomort he was Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. Legendary status established. There's a whole lot of Oedipal stuff going on here, I might save that for another day, though.
5. Any discussion of bad, mad dads must include the dark father himself, Darth Vader. Kills his wife, tortures his daughter and dismembers his son. The family therapist will need to clear all other appointments on this one.
6. Captain Hook. Like Voldomort, he's not really a father (well he is acutally, see below), but he's critical for both Wendy and Peter Pan on all sorts of levels. Typically he's the same actor playing the Mr. Darling and Hook, and that's the fundamental truth to his, to a father's, dual nature. Pan is Hook, all grown up and no longer believing in fairies. Hook hates Pan as a reminder to what he's lost, and Pan hates Hook because that's who he's destined to be. Hook's crew of pirates are the Lost Boys, grown old, grown weary, grown out of the wild dreams and games of childhood. That's why both parties are so keen to have Wendy. Again, Oedipus looms large here. It's all about having mother.
7. Cameron Poe from Con Air. Ex-convict. Ex-Ranger. All he wants to do is get home, see his wife and his daughter. With a bunny. And no amount of bad guys are going to stop him. Testosterone overload. If I'd give up a kidney to be Hank, I'd give up a lung to be Cameron. EXTREME BAD-ASSNESS.

KIss Me, Kill Me, Part 9 with Joy Preble

2011-03-20T22:39:00.004Z

Guest Post by Joy Preble, author of Dreaming Anastasia.
We writers are cyber-stalkers of other writers and frankly, why else would we all be on Twitter?
So, I'd been monitoring Joy because she was cool. Why was she cool? Because she wrote about Baba Yaga. What more reason could you possibly need?
So, as luck would have it, I met Joy at Orlando and we talked, and talked and talked. All things Russian and everyting inbetween.
So, why do you need me waffling on? Here's the woman herself. Enjoy.

Amazingly, when I finished the first draft of what would eventually be titled Dreaming Anastasia, Baba Yaga was not a character. In that first version – which actually garnered me an agent! – Anastasia was in some sort of blue light mystical holding zone that Anne and Ethan accessed by discovering a secret portal in Chicago’s Art Institute. Yes, I know – portals? Waaaay over done. But I was a newbie. I’d loved that portal in season 2 of Angel went the gang went to Pylea and saved Fred and Cordy got to briefly become royalty…Excuses, excuses.
My agent put it this way: “You need to ground the magic in something organically Russian.” I don’t know if she had any idea beyond that; in fact, I know she didn’t. But that one sentence sparked an idea in me. I needed to dig into Russian folklore and fairy tales – cause that’s where I’d find magic. And I wanted something that would fit the strong woman vibe of the novel. And that in turn led me to Baba Yaga. (okay – I was sad about the portal thing for awhile. But eventually I got over it.)
After that, I started reading – and once I did, I was hooked. Baba Yaga was – is – amazing. This primal, unpredictable woman with many fluid identities all rolled into one: maiden, mother, crone. The Bone Mother, she is sometimes called. The essence of all womanhood, of life, really. She was the perfect figure for a story that was going to be about life and love and death and second chances, about the passions that compel us, form us, and sometimes, destroy us. I loved so much about the old girl – this ancient witch with iron teeth and removable hands who lived in a hut on chicken legs so she could outwit and outrun her enemies. Her forest was a place of transformation. Once you entered, you might come out alive, you might not, but either way, you would never be the same. It became one of the conceits for the novel – both Anastasia and Anne and ultimately the other characters as well, would have to travel to Baba Yaga’s forest. None of them would ever be the same again once that journey occurred. I even loved the way she traveled; Baba Yaga flies through the skies in a mortar, stirring the air with a pestle. The idea of grinding appealed to me greatly – that this witch would desire to metaphorically grind Anne down to the bone and see what would be left.
One of the classic Baba Yaga fairy tales became Anastasia’s story: the tale of Vasilisa the Brave. In the original tale, Vasilisa’s stepmother sends her to Baba Yaga’s forest to get light from the witch. It’s a little bit Cinderella, a little bit Hansel and Gretel. Of course, this is supposed to be a death sentence and Baba Yaga’s supposed to eat Vasilisa. But the girl’s real mother had given her a magic doll before she died. And the doll helps Vasilisa outwit the witch. In Dreaming Anastasia, Anastasia has the doll her mother gave her. And like the original story, the doll talks to Anastasia and helps her survive. Like in Dark Goddess, the doll becomes quite significant. Because I decided to use a matryoshka doll – as did you! (great minds and all that-Sarwat) – the nesting aspect becomes a metaphor for much of what occurs. As Baba Yaga says to Anne, “Stories within stories. Secrets within secrets.” So that bit of folklore combines with Baba Yaga herself.
My Baba Yaga does have a different backstory than yours (that'll be me, Sarwat, unless you, dear reader, are writing Baba Yaga to, which would be insanely cool, don't you think?), but I don’t want to give all that away quite yet. Let’s just say that it’s in keeping with the romance aspect of my fantasy. But like the Baba Yaga in Dark Goddess, my witch is unpredictable, upset at some of the things that have happened to her and around her, and has some secret plans…

Kiss Me, Kill Me, Part 8

2011-03-13T22:30:00.003Z

Heist Society by Ally Carter
Kat Bishop belongs to a family of thieves. Her great uncle Eddie is a legend in the field, her dad is wanted by Interpol for all the wrong reasons and her cousin, Gabrielle, is a long-legged con woman through and through.
Kat’s best, closest friend is Hale; he’s not one of the family and only became part of Kat’s inner circle when she tried to steal a painting of his. Hale is handsome, debonair, and extremely rich. Everything a girl would want, right?
Wrong. Kat doesn’t want to be in the family ‘business’. The book starts with her at a very exclusive private school, Colgan, which she’s promptly kicked out of. Of course she’s been set up, and it all kicks off from there.
This book is a caper. It’s cool, smart and flash. Kat and her team criss-cross the continents, there are scenes in Paris, Italy, London and Vegas.
It’s difficult to summarize the plot without giving too much away but basically we’ve got Arturo Taccone, a ruthless and thoroughly evil criminal. He collects paintings and has five, by Degas, Raphael, Renoir and Vermeer in his collection. In his very secure collection, in the heart of his fortress home. They have been stolen. By Kat’s father.
Taccone wants them back or else.
Kat’s father didn’t do it and it’s up to Kat to find the paintings, get them back to Taccone, and maybe teach him a lesson at the same time.
Do not mess with Kat Bishop.
Ally plays with all the conventions of the genre, like gathering the team of experts (Hale, Gabrielle, the twins Hamish and Angus and the spanner in the works, Nick), the plan and the double-cross. Fans of her Gallagher Girls series will love Kat just as much as Cammie and, as a Londoner myself, I really enjoyed the plan being centred around hitting a London museum, the Henley. A place that makes Fort Knox look like it’s got the security of a Seven Eleven.
There’s great team dynamics, and while Kat is reluctant to go back into the business, you certainly get the feeling she knows it’s her natural habitat. A lot of her internal conflict is centred around her not even knowing how to be straight. Her life has been built on lies and deception, it’s hard to know the truth, even about yourself.
So if you’re a fan of good people doing very bad things, then Heist Society will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
But before I kick off the Q&A with Ally I’d just like to thank the guys at Scotland Yard for making this interview happen. Ally’s not an easy person to find.
1. The most noticeable change between your Gallagher series and Kat’s is the swap from First Person (Cammie) to third person. There’s the hint of an unreliable narrator which works perfectly with this being a book about cons. Was this a decision you made because of the style of book, or for another reason?
Both. Definitely. Point of view was one of the first decisions I made and I knew it would be a crucial one. On one hand, it was born out of a fear that all of my first person thoughts and narrations would sound like Cammie from the Gallagher Girls and I didn’t want to take that risk. But then, once I considered the type of book it was, I realized that third person/semi-omniscient was really the only way to go because we couldn’t be in Kat’s head 100% of the time. We would have to see what the guards were doing or cut to other members of the crew. Really, I don’t know how I could tell a heist story from just one point of view.
2. You’ve built a great mythology around Kat’s world. I loved the concept of the sacred name, Visily Romani, and all the nicknames the team give to all the various cons, like Avon Lady and Trojan Horse. Was this something that came out of your research or something uniquely yours?
Again, the answer is probably both. All of the old, classic cons do have crazy names and that has become a staple of the genre as a result. The specific jobs I mention were made up. And the notion of the sacred name—well, that’s all me as well. But it’s something that, the more I read about these bands of thieves and conmen, made sense with what I’d learned of their world.
3. With Gallagher Girls being very much on the side of law and order (even if it’s a very shadowy side) and Kat’s people very much not, any plans for a cross-over? I’d pay big money to see Cammie and Kat try and outwit one another.
I get this question all the time, actually. And it’s a very flattering one. The short answer is: there are no plans to do that at this time. The longer answer is that that is something I’d love to play with but, logistically, I’m not sure how it would work. Point of view, situation—doing something that wouldn’t impede on the overall story arc of either series. Those are some of the practical worries. And I’m a painfully practical girl.
4. The book has a very cool, almost 1960’s feel to it. The cover has a string hint of Audrey Hepburn and the sixties were a period of great caper movies. What sort of style research did you put into Heist Society?
I think you’re giving me way too much credit! I didn’t actually think about the style that much, and I’m just the luckiest writer in the world to have the fantastic covers that Disney-Hyperion designs for me. Ultimately, with this book, I wanted to write something that was timeless—something that isn’t dripping with modern technology or lingo. Something that has a great leading lady and a charming leading man because those two things never go out of style.
I did watch a lot of heist movies from all eras—How to Steal a Million, The Sting, Topkapi, and The Italian Job and The Thomas Crowne Affair (both the originals and the remakes.) And I basically set out to tell that brand of story...but for the next generation.
5. Can you tell us about Kat’s next big adventure?
Uncommon Criminals is the sequel to Heist Society and, as with most sequels, I struggled to make sure that the reader gets enough of what they loved in the first book but with enough fresh material so that they feel like they—and the characters—are moving forward.
In this book, we learn that word of The Henley Job has spread and Kat has become something of a teenage “wonder thief”. She’s not that surprised when an old woman approaches her about stealing a very valuable, very famous, very cursed emerald. It’s the kind of job Kat would gladly walk away from except for the fact that the woman says Visily Romani sent her. That fact sends Kat on what is maybe her most interesting job yet.
I’m really proud of this one and can’t wait for readers to see it.

And so all good things must come to an end...

2011-03-12T16:53:00.004Z

Ah, the end of the tour. The end of posh hotels, of complimentary goldfish, of lobster meals, the pecan pie and leopard-print dressing gowns.
It's how we authors roll.
I cannot believe it's over. the last two weeks have been pure insanity. Freaking insanity. Where to begin?
With my film agent, Jerry, and our Hollywood VIP meeting? The awesomeness of school visits? The amazing bookstores?
No, I must begin with Rachel Hawkins, my tour-buddy in arms. The last tour was fun, but lonely. Travelling around the country is basically limited to visiting hotels and the events. You do not get to see much of the destinations themselves. Lost of evenings dining alone.
So, it was rather splendid to travel with someone like Rachel. I'd been told how funny she was. True. And how Southern. Also true. But we've had a blast from start to finish. We've seen the dangers of freaking on the dance floor, the deleriousness of 3.30am starts and endless flights and security checks and discovered what fun it is to do joint events. Ever tour should include a Rachel. And a goldfish. Having a goldfish in your bedroom just strikes me of Imperial decedance. No idea why.
I've had a chance to meet loads new people, my Greenhouse buddy Lindsey Leavitt, Aprilynne Pike, Joy Preble and of course the great bloggers and readers that have supported us from start to finish. The questions and anwsers sessions have been great, and I hope you now understand the dangers of reading stories like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty to your children. I've mentioned the librarians before but will do so again. They make readers. It's as simple as that. Given the current pressure libraries are under I feel we're in danger of losing immensely valuable people, and we're going to suffer for it in the long term, and suffer BIG TIME.
None of this would have happened without Dinsey-Hyperion, my publisher, and their team of media liasons. I'd still be lost at the airport if it wasn't for them. They link us up with the bookstore owners and make sure every store we go to is an event. Some of these stores are legendary. Murder by the Book, Hicklebee's, Third Place Books, Blue Willow, Copperfields, Square Books to name just a few. The owners LOVE what they do and they are characters worthy of the most outrageous fiction themselves (yes, I mean you, Jill).
I'm going to blog more extensively, once my brain has had a chance to filter all the madness out. This tour has been FUN. Those that attended, thank you for coming. Those that didn't, well, WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU? Honestly, the stuff you've missed.

I have the best fans EVAH!

2011-03-09T05:59:00.002Z

What's been brilliant about this tour is the chance to meet up with people I've only known through Twitter or FB or blogs.
This here is me with Ari, the brains behind Readung in Colour, an awesome blog that looks at the issues of ethnicity in YA and children's books. I'd corresponded with her over the last few months so it was incredibly cool to meet her in Chicago.
Now, I've written the first two Billi books (Devil's Kiss and Dark Goddess if you've been paying any attention). I'm DESPERATE to write Billi #3. OMG, I have such plans. We're talking about dark secrets, Assassins, betrayal and the true nature of the Oracles. In a way, the first two books were all part of foreshadowing the final twists for book 3. But there will only be a book 3 if sales improve. As simple as that. My publisher, Hyperion, have been splendid throughout. Hey, they've got me out here and teamed up with Rachel Hawkins to get the books out there. But there are a hell of a lot of books being publsihed in YA right now and sometimes the most splendid books can just get lost in the crowd. It would be a shame for that to happen to Billi before her story is complete.
And this is why I'm so touched that people like Ari, Stacey, Pam, Pat, ReadingTeen and so many others are doing there bit to save Billi SanGreal.
I'm incredibly flattered (and somewhat humbled) they're so enthusiastic in spreading the word to others so Billi may yet rise again.
Time and time again I come across the passion people feel for books and stories that is rare in other media. I've met with librarians who transform small school visits into huge events, booksellers that will give beginning authors the venues and support eqaul to any big name NYT bestseller. I've already mentioned the bloggers but will do so agin. I think a large part of the success of YA is down to support from all these different people. All unpaid and without real acknowledgement that they are crucial to getting our books out there.
I'm approaching the end of this tour and there may yet be a few surprises still to come, but I've enjoyed the last week and a half like nothing before. It's been great to meet a few familiar faces. It's been awesome travelling around the country with Rachel and it's been an education in seeing the enthusiasm everyone has for books and YA especially.

We came, we saw, we said 'Cheese!'

2011-03-05T16:36:00.002Z

It's half way through the epic US tour with my tour buddy, the elegant and very Southern Rachel Hawkins.
LA, Chicago, Memphis and now Texas. It's pretty intense and there's a risk of the mid-tour dip. We don't all have the tiger blood of Charlie Sheen. Us mere mortals get worn out.
Then we went to Pasadena High School.
OMG, it was a total riot! There was (almost) a riot (fire alarm actually, but hey, riot sounds more dramatic, don't you think?).
School visits are great. Especially when everyone in the audience has read your books and wants to get in deep. Secrets were spilled, that's for sure. The pupils and staff were exceedingly awesome and I explained why severed body parts should not be stored in your fridge. True story. Also, I've never been to a school where there were so many girls who looked exactly like how I imaged Billi, dusky, dark haired and dark-eyed. And those at Pasadena KNOW what I'm talking about.
The school events have been varied. We've had unicorns, y'know. A whole stampede through Hutchinson's.
How could the event be topped? I don't know but Blue Willow Books that evening came pretty damn close. Lots of great people (especially Mundie Mom Kathy, Joy Preble and mom for the fourth time Clare (your kids are so sweet!)) and splendid atmosphere.
Rachel's slowly teaching me how to speak like a southern gentleman. Y'all.
So, we're heading off to the legendary Murder by the Books this afternoon at 3pm, then flying to sunny Phoenix for an event at Changing Hands (Sun, 2pm).
All the details are up on my website events page!

Tour continues. And they brought pie!

2011-03-02T22:02:00.004Z

This is Stacey from PageTurnersBlog and we met yesterday at Anderson's bookstore in Naperville and she brought a (home-made) pecan pie, for me!
And jolly nice it was too. In fact, so nice I had it for breakfast.
This actually brings me to today's discussion. The bloggers. Not only did I meet Stacey, but Ari from Reading in Colour and Heidi and Jasmine (yabibliophile and the reading house wives blogs respectively).
I am in awe of their commitment and enthusiasm for the world of books and YA. Ari is frighteningly young and incredibly wise, well beyond her years, it's very very cool to have such people supporting your books. She totally should be president.
Rachel Hawkins and I went out for supper with a few of them afterwards and I sat there somewhat embarrassed by how much more knowledgeable they were about my industry than I was. And this is done out of love and passion, they don't get paid and frankly bookbuying is not a cheap hobby, especially nowadays.
I pick up a lot of my readung list by checking out what they're recommending, and they know their stuff. With the printed press only reviewing the big, established names, their's is really becoming the only way of finding out what's new. They review everyone, famous and not so famous.
So, to all the bloggers out there, I salute you. Keep up the incredible good works you do, we couldn't manage without you!

The tour begins! Hollywoodland

2011-02-28T12:29:00.004Z

My bodyclock is telling me it's lunchtime but the hotel clock says 4.30am. Uurgh.
So, arrived in LA yesterday and tried to get down to the Oscars, just to cheer on Christian Bale. Obviously my presence was just enough to tip the scales and HUZZAH! A well deserved Oscar, methinks.
Couple of things I try and do when abroad.
1. Walk about a bit. I love exploring cities by foot and, having looked at the map, thought I could stroll down to the Kodak Theatre and join the heaving crowds. But Hollywood Blvd is INCREDIBLY LONG so by the time I got there, everyone had gone in. By the time I got back I'd missed Christian's acceptance speech. Damn it! However, first impressions? I've never met such glamourous hotel staff. I'm assuming everyone here is an actor between jobs but the concierge of the hotel could have been a catwalk model and the guy at the desk was so good-looking thoughts of Christian momentarily vanished from my mind. Suffice it to say I decided to stay away from the hotel pool, given the six-packs on display.
Later today I meet some people (so will try and get some sleep in) then tonight I'm flying to Chicago which is like almost all the way back across the continent. Oh joy.
Really excited about finally meeting Rachel Hawkins. I'll find out if what they say aboout her is really true. I hope not. I feel terribly intimidated by talented writers.
The photo above is the venue for the Vanity Fair party, which is apparently THE post-Oscar party party to go to. It's the first time I've seen traffic attendents in ballgowns.
The plan is the blog will serve as a travel/tour diary of sorts and a way of monitoring sleep deprevation as we skip from time zone to time zone.
Next blog should be from Chicago.
Have a good (rest of the) night.

Would never have happened if I'd stayed in the day job

2011-02-23T21:36:00.008Z

Well, it wouldn't. No matter how good an engineer I was, no matter what I'd designed or built, I would not have got a meeting in Hollywood.
A few weeks ago I contacted my film agent. There's someone he'd like me to meet. This person is incredibly busy BUT since I was in the US, maybe, just maybe, a meeting could be arranged, if I was up to it.

Like I was going to say no.

So, since I have NOTHING ELSE TO ADD (that will hopefully be all post-meeting), we'll play the 'who'd you like to play Billi/Arthur/Kay etc' game.

Billi - well, first choice would have to be Leslie Conor, who's Billi on the book covers. Next would be Jessica, back when she was a brunette.

Arthur- Has to be James Purefoy. I know it should have gone to Christian Bale but James has been doing a lot of sword-work recently and, God-dammit, is playing a Templar in his next movie. Sorted.

Micheal- Aiden Turner from Being Human. Oh Lord, he's gorgeous and has a very definate dark side. Being Human, how TV should be.

Ivan- We're going for Ben Barnes. He was excellent in Dorian Gray, aristocratic, cruel and elegant. Perfect for my Russian prince.

Kay is a younger Paul Bettany. He's doing quite a lot of supernatural stuff right now and recently played the Archangel Michael in Legion.

Gwaine would be Michael Rooker, out of the Walking Dead. Grim, gritty, grey and a total nutter. We like.

It's become quite sureal, all this. I don't quite know what to make of it. I'm having breakfats and then think, 'Bloody hell, I'm going to Hollywood next week' but most of my energy is sorting out who's collecting the kids from school while I'm gone. However, I will be ironing my shirts, now that's something that happens all to rarely in this household.

The US tour with Rachel Hawkins begins next week. I'll keep you updated on the travels and tribulations throughout. If you're around, do pop by and say 'hello'. Bring pie if you can. And who knows, I may have something to announce while I'm there.

Oh, gosh, I DO have something else to announce! Just waiting on some people. It's all good, folks!

Kiss Me, Kill Me, Part 7 (what, already?)

2011-02-20T22:12:00.004Z

White Cat by Holly Black.
Gangsters. Gangsters with magical powers. It’s one of those ‘slap head and why didn’t anyone think of this before?’ sort of ideas.
White Cat is about the curse workers. It’s set in a world like ours but one where magic is established, well known and feared. Unlike a lot of paranormal fiction where all the magic stuff happens behind the scenes and the greater public live their daily lives completely ignorant of the vampires, werewolves and what-nots living amongst them here the magicians (curse workers) are a part of society, even if it’s the criminal part. It that sense White Cat is similar to Tru Blood, the vampire series about the vampire world attempts to integrate with the normal, mundane world.
Poor Cassel Sharpe. His mother and both his brothers are cruse workers. His mother can manipulate emotions, his brother Philip is able to inflict serious physical damage with the lightest touch and his other brother, Barron, can alter memories. Cassel’s grandfather was a death worker. You get the idea. Cassel is like the runt of the litter. The only non-worker in his family.
The set up is this. Workers are feared and mistrusted. Society has developed charms of protection and as workers can only do their work through the touch of their fingers everyone in society wears gloves. The practice of curse work is outlawed so it’s gone underground. It’s the criminal families that recruit and use curse workers, to be a worker is synonymous to being a member of the Mafia.
Cassel may not be a worker, but he’s every bit the criminal as the rest of his family. He’s a con-man. He’s always playing the angles. But he doesn’t realise the angles being played on him. White Cat is the slow unravelling of his life as he sees that he’s been the victim of a con far exceeding anything he’s played, and the story’s about his attempts to turn the tables on the other players.
Holly’s built a beautifully logical world. Australia has a higher percentage of workers because the original settlers were criminals. Prohibition of curse working in America brought on the rise and power of organised crime. Being a worker has its own risks, blowback, when you work some magic the magic works you too.
There are so many different types of curse worker. Death worker. Luck. Emotions. Memory and Transformation, the last the rarest and all but vanished. There are those trying to force workers to register and come out of hiding, there are those who fight for worker rights and stop the discrimination. There’s so much going on in the background that’s just as fascinating as Cassel’s own story.
Cassel’s a fascinating character and you certainly don’t envy his home life, every one of his family is trouble. He’s hiding his own dark secret, a murder he committed three years previously that his brothers covered up for him and it’s that murder that causes his life to fall apart in White Cat. Like the best gangster stories its about honour, betrayal, bloodshed and power.
After some trouble with her bodyguards I was able to get in touch with Holly Black. I must say, those Russian Mafia types have no sense of humour and I will be sending them my medical bill.

1. The world setting of White Cat is very elaborate. One of the clichés about urban fantasy is that despite events happening in the here and now, they never really affect the real world. White Cat’s very different. The workers are an integral part of society. People hire them for blessings, for beatings, to make sure business goes right for them or badly for their rivals. You establish that charms are very common since people need to defend themselves against being worked and everyone, but everyone, wears gloves. How much time and effort went into building the ground rules for your world?
H: First of all, thank you so much for your incredibly kind and thoughtful review. I am so glad you liked the book!
In answer to your question – I guess I spent quite a bit of time creating and tweaking the rules of the world. Because I had previously been writing books about faeries and had so much folklore to draw on, this was an opportunity to make up something very different. I wanted the magic to feel thematically tied to the crime element. And also, because the world is an “open fantasy” where everyone knows about magic, I wanted magic to impact the world. I think my favorite thing was figuring out that people wore gloves all the time – and then imagining the way that bare hands would become taboo.

2. One of the most fun aspects of Cassel is his elaborate cons, like trying to get the cat from the animal rescue. How much research did you do in this area?
H: Well, I am lucky to know lots of scammers, so that was helpful, especially in that scene. Also, I know some people who work in animal shelters, so I was able to talk over the scene with them.
I did a lot of research on cons in general and would heartily recommend a book called THE BIG CON. It breaks down the steps of many different classic cons and was invaluable. I also really loved a true crime book called SON OF A GRIFTER. Reading about a boy being brought up with an entirely different moral code (never go to the police; if you can steal it and don’t, you’re a sucker) was very instructive in thinking about Cassel.

3. There’s a very cool Russian vein running though this story. The lead gangster family is Russian, there’s a jewel said to have once belonged to Rasputin and the climax takes place in a restaurant called Koshchey, named after the fairy tale character. As a huge fan of Russian mythology I have to ask is this a theme through the books or are we going to see the more traditional Italian Mafia make an appearance?
H: Although we get to hear a little more about the Brennan family, the Zacharovs remain our primary connection to the world of organized crime in these books.

4. I love the idea of blowback. Can you tell us a bit about how this concept came about and what it is?
H: Thank you! Blowback is one of the ways that I limit the power of the curse magic in the books. Basically, a piece of each curse comes back at the person casting the curse. Every curse works the worker. To me, blowback feels like a natural consequence of magic, which is why I like it. I think magic should always have a cost.

5. Red Glove, the sequel, isn’t out for a while. Any minute clues you can give us? What have you planned for Cassel?
H: Without giving away too many spoilers for the first book, I think I can safely say that in RED GLOVE, Cassel has to decide what kind of person he wants to be. There are a lot of temptations in front of him – the biggest to do with love, all to do with power. As his grandfather tells him, “magic gives you lots of choices – most of them are bad.” He has to try and make the right choices.

Thanks to Holly for helping out on the KMKM tour. Phew, it's all feeling a little hectic. And there's still Melissa, Joy, Keirsten and Ally to come. If you've missed any, then click on the button somewhere on the right on this page. No, up a bit. Yes, there.
Okay, next Monday I will be in the US, touring around the wide open spaces, visiting schools and bookstores from California to Chicago and beyond! I will be the Robin to Rachel Hawkins' Batman, but that's because I've always thought I looked good in green shorts.
Hmm, I do have some additional stuff to tell you but forces beyond imaginings have told me to KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT. For now. Neveretheless, I can be bribed. If you do come along to any of the tour stops (see here), that would be great. If you bring pecan pie, that would be greater!

Do not try this at home!

2011-02-16T18:28:00.002Z

I love TV. I think we're entering a golden age of tv viewing. So many channels but, at last, something worth watching. In fact, I'd like to be buried with my dvd collection. It'll keep me busy 'till Judgement Day.
So, I'd like to take you through my current list of fav programmes.
1. Mad Men. If you follow me on Twitter you'll know everything stops for Mad Men. The glamour, the awesomely, ridiculously good lookin' cast, Roger's quips and the drip drip drip storytelling. It's why TV was invented.
2. The Walking Dead. The series open with our protagonist blowing away a small child. Don't worry, the kid's a zombie, but still, kind of reminds me of something I once wrote...
Plus, I love a guy who can handle an axe. Left foot forward, leading with the right hand. A classic move. Zombie problem solved. I'm sure Arthur will be sending Rick an invite to join the Templars pretty damn soon.
3. Entourage. A change of pace and style. Hedonistic, sharp and with a deep, deep current of anxiety and fear. It's about a bunch of hangers on and their lead guy, Vincent. Handsome, charming, pretty shallow and that's probably for the best. Cool cool cool.

Kiss Me, Kill Me Part 6 with Becca Fitzpatrick

2011-02-13T17:48:00.004Z

Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick
This book is all about desire. Nora Grey is sixteen, living in Coldwater, Maine and her best friend is Vee.
What you need to know about Nora. Her dad was murdered last year and she and her mum live in an old house, outside of the suburbs, and one that attracts fog and misty weather like those spooky old houses in Stephen King country should.
Oh, and one more thing, her new biology partner is a mysterious, gorgeous looking new guy called Patch.
Now I’m not revealing any big mysterious secret by telling you Patch is a fallen angel. It’s on the front cover (surely one of the most iconic covers in YA).
Which brings me back to desire.
Nora’s smart. She knows what’s she needs and what she wants. She needs to avoid Patch at all costs. But she wants him, oh Lord, she wants him.
No-one radiates sexual tension like this couple. Believe me that their feelings for one another could power a medium sized city in the Western world. The book’s less about the supernatural element (the angel reveal is way way towards the end) but the conflicting emotions of Nora, the endless circling between the two of them and the dreadful danger Patch and his world represent. What I love about Becca’s writing is she makes you believe. She makes you believe Nora can be forceful, can be independent, can be her own woman BUT Patch is irresistible. Throughout the entire book Nora’s smart, careful and wary, but Patch is a force of nature, and that’s why you cannot but help be caught in the whirlwind.
Vee, the best, friend, is hilarious. She’s quick, a bit foolish and at the mercy of her teen hormones, but she’s honest. She’s the voice of honesty, of base desire. She as some of the best lines and has a love of Christian Bale, which puts her on the top of my Christmas card list automatically.
Reading the book really made me remember being sixteen. It’s not that different for boys, I tell you. I can barely remember it but I remember who was hot. Tensions are raised, clothes come off. Encounters are, er, encountered.
My favourite scene is the motel room. All the little bits leading up to it are subtly done and then there’s the OMG, there seems to be no going back after this night. It must rank as one of the steamiest scenes in YA paranormal fiction. In fact, I needed a cold shower right afterwards, just to calm down.
That’s covered the romance bit, now to the paranormal.
Patch is a fallen angel who basically lusted after a mortal. The legend is taken from the apocryphal Book of Enoch (a book that never made it into the official Bible) and concerns angels that mated with mortal women and their offspring were the Nephilim. It’s the same book I used for the plot of Devil’s Kiss, though I will admit my fallen angels are nothing but heartless and cruel predators. There’s no internal conflict with them.
Patch wants to be human, and thereby hangs a tale. To do it he must kill Nora. That is the heart of Patch’s conflict. His need to be human is poignant and cruel, being based on being inhuman and having to kill, a fundamentally inhuman act. The tension with him makes Patch a truly amazing character, not some ‘just because he’s got a bike and muscles’ bad boy. He’s not a rebel without a cause. His cause is very, very serious. What would we do to be human? What defines us as human? I love this theme, Patch displays both the worst aspects of humanity, the need for love and the desire to be cruel. What other species has this problem? Seeing him stray between the two, sometimes in an instant, made me wonder how he could possible achieve his goal; it’s too alien to him. As an angel he chases something that he cannot be, not really. Mere biological function is the least aspect of being human.
So with things in mind (and a mental image of Christian Bale wearing a pair of black wings) lets move on with the interview!
1. Fallen angels are a powerful metaphor for our own inability to stay on the straight and narrow path. If the chosen of God can fail, how can humanity hope to remain ‘good’? We have this failure in Patch, his desire for mortal woman, and also Nora, time and time again she puts herself in danger by seeking Patch out. There were times I wanted to shake her and tell her to go find a nice boy, like Elliot (gosh, was I wrong about that!). I’d like to know your thoughts on the theme of temptation. It seems to be at the heart of Nora’s conflicting feelings for Patch.
First a disclaimer: I am terrible when it comes to identifying themes and symbolism and all that good stuff my English teachers tried to teach me, so feel free to laugh when you read the below! I think many creation-type stories, like Hush, Hush, explore the theme of temptation. It makes sense, since they all have roots in the story of Adam and Eve. We all know that good stories are made when a character desperately wants something (a bite of that forbidden apple!), but what happens when the very thing a character wants isn't good for them? Enter temptation. I can't say I had the theme of temptation at the back of my thoughts as I wrote Hush, Hush, but I will say that there was a very specific reason the book opens in a biology classroom. I wanted to explore the very primal, very biological, power of physical attraction. The sexual tension playing out on every page between Patch and Nora filled me with innumerable questions and ideas. Is desire purely physical? What causes two people to have instant chemistry? How do two people know if they can trust each other? What in our genetic makeup draws us to one person, and warns us to stay away from another? And what if it's the same person?
2. What sort of research into angels did you do for Hush, Hush? I’m especially interested in how you came to use The book of Enoch.
I always feel a little like I'm cheating when I give this answer, but I grew up attending Sunday School every week and hearing stories from the Bible. When I started writing Hush, Hush, it never occurred to me to go out and do serious research into angel mythology. I felt like I had a pretty good grasp of the angels that would be in my stories. Rather than make them like angels from the Bible, however, I wanted to make them more human. I wanted them capable of making the same mistakes we make. I wanted them to face the same challenges we face. As for the Book of Enoch, I learned about it in a World Religions class I took in college, and decided to throw it in for the heck of it. Yes, I'm the kind of writer who throws things and sees if they stick!
3. The murder of Kjirsten Halverson first appears to be an irrelevance, but ends up forming a fundamental part of the story. Like the best detective stories things can change on the smallest detail. Do you write organically, letting the story unfold as you write, or plot the entire story in detail first?
I finished the very first draft of Hush, Hush in 2003, and I think it's safe to say it was organic. It was also horrible. I've learned over the years that I write best when I have a plan. The version of Hush, Hush available today was definitely pre-plotted. For me, it's very difficult to write a suspense novel, where, as you said, every clue hinges on a bigger mystery, without knowing all of the clues beforehand.
4. Tell us a bit more about Nora and Vee’s relationship. The two work brilliantly, Nora the usual voice of reason and restraint and Vee being the ‘seize the moment’ kind of gal. You’d think they’d be ready to kill one another after even one day together.
I'll start by saying Vee is my absolute favorite character to write. I feel like I know her incredibly well, and I don't have to think hard when it comes to writing her lines of dialogue. She's very easy to work with (from an author standpoint). I based her character on a couple of my childhood friends, and I can get very nostalgic while writing any scene with Vee. That said, I think she's probably the most controversial character in the series. I can't tell you how many letters I get from readers saying, “I hate Vee and I hope she dies in the next book!”
5. With such a phenomenal start to your writing career, where do you want to go next?
You're making me blush, Sarwat! To be honest, I don’t feel like I deserve a fraction of the success I've had. I feel very, very lucky. I've had a few people ask me what it feels like to be an overnight success, but I don't think they realize it took me five years to sell Hush, Hush. During that time period, I accumulated 100 rejection letters. I'm well aware that there are better writers and better stories out there, but I try not to worry about that too much. I remind myself that I'm doing what I love, and I have loyal and truly wonderful readers. It motivates me to work hard and write the best stories I can. If I can continue to keep my readers engaged in my stories, I'll call it success!
6. One of the more fun parts of publishing is deciding who goes on the front cover. Was it difficult deciding and if I gave you my sister’s email address, could you ask Drew Doyon (the model on the cover) to contact her next time he’s in London?
I still remember my editor emailing over several head shots, and telling me I had 20 minutes to hurry up and choose the models who would portray Patch and Nora. It was terrifying! I'm not the kind of girl who can make up her mind fast. I mull things over to death. But in the end, I'm very happy with the models I chose. And last I heard, Drew is single...
Big thanks to Becca for joining in with this tour. Right, the next few weeks are going to be slightly chaotic, what with the US book tour and such. I've several new announcements to make and they'll be popping up over the next couple of weeks. The Kiss Me, Kill Me tour still has some way to go, with Holly Black, Ally Carter, Kiersten White, Joy Preble and Aprilynne Pike still to come. Should be a blast.

Introducing Ash Mistry

2011-02-09T11:39:00.004Z

I’ve been waiting for Ash for a long time. Maybe all my life.
I grew up reading myths about Greek heroes, about Vikings, Normans and Saracens, stories of Sinbad and King Arthur, and I’ve loved them all. But where were my heroes? My parents immigrated to England from the Indian Subcontinent and growing up in the 1970’s I had no heroes that I could call mine except Mowgli. The only Indian in children’s literature and he was over a hundred years old. Even Kim, Kipling’s other great child hero, is actually Irish.
I wanted heroes like me, but not labelled as ‘ethnic’. Ash is a bagger and tagger; he fights demons and is a plain and simple action hero. He’s not worried about having an arranged marriage or being in a Bollywood movie.
I was in my twenties before I came across the vast mythology of India and it blew me away. How could this stuff not be better known? Why weren’t kids reading about Rama, Arjuna, about demon-slaying Kali and flute-playing Krishna? The mythology of India is immense and current. It’s being celebrated today and yet we know so little. Why isn’t it as mainstream as any of the Greek or Norse legends?
I’d put the skills of Arjuna against Achilles any day of the week. The strength of Bhima against Hercules. The courage of Rama against that of Thor. (Even as I write this my Spellcheck is going mad. It doesn’t recognise the name ‘Arjuna’. Over one billion people consider Arjuna the world’s greatest hero).
But I didn’t have to be Scandinavian to enjoy tales of Vikings and I don’t believe you need to be Asian to enjoy tales of Rama and of Ash Mistry. Heroes are heroes and we love them where-ever they come from. It’s time we met some Indian ones.

Press Release from HarperCollins

2011-02-08T08:18:00.003Z

I've been biting my nails for a few weeks to be able to tell you this, so here it is at last.

News
HARPERCOLLINS ACQUIRE SARWAT CHADDA’S NEW KIND OF HERO
London, 07th February 2011
Nick Lake, Editorial Director, has won a hotly contested auction to bring the Ash Mistry Chronicles, a new series by Sarwat Chadda, to the HarperCollins list. The three-book deal, for UK & Commonwealth rights, was acquired by Nick from Sarah Davies at Greenhouse Literary.
Ash Mistry and the Savage Palace – the first book in the series – will launch in Spring 2012. An edge-of-your seat action adventure, it introduces a major new character for 9–12s, 14-year-old British-Indian Ashoka Mistry, better known as Ash.
Ash hates India. Which is a problem since his father has brought the whole family there to take up a dream job with the mysterious Lord Savage. But Ash immediately suspects something is very wrong with the eccentric millionaire. Soon, Ash finds himself in a desperate battle to stop Savage's masterplan – the opening of the Iron Gates that have kept Ravana, the demon king, at bay for four millennia...
Sarwat Chadda's first novel Devil’s Kiss was shortlisted for the Branford Boase First Novel Award. The Ash Mistry Chronicles is his first series for 9-12s. Like the protagonist of this new series, Sarwat came to the folktales of his parents’ culture late in life – vivid stories of heroes, demons and gods that totally blew him away. Now, he’s ready to bring those stories to a whole new generation
Commenting on the deal Nick Lake said, “Ash Mistry is a brilliant, gripping read, with an action-packed plot that starts in top gear and stays there, while taking the reader on a mind-expanding journey into contemporary and mythological India. Fans of Rick Riordan and Eoin Colfer will devour this awesomely entertaining book in a single sitting.”
Sarwat Chadda added, “Everyone's read the adventures of Hercules and Thor. But the vast mythology and history of the Indian sub-continent has been strangely neglected in children's fiction. Through Ash, a modern British-born Asian, I hope to immerse the reader in a world as magical and as thrilling as anything to come out of the more familiar Greek and Norse mythology. Heroes are heroes and we love them wherever they come from. It’s time we met some Indian ones...”

Note to Editors:
• HarperCollins UK publishes a wide range of books, from cutting-edge contemporary fiction, to block-busting thrillers, from fantasy literature and children’s books to enduring classics. It also publishes a great selection of non-fiction titles, including history, celebrity memoirs, biographies, popular science, dictionaries, maps, reference titles and education books, and its digital business is thriving. With nearly 200 years of history HarperCollins publishes some of the world’s foremost authors, from Nobel prizewinners to worldwide bestsellers. In addition it publishes the works of Agatha Christie, JRR Tolkien and CS Lewis. It was the first major UK trade publisher to go carbon neutral in December 2007.
• HarperCollins Children’s Books is one of the leading publishers of children’s books, recognised for nurturing new talent as well as boasting a reputable list of established best-selling authors. Respected worldwide for its tradition of publishing quality, award-winning books for young readers, HarperCollins is home to many children’s classics, including The Chronicles of Narnia, Noddy, the Paddington stories, The Cat in the Hat and The Tiger Who Came to Tea, and to some of the biggest names in children’s literature past and present, including J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S.Lewis, Dr. Seuss, Louise Rennison, Darren Shan, Judith Kerr and former Children’s Laureate Michael Morpurgo.
• HC UK and International is responsible for the UK and Ireland, India, Australia and New Zealand and is a division of HarperCollins Publishers, one of the leading English-language book publishers in the world. HarperCollins Publishers is a wholly-owned division of News Corporation, the media conglomerate and parent of Times Newspapers Ltd, British Sky Broadcasting and Twentieth Century Fox.

Kiss Me, Kill Me, Part 5 with Brenna Yovanoff

2011-02-06T18:56:00.006Z

The Replacement by Brenna Yovanoff
The first thing I must say is the US cover, the macabre, wood-framed pram with the knife, scissors and other iron implements suspended above it like some murderous mobile absolutely NAILS IT. While the UK cover is great in its own way, a picture of Mackie, the US has all the dread and hints of the secrets trapped within the town of Gentry.
Okay, let’s get this out of the way now, it’s a faerie story. Normally this would be enough for me to close the cover and move on, with talk of courts and Unseelie this and whatnots, but Brenna never uses the f-word in her book and her myth takes it all in a brand new direction.
We all know the tales of changelings, children kidnapped by the faery folk and replaced with one of their own. We all know about their aversion to iron. We know about the gifts left on the doorsteps and the iron horseshoes put on the doors to protect the inhabitants. All these iconic themes are in place, but...but...
The people of Gentry KNOW. This is not some world where the public are blissfully unaware about the magic around them. They know their children are taken. They know one night their child will be gone and instead there’ll be a monster in the crib.
And they do nothing.
The metaphor for the silent acceptance of evil, no matter how it’s disguised, is the most powerful aspect of this amazing book. The code of silence. You just don’t talk about the bad things, lest you attract more evil to your door.
The story is about Mackie, a boy who knows he’s one of them, and of Tate, a girl who doesn’t mourn her sister’s death, because she knows the thing that died is one of the replacements. Tate kicks the entire story off by her loud and public refusal to accept the status quo. She knows Mackie is one of them and drags him, against his own wishes, into confronting the darkness at the heart of Gentry and the truth about himself.
This scene is late in the book and I hope won’t spoil it for you, but it chills the blood when you think about what it really means. This is what Gentry is.

Her smile was cold. She could have been made of wax or porcelain like a doll, but her eyes were wicked and bright.
“The ones who are sincere leave. The others sink their roots in this quiet town and wring their hands and bemoan the loss of their children, and all the while, they take their payment, and they keep the town and they feed it, just like they’ve always done.”

There are no easy ways out. Mackie knows he belongs to another world, the house of Mayhem, and it’s both beautiful and terrifying. It’s ruled by the Morrigan and occupied by the dead, sacrificed children whose blood, literally, binds the pact between the creatures of the underworld and the people of Gentry.
Brenna is one of the Merry Sisters of Fate along with Maggie Stiefvater and Tessa Gratton and we share a marvellous agent, Sarah Davies. Fortunately that meant I could call in favours and get some time with her to delve deeper into her world.

1. It’s interesting to find a female writer writing from a male perspective, especially in this genre. As someone who’s asked this A LOT, how easy was it writing from the viewpoint of the opposite sex?
Well, I have to say that at first it was hard, but only because I was thinking about it in the wrong way. I was trying to make Mackie sound like some imaginary generic teenage boy, and not like a true, specific person who just sounded like himself. Once I started thinking of him as an individual, the point of view became clear and the voice was much, much easier.

2. The relationship of Tate and Mackie is dynamic and takes a long time to develop. I love the fact it comes slowly (the story starts with Mackie being interested is someone else entirely), built brick by brick on dependency and mutual trust rather than an instantaneous spark of mutual desire. Was this something that just came out of the writing or were you purposely trying to avoid the ‘sparks over the classroom’ cliché?
I don't know that I consciously decided to avoid instant attraction, but yeah, it is definitely not there. I really think the slow build was something that evolved out of the characters. Both of them—but particularly Tate—are guarded to say the least. While Tate is far more outspoken than Mackie, she's just not the sort of person who would dive headlong into an emotional relationship, even though she has no qualms about putting herself in physical danger. Everything kind of had to happen on her timeline.

3. The House of Mayhem is an incredibly vivid setting, the entrance through the slag heap, the slowly encroaching waters and the inhabitants, the discarded dead. Where did it come from? What were your inspirations?
Zombie movies. Yes, really. I have a longstanding affection for zombies and grew up watching way too much bad horror. I'm also embarrassingly distrustful of water and I wanted to write about someplace where all my favorite scary things exist unchecked—a place where the inhabitants are faced with weird, creepy conditions and they just have to live there anyway and make the best of it.

4. Despite Mackie’s alien nature he’s got people who love him, I’m talking mainly about Emma, his sister, and Roswell. Emma’s devotion to her replacement brother is extremely moving, her speech to him in Chapter 28 had me in tears! Tell us a bit more about her and Roswell.
Of all the primary characters in The Replacement, Emma and Roswell are unusual because, to put it simply, they've never been hurt. They were both very interesting to me right from the first draft because they don't really doubt themselves (at least where we can see it). I really enjoyed writing both of them, because it's kind of refreshing to deal with people who are so secure in themselves and in their decisions. They are never apologetic or ashamed of feeling affection.

5. What’s next? Any more tales from Gentry or something new?
While I wouldn't go so far as to say there will never be another Gentry book, there's nothing on the agenda just yet. The book I'm working on right now is another standalone—about demons this time. It's called The Space Between, involves danger, moral ambiguity, and kissing, and will be coming out this fall from Razorbill/Penguin Group in the US and Simon & Schuster in the UK. Thanks so much for having me, Sarwat!

My pleasure, Brenna! Gosh, that's quite a few on the Kiss Me, Kill Me tour so far. Hit the button in the right somewhere if you want to check out words of wisdom from Maggie Stiefvater, Cindy Pon, Rachel Hawkins and Carrie Ryan.
Next Monday is Valentine's Day, so I've an interview with Becca Fitzpatrick, author of Hush, Hush, Crescendo and Silence. Fallen angels. You've got to love 'em.
Oh, I've an IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT to make on Tues, here on this blog. The fate of the free world may depend on you being here to read it. You have been warned.

Kiss Me, Kill Me, Part 4 with Carrie Ryan

2011-01-30T20:47:00.005Z

The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan
Zombies. They’re the monsters of the day, it seems. You can’t stroll down the street without some shambling horde following after you demanding ‘brains, brains, BRAINS!’. Why zombies? Why now? What does it all mean? Is it some zeitgeist statement of the world we live in, one of mindless desire, of purposeless hunger, of the infection that spreads the inanities of modern, meaningless existence, the realisation we are just shuffling along this mortal coil driven by no higher purpose than the need to feed?
No idea. Zombies are cool.
Now, the one thing about zombies are they’re there to be made fun of. Okay, they are scary, but they’re slow, simple and frankly, repetitive. The fright factor’s gone.
Welcome to the Forest of Hands and Teeth and the world of the Unconsecrated.
It’s a world no bigger than a village, surrounded by a fence, surrounded by a forest, surrounded by a world with nothing but zombies. Their moans drift eternally through the branches of the trees. They endlessly search the fence for the flesh beyond. There is nothing else.
Except, perhaps, the legend of an ocean.
Mary has grown up with such stories, of the vast water, the endless openness of the sea and sky. The freedom of such a place without fences, without the forest.
It is bleak. I fact I would consider this one of the bleakest books I’ve ever read. Mary’s world is one from the Dark Ages, all the glories and wisdom of our world of science and knowledge has been left far far behind and long forgotten. It is a world where the Sisterhood rule with an iron, inflexible will and to defy them is to risk being abandoned beyond the fence and amongst the Unconsecrated.
But Mary is convinced that something exists beyond the village, she doesn’t believe they are the last humans on Earth, the chosen of God.
Then Gabrielle arrives. Mary sees, trapped within the Cathedral, a girl in red. An Outsider. She discovers in that instance, that there is more to the world than the village, than the Cathedral, the Forest of Hands and Teeth.
The story is a quest, in the truest sense of the word. It’s about Mary’s search for freedom from the world she was born, and trapped, within. But to break free of her society takes huge courage and will involve pain, suffering and hard lessons.
Carrie weaves within Mary’s story the lives of her closest loved ones. Brother Jed, Cass her best friend. Harry and Travis, brothers who tear Mary’s heart apart. The one she desires and the one she needs. Together with a young boy, Jacob, they flee their village when it is over-run, and must make their way towards a new world, the village of Gabrielle and to the ocean, if it exists.
Carrie’s world-building is second-to-none. The Sisterhood could easily be the bad guys but, given the trouble the world’s in (hey, zombies), you can completely understand their fear in making sure everyone toes the party line. I even caught myself (more than once) thinking, ‘Mary, you’re being selfish! Just listen to Sister Tabitha!’ There can be no weak links in society when it’s on the very brink of destruction.
Complex, chilling and tense to the nth degree The Forest of Hands and Teeth is a novel that gives no easy answers and neat, ‘tied with a bow’ endings.
So, without further ado, let’s find out what’s going on within that big brain of Carrie’s (brains, brains, BRAINS! Sorry, had to put that last one in).

1. Most zombie novels are somewhat (recent) post-apocalyptic world while yours is firmly early medieval. Technology has long gone, the Church controls all aspects of life and duties are very much split along gender lines. Can you tell us a bit about how you came to decide this setting?
Ever since I saw my first zombie movie in law school I’ve been obsessed with how we (individually and as a society) would survive a zombie outbreak. Most books and movies focus on the immediate aftermath but I was fascinated with what would happen long after that: when zombies weren’t the new scary monster but were a part of everyday life and had been for several generations. So Mary’s world is actually the future: about 150-200 years after the Return (the zombie apocalypse and I’m purposefully vague about when that takes place but it’s in the near future). But when I started to sort through the realities of a post-zombie world, I realized how quickly society would regress, especially if you removed books and the ability to create a collective memory. Suddenly, the only information available is what’s passed down orally and while many cultures in the past have had fantastic oral traditions, our current society isn’t really trained for that -- we rely on books and computers and the internet.
Whenever I’m talking to readers who live near the coast of the US they usually laugh at the idea that a whole village could forget about the ocean and then I ask them to name the Great Lakes. Only about 5% of the readers I talk to (who don’t live near them) can name all five Great Lakes and I use that to prove how easily information is lost. Besides, if you were facing the zombie horde and passing down stories to the next generation, would you remember to say “Oh and there are these lakes really far away and here are their names just in case you need to know.” And even if you did, would that next generation remember them all and also pass them down?
A ton of information would be lost (how much do each of us know about our great-grandparents? Already memory is fallible and porous.).
As for the aspect of religion, that came naturally to the setting (the village was created by nuns who’d been nursing infected soldiers fighting the zombies in the Forest after the Return). First of all, I thought it would be natural that a village like that would spring up around a defining aspect such as religious conviction but second of all I wanted to show the strain between a governing body that withheld information and knowledge as a means of control and through that control protect the people and how in the end that takes away people’s right to make their own informed decisions about their lives (more on that in the next question).
And you’re definitely right about how much of the village is split along gender lines, I did intend to make it a matriarchic society -- in the end, the women have the power.

2. Mary’s conflict is between her desire for freedom and her duties towards the greater community, her village and society in general. This theme is central to the book and made me think about Billi, my own heroine, who makes the opposite choice to Mary and chooses to forgo individual freedom for the good of the group. Did you ever feel Mary was in the wrong, especially when she goes so strongly against everyone? She says ‘her life is not her own’ but is anyone’s?
This is one of the exact questions I wanted readers to ask themselves. I do think that at times Mary is selfish but I also recognize that in that world often being selfish is what keeps you alive. Mary’s entire village is selfish because they close themselves off from the rest of the world (withholding their resources) in order to keep themselves safe. I think one of the issues I tried to raise is that Mary was never given the true choice between individual and community because so much information was withheld from her. In part, I think this often mirrors our world where it’s easier for those in charge (from parents to governments) to hold back information hoping that we’ll make the decision they want because we’re not informed otherwise. Many times this leads people to make stupid uniformed decisions with lasting consequences.
Is this the right course of action? Some people think yes and others think no. I don’t know if that if Mary and those who came before had been told more about their situation if they’d have chosen a different path. There are times when she does put her own self interest aside for that of the community and times she doesn’t (I’m wary of being specific because of spoilers).
I do think that it was Mary’s quick thinking that often kept her group of friends alive and it’s too easy to discount the agency of those around her (i.e. to think that Mary caused what happened to them -- everyone in the book had their own choices to make).
More than anything, I didn’t want anything in the book to be too simple. It’s not so easy to say “the Sisterhood lied and therefore are evil” because they did so out of love and a fierce desire to protect their charges.

3. Tell us a bit more about the two men in Mary’s life, Harry and Travis. Travis starts off the desire-able one, Mary’s passion for him is only second to her need for the ocean but as the story progresses we begin to see the leadership qualities of Harry. How did the two brothers develop? Was this something you planned from the start or something that grew organically?
I think the love triangle was both a little bit of both something that I planned and that I grew organically. My theory on love triangles is that while it may appear it’s as simple as a heroine (or hero) choosing between two love interests that it’s really about the heroine figuring out who she is and each love interest reflecting a different part of her.
I wanted both Harry and Travis to be wholly viable options -- one represents a calm stability, a very comfortable life, and the other represents a more reckless passion and uncertainty. It’s then up to Mary to decide who she is: is she someone who wants a calm and comfortable life or is she someone who would embrace passion even if it potentially comes with great risks? Once she figures out who she is, it’s easy for her to figure out which love interest bets fits with that part of her.
It was really important that this not be an easy decision for her -- I remember watching the movie Sweet Home Alabama several years ago and I felt like that was one of the first times I ever noticed that a real love triangle should involve a real decision, it shouldn’t be so lopsided because then it’s just a trope.
At the same time, I also wanted to develop Harry and Travis’s relationship -- the camaraderie and competition between them. They’re both trying to do what they think is best for the other and at the same time getting in each other’s way. Sibling relationships can be so complicated!

4. Tell us some more about your zombie love. Any other books or films you’d recommend?
I still sometimes find it very odd to be such a huge zombie fan since I hadn’t even thought about zombies until I was in law school and my husband somehow convinced me to go see Dawn of the Dead. But now I’m pretty much a fanatic! And I feel so lucky that zombies have experienced a recent upswing in popularity because I love seeing it all! I think one of my favourite zombie books is Max Brooks’ World War Z -- just really amazingly thought out and told. I’m also a huge fan of The Walking Dead -- both the graphic novel and the TV series based on it. What I love about that series is that Robert Kirkman’s original intent was just to explore a post-zombie-apocalypse world, not have a set and clear arc like most books and movies. That whole premise utterly fascinates me! As for movies, you can’t go wrong with the one that started it all -- Night of the Living Dead -- and I also love Shaun of the Dead because it perfectly mixes happy and sad. And of course I like the remake of Dawn of the Dead just because that’s the one that started it all for me!
A big thanks to Carrie for joining in with this series. Remember, if you want to check out who else has been on this already, just click the 'Kiss Me, Kill Me' box somewhere on the right hand side of this blog. BTW, if you've enjoyed this series so far, do feel free to link and retweet, I won't charge you.
Next week I will be posting Part 5 of the series, Brenna Yovanoff, author of the wonderfully creepy The Replacement. Soon after will be Becca Fitzpatrick, Holly Black, Melissa de la Cruz and oh so many great authors and their awesome books.

Tainted Love

2011-01-27T09:47:00.005Z

Not only one of the greatest songs of all time but today's subject.

Paranormal romance. Isn't it all about tainted love?

But is any love truly pure? Isn't it all 'tainted' one way or another?

Now I'm not an expert on this topic, after all I've still not read Twilight (but did enjoy the movies and am Team Victoria all the way!) but since I am part of the genre (at least, on the very edge of it) I suppose I must have some opinion. But hey, you can have an opinion on many things without knowing anything about them, can't you?

I've recently interviewed Becca Fitzpatrick, author of the rather splendid HUSH, HUSH and CRESCENDO. You'll hear about that interview soon enough. The two main characters are Patch (fallen angel) and Nora (normal teen). Nora's torn between the deep attraction she feels towards Patch and her fear of him. There are disturbing acts of violence, her house is broken into and her best friend assaulted. All the signs are it's Patch. Nora's not stupid. She's a quick-witted and clever young woman and not so naive. But Patch is irresistible. And, my God, does he know it. He can invade her mind, twist her senses, make her doubt her sanity. But like a knife through it all is their mutual attraction, despite the very real dangers.
There's a tainted love at the heart of Maggie Steifvater's SHIVER, between werewolf Sam and Grace. Sam's not the archetype bad boy, he's actually very kind, loving and truly dedicated to Grace. But this is his last summer before he turns into a wolf, once and forever. His curse tainted everything, adds a desperate melancholy to their love, knowing it's going to end by winter and there's nothing they can do about it.

Anthony and Cleopatra, Romeo and Juliet, Othello. Shakespeare knew all about tainted love. We have conflicting ambitions, family vendettas and jealousy. You cannot be human without tainted love. You think perhaps the love between parent and child is pure, without flaw. Er, what about Cronos? What about Oedipus? What about Electra? A child cannot grow to adulthood without the parent's death. Our children are there to replace us. Some seek that moment sooner than nature intended. And the parents, older, wiser, more cunning, can fight back.

Tainted love is at the heart of my books. The conflicting urge to love and destroy. Look at Arthur and Billi's relationship. A father bringing up his daughter to be a killer. Maybe his killer. Billi and Mike. Two damaged children who are driven to extremes because they never decided their own fates. They are both pawns in the plans of their fathers. No wonder they understand each other so well. No wonder Billi makes some serious mistakes.

Then we have Kay, who, I'd argue, is the purest of them all. His love is not blind, but his feelings towards Billi are tainted, though with the best of intentions. And he pays the price.

Dark Goddess develops Billi's relationships in two directions. The first is her feelings towards a young girl, Vasilisa, who is being trained as a Templar. Just like Billi was, recruited into the order at a young age and given no choice.

Then she meets the Russian prince, Ivan Alexeivich Romanov. Both of them are born leaders, and born warriors. There's mutual respect, and rivalry. There's distrust. Both are willing to sacrifice the other for the cause. Billi's been betrayed before and is wary of it happening again. Ivan knows he's got assassins lurking in every shadow, is Billi just another one? Waiting for his guard to drop?

Tainted Love.

Kiss Me, Kill Me part 3 with Rachel Hawkins

2011-01-23T14:50:00.008Z

Hex Hall by Rachel Hawkins
Really, I have had enough. Angsty vampires, brooding werewolves, mysterious fae and alluring, wise witches. It’s all gotten so dark, hasn’t it? Are we really in love with so much misery?
Frankly, I blame advertising. When I was a lad the biggest advert was a cheery crowd up on a hill wanting to buy the world a Coke. Fun, smily, beautiful people in a world of sunshine. But that was before they invented diabetes.
To quote the great man with the clown face, “Why so serious?”
Yes, yes, yes. I know my stories are as grim and the grimmest brothers Grimm living in Grimland, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the odd jolly jape as much as the next man. So Thank the great gods of the netherworld for Hex Hall. And Rachel Hawkins.
Hex Hall is a school for delinquent supernaturals (Prodigium). Our heroine, Sophie Mercer, a witch who means well but results badly, has been sent there after a love spell went way way too well. She makes friends with the local hot and crushworthy Archer Cross, makes enemies of a trio of supermodel dark witches, and teams up with Jenna, the one and only vampire student at Hex Hall. Who promptly goes on a killing rampage. Apparently.
Mix up a cult of religious fanatics descended from the Knights Templar (HELL YES!) and Sophie’s great-grandmother’s ghost and you have a high school experience like no other. Except my school was EXACTLY like that. Exactly like that.
The best way to give you a flavour is by teasing you with this extract.

There was the soft snick of a match being lit, and a small pool of light illuminated the figure.
Elodie.
She was wearing purple silk pajamas, a black candle cradled in her hands. Two other candles blazed to life and I saw Chaston and Anna, also pajama-clad, standing behind Elodie.
“Sophie Mercer’” Elodie intoned, “we have come to induct you into out sisterhood. Say the five words to begin the ritual.”
I blinked at her. “Are you freaking kidding me?”

Yes, Hex Hall has a lot of lines like that. It doesn’t take itself too seriously and is just plain old fashioned funny. Like books used to be.
I was lucky enough to track Rachel down, and whilst sipping a cup of Earl Grey tea, asked her a few pertinent questions.
1. I love that Sophie’s half-English. Any plans to send her over here? There’s a very nice tea shop near Fortnum and Masons I could take her to. So, is it true that Brits make the best wizards?
It’s very true, you are a Wizardy People, you Brits! And yes, Sophie WILL be going ‘cross the pond in the 2nd Hex Hall book, DEMONGLASS. I went to the UK when I was about 20, and I totally fell in love with all Boys With Cute Accents, and Places In Which To Drink Beer. Wait, I mean with the rich cultural history, and old buildings, and fascinating museums, and...did I say history already? Anyway, when it came time to write DEMONGLASS, I knew I wanted to send Sophie to England, and the majority of the book takes place in one of those big, ancestral country manors I’m told you all have.
2. L’Occhio di Dio, better known as the Eye. If I have one complaint about Hex Hall us how you’ve portrayed a bunch of knife-wielding religious fundamentalists as the bad guys. They’re descended from the Knights Templar! What’s not to love?
Look, I dig a hot dude in black, running around with a sword in his hand and righteousness in his heart as much as the next gal. I WILL say that there may be more to the Eye than meets... um...the eye. Still, even you have to admit their propensity for carving young girls hearts out MIGHT have something to do with the whole being seen as villains thing.
3. Obviously the ‘vampires who love pink’ market has been sadly neglected for too many years, so hooray for Jenna! Any other twisted facts about Jenna you’d care to share? What are her musical tastes? I’m suspecting she’d not into that whole goth thing.
It’s my firm belief that Jenna participated in a beauty pageant or two back in the day, and she probably had QUITE the Barbie collection (but no Kens, obviously. Barbie+Midge 4-eva!) As for her musical tastes, I think she definitely listens to Ani DiFranco and probably some Florence+The Machine. However, her musical guilty pleasure? Girls Aloud. (Who, I must add with shame, are also MY musical guilty pleasure.)
4. The story starts off pretty light, but gets darker as it progresses until by the end you’re having to read it with a very bright and shiny torch. Sophie’s lied to, betrayed more than once and several of her school chums don’t make it to the end of term. How have these events changed Sophie and what clues can you give us about Hex 2, Demonglass?
First off, I love that y’all say “torch” for “flashlight.” It makes me picture legions of British children, hiding under their covers with flaming sticks held aloft.  And yes, the events of Hex Hall definitely change Sophie going into Demonglass. She’s a little tougher now, and a whole lot more suspicious of everyone’s motivations. However, girlfriend has in no way lost her sense of humour! (There *cough* may be a Twilight joke or two. Allegedly.) Some things you can expect from Demonglass include fire, Surprise Betrothals, swords, references to Chuck E. Cheese, kissing, and Tons of Stuff Blowing Up.
5. I've saved the most serious question until last. One, actually, two, of the things that struck me about Sophie where the constant references to the size of her breasts. Now we all know, as writers, you never put anything in a book unless it's going to be relevant later on. For those not familiar with the term it's called 'foreshadowing' and means if you put a gun on the mantlepiece at the beginning of the story, then, by heck, someone needs to have gone all Tarantino with it before the end. So, can we discuss Sophie's breasts, in a grown up not-giggling at all manner? Are they the source of her supernatural might? Are dark witches better endowed? What about dark warlocks? In what area are they, shall we say, larger than normal? What I'm asking does the size of a warlock's wand matter?
Stop sniggering at the back. We can see you.
Well, Sarwat, I think there is little doubt that Boobs=Magic. That's just science. HOWEVER, what you may not know (and I am probably violating many tenets of the Lady Code by revealing this) is that there is an ACTUAL algorithm detailing just how breast size relates to superpowers. Created in 1844 by Ada Lovelace, this complex equation is one of the most closely guardedsecrets of womanhood, so I obviously cannot reveal it to you. Of course, my cover story is that I made Sophie bountiful of chest because I was a little tired of reading about all the flat-chested chicks in YA. Life is no picnic for the well-endowed teen girls, either!
Sadly, you have seen through my ruse, so yes, Sophie's magnificent bosom is IN FACT related to her bad-ass magical powers. Unfortunately for warlocks, superpowers do NOT equal increased junkitude, mostly because, as I think we can all agree, Lady Lumps>>>> Boy Parts.
There you have it. Kind of makes me wonder about Hermione and if Sophie could take her in a battle. Fairly likely given the difference in their, well, you know, cup sizes. Now for those of you who've been paying the slighest bit of attention will know that this is not over, not by a long shot. I will be teaming up, joining forces, dueting and all together getting into a dynamic duo with Rachel as we'll be touring around the US together in March! An entire continent, at our feet.

The 1980's were GREAT!

2011-01-19T18:44:00.004Z

This is writing related, I promise. Okay, actually, it's not, at all. But if you were born pre-1975, I hope this may give you a pleasant trip down memory lane. If, however, you were born after 1975, and don't have older siblings, I can only pity you, so read on and find out what you missed.

I think the moment you get into music defines you. That era will have a profound effect. It's the first time you step onto the dance floor, enter the Darwinian arena that is the disco and take part in the unconcious mating rituals so prevalent in the animal kingdom and transplanted with all its show and pomp under the glittering disco-ball.

I remember the near homicidal RAGE when my friend Clive got to do the slow dance with Suzanne (the girl in the year above me who'd failed her Chemistry so was retaking hence in our after school swot club and our first and only date was her and four of my friends going to see Revenge of the Nerds which, frankly, is not a chick flick and then there was the fight over who would sit next to her but nothing happened and she drove us all home, one by one because she was, after all, a year older and could drive). Oh, and apparently he also got a snog out of another girl I really fancied, which I feel he did on purpose just to wind me up. Needless to say he came to a bad end and now lives in Australia, surfing and sailing each weekend. Serves him right.

I learnt to dance to Frankie Goes to Hollywood, which explains a lot. But first there was the AWFUL two-step that all us geeks fumble through. What is it about dancing and people who are good at maths? THEN I went to Imperial College of Science and Technology which is GEEK CENTRAL and the discos there were filled with anxious, spotty lanky teenage boys all vaguely dancing around the ONE girl in the department, who, ineviatably, would then go out with one of the cool guys from the neighbouring Royal College of Art.

Eventually some form of free-style dancing developed, but antropologists would still be able to place in firmly in the mid-80's dance culture.

I remember my first nightclub visit. I ended up having a nose-bleed in the toilets. No, not because I'd got into some fight because I was hitting on some girl (as if), I just got a random nosebleed.

My other big passion (which led me here, actually) was playing Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I know. What part about me being a geek didn't you get? My favourite character was Nemesis, the Paladin. Really, it is as boring as it sounds.

However, that's when I first started writing. So when someone asks me how long I've been writing and I say 'Oh, about thirty years', that tends to put them off on the idea of becoming writers. It's been a loong road. But so worth it.

But what mattered most in the 80s, about being that age, was the passion, the thrill and the excitement of being a teen. That never changes. I think a lot of us who write children's fiction and YA is because we remember that age so vividly. It was a blast. Could have done without the acne, though.

Kiss Me, Kill Me, Part 2 with Cindy Pon

2011-01-16T23:27:00.009Z

Silver Phoenix by Cindy Pon
Elves. Wizards. Brawny barbarians, noble knights and hobbits. Orcs too. Yes, yes. We’ve read that one, dozens of times. Yawn.
What gets me about most fantasy fiction is, well, the lack of fantasy in it. Each time I see a map, some dodgy runes, and names like ‘Olaf the Mighty, barbarian of the Northern Wastes’ I put the book down and read something else.
I know we all owe a great debt of gratitude to Tolkien but do we really have to rewrite Lord of the Rings over and over again?
Which brings me neatly to Silver Phoenix. I am ashamed to admit it’s the first Chinese fantasy book I’ve ever read, but it’s opened up a whole new truly fantastical world to me. We have kung fu warriors, immense celestial dragons, isles of immortals and Ai Ling, teen heroine with a destiny that has haunted her through the ages. Most fantasy heroes have some sense of predestination, but Ai Ling’s is presented in a unique way. No finding a ring in the caves for her but something decided since her spirit lingered in the lands of the dead.
The book’s a quest, but set in a mythical Chinese world called Xia. Ai Ling has been promised in marriage to someone truly horrible so flees, to search for her father who’s been summoned to the Emperor’s court and never returned. On her adventures she meets two brothers trained in martial arts, Cheng Yong (on a quest of his own) and Li Rong, face demon seductresses, journey to the land of the gods and rescue a goddess to reach the Imperial court and discover that an immortal sorcerer, Zhong Ye, is behind all her troubles, and all is not quite what it seems...
The book is full of exotic, alien beauty from the customs, to the clothes, and especially, the food. You’re totally immersed in a fantasy world that, for the first time in AGES, really does feel fantastical.
Ai Ling, the heroine, has her special powers, but it’s her determination that’s the best thing about her. She’s independent, but not arrogantly so, she needs help and gives it too. All the main characters get their moments to shine, Cheng Yong is very, very cool and I’m really hoping Book 2 (Fury of the Phoenix) will explore more of his past.
There was so much I want to tell you about this book, and fortunately I have here Cindy Pon, the author, to help me. Oh the wonders of modern technology...

1. In the West we’re brought up reading Greek, Norse, Celtic and Egyptian mythology. Even with my Asian background I wasn’t that familiar with Eastern mythology until I was well into my twenties, it’s just not that common over here in the UK. Tell us a bit about your own background and how you came to write a fantasy based in mythic China.
Sarwat, I was exactly the same! I grew up in the US learning about western mythology and loving them--especially Greek. I knew a few of the folklore tales tied with holidays in Chinese traditions, but my family isn't one of storytellers. So I didn't know anything beyond that. It wasn't until I decided to write Silver Phoenix that I researched more within Chinese folklore and incorporated it into my first novel.
2. The book’s fairly open on the subject of sex, with Ai Ling’s marriage preparations, a potential rape scene and her final encounter with Zhong Lee. Fantasy novels are somewhat notorious for their chasteness. Did you worry that some readers might find it too explicit?
Is it terrible to say I don't worry about readers at all when I'm writing? I try to remain as true to the storyline and the characters, and leave the editing to my editor. I didn't realize how forthright I was about the subject of sex until ari at blackteensread2.blogspot.com asked the same during an interview. In Xia, a girl's place was to make babies when she came of age. There was no dancing around it, and for me to do so as an author would have rendered the story inauthentic. And when I did edit with my editor, all those scenes stayed.
3. Food. Your book is full of details of every meal Ai Ling takes. Blimey, my stomach rumbles just thinking about it! What’s your favourite meal? Burger?
Burger! Snorts! It'd definitely have to be Chinese or Taiwanese. Noodles are a favorite and so are dumplings. I love minced pork with rice, xiao long bao, chow mien, mapo tofu, stinky tofu--Chinese food is so varied and delicious. I would die without rice after a few days. Ha!
4. Ai Ling goes way off the map when she ends up in the one-armed world of the three-eyed Archer and the Anatomist. Where on Earth did THAT idea come from!?!
Those lands were inspired by A Chinese Besitary: Strange Creatures from the Guideways Through Mountains and Seas. It is an ancient text thousands of years old that the average Chinese probably would not have heard of or read. It detailed many different lands, people, gods, plant life, creatures and beasts. One couldn't help but be inspired reading it!
5. Much of Ai Ling’s problems arise from the gender politics of her world. She’s expected to be an obedient daughter, marry whom she’s told to, not allowed to travel alone and viewed as a possession rather than a human being. Given this remains true for far too many women even now, how much of this is taken from, say, ancient China, and how much of this was created for your setting?
I tried to stay true to cultural expectations of women in Chinese society from centuries past. At the same time, I left out the practice of foot binding because it would have rendered the story I wanted to write impossible. I always say that my story is Asian-American influenced. Because that is my background and thought and experiences, and what contributes to my stories and writing.
6. Book 2, Fury of the Phoenix, is due out soon. What can we expect from Ai Ling and do we see Chen Yong again?
Yes! Fury of the Phoenix will be out on March 29 this year. I call it a pre-sequel. There will be two storylines: Ai Ling and Chen Yong six months after Silver Phoenix ends, and Silver Phoenix and Zhong Ye three centuries before. I'm very proud of my sequel, I hope you enjoy it when you read it, Sarwat! Thanks so much for featuring me and my books here. I'm reading Dark Goddess now and loving it!
There you go, she's reading Dark Goddess and loving it. So if it's good enough for Cindy, then it's good enough for you.
There's still plenty of awesomeness to come and what's more, along with Becca, Holly, Brenna, Joy et al (see, I'm now on first names with all these people. See Sarwat name drop.) we've also got Kiersten White, author of the spendidly splendid Paranormalcy on board. Huzzah!

Introducing Billi SanGreal

2011-01-13T23:17:00.004Z

Okay, some of you will have already met Billi, but this is for those in the US who have as yet not had the opportunity to meet her in Dark Goddess, since it comes out on the 25th.
For those of you unfamiliar (sign, there are such people in the world) with Billi, let me give you a few details.
1. She's fifteen and has had a unique unbringing. Her home-schooling program includes swordfighting, unarmed combat and occult lore.
2. Her favourite things are her 160GB Classic iPod, hanging out with friends, and kicking Unholy ass. She specializes in fallen angels and werewolves.
3. You do not want to be romantically involved with her. She has a fatal effect on boyfriends.
4. She will be taking ass-kicking to whole new levels in Dark Goddess.
5. In the new book she meets a Russian prince, Ivan Alexeivich Romanov (who should have paid more attention to item 3).
6. Her father, Arthur, was tried for the murder of Billi's mother. He's an ex-Royal Marine and just this side of psycho. He falls under the title of 'Very Bad Parent Indeed'. He's the one mortal the Devil himself fears.
7. Billi's a lot like her father.
Devil's Kiss was set in London, my home city. It was the perfect setting for the first book, grim, ancient, gothic. But I didn't want to repeat myself in book 2 so the action moves to Russia, to Moscow. Now that's a damn awesome city in it's own right. Very different to London, which is a walkable city. Moscow is MASSIVE. Monolithic and gloriously imperial. If Devil's Kiss was urban fantasy, Dark Goddess is my dark fairy tale. It's my Red Riding Hood myth. That's why Billi wars the red on the cover. She's the red the wolves should be afraid of.
Now, don't believe it's all about swordfighting and extreme violence! I have to tell you about the new boy in Billi's life, Tsarevich Ivan Alexeivich Romanov. Grey-eyed, elegant, cultured and extremely deadly he's heir to the Romanov throne and an exceptional warrior in his own right. Billi and he could do great things, if they don't kill one another first.
I'm madly excited about Dark Goddess. Billi's a changed girl from Devil's Kiss and her relationships in a mess, she's torn up by what happened, by what she did. But the stakes are higher than ever. An ancient evil has awoken, a goddess that has been feared by mankind since he lived in the caves. I'll tell you about her later...

Department 19 by Will Hill

2011-01-11T21:58:00.007Z

A secret organisation dedicated to fighting supernatural evil. A teen hero discovering their part in the midnight war and learning to kick ass. Vampires, the old school version in all their throat-ripping, crimson-washed glory. These are a few of my favourite things.

Welcome to Department 19.

Will Hill's premise for his new book is simple. What if Bram Stoker's Dracula was not fiction, but Van Helsing's memoir? What if the heroes of that book, Dr. Seward, Jonathan Harker and Arthur Holmwood had, along with Van Helsing, set up a secret department within the British government dedicated to fighting the vampire menace?

And now, a hundred years later, the most powerful vampires in the world make their move...

It's a bit of a 'slap the head' moment. Vampires are immortal. Their minds work in the timescales of decades, centuries even. Setting things in place that may only pay-off a hundred years from now. Absolutely fantastic. Pure evil, genuis intellect with a patience only an immortal could have. More of my favourite things.

Jamie Carpenter is sixteen and has just been recruited into the department. He discovers the following:

1. His father was one of the Department's top field agents.

2. His father was the Department's biggest traitor.

3. The most powerful vampires in the world, three brothers turned by Dracula himself, want him. And not in a good way.

4. Said vampires hold his mother hostage.

5. His dad's best friend and his guardian angel is Frankenstein's monster.

Well, enough to spoil most people's day, don't you think?

The book centres around Jamie, but there are crucial glimpses of the past including a New Year's Day unmasking that would make even Richard Dawkins turn to religion.

Department 19 is high tech and gloriously so. UV bombs, stealth helicopters and the awesome T-bone, a gas-propelled stake launcher. I so want one for Christmas. Can I, Dad? Can I?

There's so much I want to say about this book. It's incredibly well researched. The references, historical, political, geographical and mythical are spot on. We have walk-on parts from Gladstone, Bram Stoker himself aswell as the key players from Dracula. There's a labyrinth of names and I understand from the author he's put in a lot of time assembling vast family trees and backstory. It shows.

Jamie's a likeable and believable hero who rises up to the challenge to prove himself to the doubters and clear his family name. There's something brilliantly naive about him, but he's no fool.

My only two concerns are these:

1. Larrisa, the homicidal vampire girl, doesn't get as much page-time as she should. She's a critical part of the story but only comes into her own well over half-way through. What's great is it's clear Jamie fancies her (and doesn't she know it) but she is a HOMICIDAL VAMPIRE. What part of that don't you get? For once, it's a vampire romance with 'doomed' written all over it. Mainly in Jamie's arterial blood. I suspect she'll be more involved in Book 2.

2. It ends on a nerve screaming cliff-hanger. OMG, I so want to tell you about it now. You have to wait 12 months before you find out what happens next. Some might find that BLOODY INFURIATING. I suppose all I'll do is re-read it just when Book 2 comes out next Jan.

The book comes out in March and closer to that time I hope to do a Q&A with Mr. Hill. However, in the meantime I have a little treat for you. I have a copy to give away. It's an ARC, but I think it's more beautiful than the final version (though that will be hardback and this is paperback) because the front cover just has the graphics on the front, no title, no author's name. Pure awesomeness.

The competition is open to all and all you need to do is comment below and include the words 'we wants in, my precious!' or something similar.

BTW, before I forget, I have another announcement. The winner of the Chainsaw Gang's '12 Deaths of Christmas' competition is Gwen Thomas. Huzzah for Gwen. She'll be getting a whole bundle of signed books shortly.

Also, before I forget and BTW, I have another author of awesomeness joining the 'Kiss Me, Kill Me' series. Will announce she shortly. Blimey, that's 12 of them now.

Kiss Me, Kill Me, Part 1 with Maggie Stiefvater

2011-01-09T17:53:00.010Z

I know, I know. You think you’ve slipped into some alternative universe and into one where a Sarwat Chadda is a fan of para-normal romance and you’re looking outside the window for the skies to be filled with red clouds and the statues to be weeping blood or whatever they do when the Apocalypse has finally arrived.
Fear not, this is not the first sign of the Apocalypse (which is, as we all know, due next Tuesday about 3.30 GMT) but my first ever review of a love story!
Over the next twelve Mondays I will will be delving DEEP into the paranormal genre. I'll be reviewing and interviewing the great, the good, the mad and the bad of the YA paranormal fiction. It's not just romance, I assure you. There'll be a grand prize draw at the end and the goodies will make you blush. So, we'll kick off with...
SHIVER by Maggie Stiefvater
Openings. Oh how a book lives or dies with its opening chapter. As you may know I like my openings to have a certain ... intensity.
How about a small girl dragged from her swing by a pack of werewolves?
That, we like.
Move forward a bunch of years and we’re in the company of Grace living in Mercy Falls with her parents (no orphans yet, which is nice) and hanging out with her friends Olivia and Rachel. She’s that bookworm in the corner, good student, a bit quiet and obsessed by the yellow-eyed wolf that watches her over the winter, the yellow-eyed wolf that protected her when she was a child, dragged from the swings by the rest of the pack.
Then the attacks start. School bully Jack Culpeper is killed, his body vanishes, the locals organise a wolf hunt and the hunt leaves a bleeding, naked boy, yellow-eyed, on Grace’s porch. Sam.
There’s none of that ‘is he or isn’t he’, we know, Grace knows, he’s a werewolf.
They are destined for each other. They’ve watched each other with silent yearning for years, and now they’re together. The end? All’s well and we’re listening for the wedding bells? No. And this is where the story takes a major turn for the worst. Werewolves change with the seasons. As the temperature drops the beast comes out. It’s getting colder and the change is coming. Once Sam turns, that’s it. This is his last year as a human. One by one, they all become wolves, forever. Just as love has come, the winter snows will take it away.
The falling temperature adds an unbearable intensity to the page turning. Each chapter headlines with the day’s temperature and day by day, it drops.
Winter is creeping nearer and Sam will be gone.
Needless to say there’s far more but what’s best about Shiver is the truth of Grace and Sam. Sam’s not some clichéd ‘bad-boy’, he’s sweet, loyal, sincere but with a very damaged past (the reveal about the parents is shocking, but sadly believable. People destroy what they don’t understand), trying to make one last human contact before he becomes a never-changing wolf. As a bloke who writes action I really believed in Sam for his goodness, for his better angels and his struggle. The book is split between Grace’s viewpoint and Sam’s, both are equally strong and support each other.
Grace has a family, a caring mother and father, but is neglected in her own way. The story about her being forgotten in the car demonstrates that neglect (not conscious, you always believe the parents do love her, but in a vague way), and includes an important clue for other reasons.
Beck, Jack, Isabel and Olivia work well as secondary characters. Especially Jack and Isabel, the brother and sister who start off as the bad guys but reveal a depth and strength that lesser writers would not have bothered with. The fate of Olivia is brilliantly set up and I wish I could reveal more. Suffice it to say you will care about the second string and the fate of all of them. No-one is set up as a clichéd ‘best friend’ or ‘school-bitch’ or ‘wise mentor’.
Final note is the beauty of Maggie’s writing. It has a slow elegance to it that lingers in the mind. It’s like watching snow melting on a sunny day. Crisp, melancholy, sparkling in many colours.
But hey, why take just my word? I was pretty lucky to cross paths with Maggie in November and as one werewolf fan to another, there were a hundred and one things I wanted to ask her, but the queue was long and the security tight. But with (dare I say it?) a wolf-like tenacity, I’ve chased her down and managed to grab a few answers off her. So, friends, lycanthropes and all other manner of beasties, please put your paws together for the one and only Maggie Stievater!

1. Lets get the obvious question out of the way. Why werewolves?
It was an accident. Actually, it sort of was. I’m a big fan of the idea that when you write about magic, you’re actually writing about something else, and I always thought that the metaphor that traditional werewolves stand for was outdated. Traditionally, werewolves stand for giving yourself over to the brutal beast inside you, with all the violent and carnal desires that entails. Well, Americans do that pretty much every day, so where’s the fear in that? So I never thought I’d write about werewolves. But I had decided I really wanted to write a bittersweet novel for teens, and then I had a dream about wolves -- simply wolves, not men with excessive chest hair -- and I thought, okay, this is possible. If the metaphor is instead that you will lose your identity, your humanness, the things that make you unique . . . well, now, that is something that Americans are afraid of.

2. Sam’s brilliant and a fantastic change from the clichéd ‘bad-boy’ of the genre. It would have been so easy to make him scary, brooding, misunderstood and dangerous, but you focus on his sincerity, his honour and his loyalty. Tell us what you think of Sam.
Well, thanks. I made Sam Sam for two reasons. First of all, if the big conflict of the story is that the character is going to lose his humanness, he better be a damn fine human for you to care. We have to think that the world stands to lose a lot if he disappears. So I wanted him to be genuine and interested in the things that make humans great: poetry, music, opposable thumbs, quiche. And then the other thing was that I wanted readers to really believe that without that whole werewolf thing, he and Grace really stood a shot of being together. And while fiery bad boys in leather pants are all fun and games, I don’t think, in real life, that anyone can picture the fiery bad boy doing a load of laundry or remembering your birthday. I wanted him to be just a really nice guy. I went out of my way to describe him as being less than edibly handsome, too. Grace finds him cute, but that doesn’t mean everyone would.

3. I’m all for strong heroines and what I love about Grace is that she’s clearly Sam’s equal and (emotionally) the stronger. What helped me believe in her was that she knows she’s obsessed with wolves, Olivia even takes her up on it, but that obsession grew for when she was attacked as a child. That first scene really sets the ambience of the entire book. I’d love to know how that Chapter 1 came about.
Remember that dream about the wolves? I’ll confess that the first line of the book is from the dream. Possibly because I watch too many movies, my dreams tend to be pretty cinematic, especially when I’m in the midst of brain-storming, which I was that day. And the wolf dream opened with the line: “I remember lying in the snow, surrounded by wolves . . .” with Grace’s voice (which, by the way, is eerily similar in the audiobook of Shiver). Initially SHIVER was a short story, and that first scene formed the bulk of it. I needed to establish Grace’s relationship with the wolves and make Sam sympathetic at the same time, as well as setting the mood. It changed surprisingly little when I converted it to a novel.

4. I’m interested in the parental units in this book. Both Sam and Grace have parents that fail them. Grace’s parents are a sort of ‘caring neglect’, they’ve got their own lives and just expect Grace to get on, even though Grace’s dad does almost kill her with that neglect, while Sam’s are more than violent towards him. Then you’ve got Beck, Sam’s seemingly perfect werewolf mentor (who nevertheless has his own dirty secrets). Can you tell us a bit more about the part this neglect played in Grace and Sam’s lives?
Well, I’m a big believer in the idea that your parents form a large part of who you are as a person -- either you become them or you run away from who they are. I needed for Grace to be super independent, and there were a few different ways to do that, but I decided to go with her neglectful parents after one of my early school visits. I didn’t go to traditional high school (I was home-schooled from sixth grade on), so one of my stipulations in my early days was that I got to follow a student around for the school day. Well, at this particular school, I was blown away by how the students were miniature adults: their parents gave them cell phones, lap tops, a car, kissed them goodbye in the morning (if that) and then said “see you whenever you get back.” And then the parents had completely separate social lives. So I knew I wanted to talk about that sort of well-meaning neglect and what it would do to someone down the line. And then Beck . . . one of the things I wanted to explore was how, when we grow up, we stop seeing our parents as the idols that we regarded them as when we were children. We start to see their flaws and their secrets and see that they, too, are human, and it can be searing and disappointing and agonizing. I wanted to play with that in Sam/ Beck’s relationship. And his awful real parents? Belief is hard, and illness is terrifying, especially when it’s unexplained.

5. The final chapter completes the story perfectly. Part of me worries that, given its perfect ending, how could you move the tale on without betraying the end of Shiver? Was a series always part of the plan or something that came along later?
Initially I thought I could fit everything I wanted to do into Shiver, but as I came close to the end, I realized I had left a lot of stones unturned. I asked Scholastic if I could do a sequel, and then, as I started to plot that out, I realized I really needed three to do the character development justice. The hard part was balancing plot and character development in LINGER -- I needed the characters to be much stronger in order to take on what happens in FOREVER, and I was very much hoping that readers would be interested in watching that journey to get there. Thank goodness they still like me.

6. Can you tell us a little from where you intend to go from here?
You mean, post werewolves? I’m just finishing a standalone paranormal novel that’s coming out just after FOREVER. It’s bloodier, and more action-y, but there’s still some kissing as well. The tone is entirely different from anything I’ve done before and I’m simultaneously nervous as hell and so excited I could pee about it.
And on that slightly damp note I'd like to thank Maggie for taking part and kicking off the tour. There's much, much more all about Mercy Falls and Maggie here on her website. You will not believe how many foreign editions there are of her book! Practically every one on the planet should have a copy of her book by the end of the year.

Next Monday the 'Kiss Me, Kill Me' series will be turning to all things Chinese with my mate Cindy Pon. There'll be dragons, immortal sorcerors, martial arts and a brand new heroine on the block, Ai Ling.

The Rachel and Sarwat EPIC US tour!

2011-01-07T23:27:00.006Z

Back to America. As of Monday 28th Feb I'm on tour around the vast and glorious US of A. Again. I know I've done it before but I missed a few bits, okay?

Obviously the publishers don't trust me to be able to manage on my own, so I'll be on these epic travails with Rachel Hawkins, legendary author of Hex Hall and Demonglass!

We'll be teaming up on events, doing schools together and no doubt fighting over who has the window seat. When I discovered I was joining forces with her, I did ask around, you know, to be sure her personal habits were compatible with mine.

My word, she has some fans. They called here 'funny, witty and amazing'. Which is very different from how I've been described ('danger to world peace' I think was one of the printable phrases). It puts me under a lot of pressure. Gosh, it's a challenge to get matching socks on in the mornings let alone manage to be 'witty and funny and amazing'. I'm kind of feeling a bit like Robin to Rachel's Batman. I get to wear the green pants. Not a cool look for me.

I'm hoping my British accent will make up for any personality flaws.

"But where, Sarwat," I hear you cry. "Where will you be? We'd love to meet our favourite author and have our books signed. It would be quite nice to meet you too, we suppose."

Seven flights in 12 days. It will be rather insane and tremendous.

Mon 28th Feb- Arrive in Chicago.

Tues 1st March- Anderson's Bookshop, Naperville.

Weds 2nd- Fly to Memphis to do an event at Davis-Kidd bookstore.

Thurs 3rd- Off to Oxford, Mississippi. Event will be at Square Books Jr.

Fri 4th- Fly off to Houston and at Blue Willow bookstore in the evening. Hope for some peccan pie while I'm there.

Sat 5th March- Still in Texas. More Peccan pie. Off to Murder by the Book bookstore (where I did my FIRST EVER event in 2009. Excellent!)

Sun 6th March- To Phoenix! To Changing Hands bookstore!!

Mon 7th- Barnes and Noble in Phoenix (TBC)

Tues 8th- Fly to Oakland, California. Learn to surf. Then off to Copperfield's bookstore.

Weds 9th- At Kepler's bookstore in Menlo Park, CA.

Thurs 10th- If it's Thurs, it must be San Jose! We'll be at Hicklebee's. We'll save a seat for you.

Fri 11th To Seattle and appear at Third Place Books. Get my sister that Nirvana teeshirt.

Sat 11th Still in Seattle, bookstore TBC. Then stumble onto the plane and fly home.

Sun 12th -collapse on the sofa and sleep for three days.

I'll update this on my website when I've got all the times, but safe to assume they'll be evening-ish.

There'll be school visits in amongst those, but if you are in the neighbourhood, please come and say hello! I've a feeling I've had more than my share of US trips now and I'm not sure when I'll be back next. So this is my chance to meet EVERYONE. If you don't come, how will I remember your birthday?

THE 'KISS ME, KILL ME' HIT LIST

2011-01-05T10:19:00.007Z

Gosh, there's a lot of paranormal romance out on the shelves, isn't there? Most of it is now tottering on my desk too.

Okay, I'm half-way through the run down of the 'Kiss Me, Kill Me' blog series and now for the other helpful chums who've offered to spill the beans on all things that go bump and 'aargh!" and perhaps sigh seductively in the night.

My one totally sad fan-boy moment was when I met Holly Black back in Orlando. I must admit, she was part of my 'research' when I was trying to break into writing. I read Tithe back in the day, trying to work out what it was that made writing just work. After all, the best way to break into something is just follow the best, and try to do what they do.

So, to cut a long story short, when I did meet her, I was all a bit gibbering. She didn't seem to mind me snatching her own copy of Black Cat out of her hands (I think I gave her my bookmark in exchange), then getting her to sign it. She's obviously forgiven me and will be one of the superstars who'll be taking part in the tour, right here.

Oh, on the subject of superstars, have you heard of Becca Fitzpatrick? Oh, a few. Marvellous! Becca will be dropping by as well to discuss exactly what it is about angels that make us 'squee'. Yes, they are bloody beautiful books and I, for one, was jolly glad that she was there making angels radioactively HOT. And it's not because I have a fallen angel in my book too. Okay, it might be.

On the subject of favourite monsters, lets talk about werewolves. Werewolves of Mercy Falls. Maggie Stiefvater writes werewolves. She writes them very well. They are brutal, loyal, savage and full of longing. When I decided to do my 'catch up' on the para-norm rom genre, I started with Maggie. I am converted. I'll be picking her brain on Monday. I promise to clean up afterwards.

Gosh, do we need a break from all this supernatural stuff? What about the other heroines, bad-boys and badder girls? Oh, yes. Like spies and supercrooks.

I am still trying to get my two girls into the Gallagher Academy. Foreign languages, kick-boxing, encryption and personal grooming. The perfect education for the modern girl! Ally Carter, the author-in-awesomeness behind Gallagher and Heist Society will be advising us all on how to make sure that, if you are breaking into a highly armed foreign embassy surrounded by machine-gun carrying goons, what accessories go best with a bullet-proof vest and if you can really garrote someone with a pearl necklace. Not that I've tried. Well, not recently.

As you may know, Dark Goddess (my new book, are you paying ANY attention?) is inspired by my love of Russian mythology. So it was quite natural I should team up with Joy Preble, author of Dreaming Anastasia and the soon to be released Haunted, stories centred around the doomed Russian princess. They also include Baba Yaga herself! For an old girl, that witch goes get around, doesn't she? I feel all books should contain at least one reference to Baba Yaga. So, Joy and I will chat about what it is that makes the Russia myths so appealing.

And then we have Silver Phoenix. I've never read a book like it. Set in mythical China it's about a teenage heroine, Ai Ling, and her adventures in a fantasy world quite unlike any you've ever read. The author, the glamourous Cindy Pon, will be here, telling us all about it and why, if you can't have Baba Yaga in your book, The Lady in White is a pretty awesome alternative.

Now, to finish, I have a moral tale for you. So sit up straight. There will be times in your life when, unbeknownst to you, you will cross paths with someone who, in the future, will ROCK THE WORLD. It's kind of like meeting JK Rowlings when she was still an Edinburgh housewife and she handed you a copy of a signed first edition Harry Potter and but you didn't have the right change or the queue was too long. My story's a bit like that. Back in BEA 2009 I was busy signing copies of Devil's Kiss when some strange woman with a strange name asked me to sign a copy for her. We chatted, we laughed (mainly about her name), shook hands and off she went. She'd just written a book too but I think my luggage allowance was too high already or something stupid like that but basically I didn't get a copy of hers in return. Which is a damn shame since it turned out to be Wings and debut at 1# in the NYT a few months later.

Suffice it to say I hold onto ALL my signed copies nowadays.

Aprilynne Pike is the final addition to the tour and I'm immensely happy that she's taking part. I bet everyone knows how to spell Aprilynne now.

Brenna Yovanoff. Carrie Ryan. Cindy Pon. Rachel Hawkins. Maggie Stiefvater. Melissa de la Cruz. Ally Carter. Holly Black. Joy Preble and Becca Fitzpatrick. Aprilynne Pike. They'll all be taking part in the 'Kiss Me, Kill Me' series, right here.

Frankly if one of your favourite authors ISN'T on the list above, well you're completely in the wrong place, aren't you?

It all kicks off on Monday 10th January with Maggie Stiefvater.

'Kiss Me, Kill Me' UPDATE!

2011-01-03T22:02:00.007Z

Well, Dark Goddess is imminent in the US. I'm hoping this may be of some interest to a few of you beyond my immediate family.

A large box of advanced copies of the hardback has arrived in all it's shiny glory and there I am wondering 'yes, well I don't need ALL of them, do I?' though (can I admit this, what the hell, I bet everyone does this) I have a copy of each different version of my books up on the shelf, including spare copies in Polish (if anyone's interested). Is that vain? I kinda wonder if JK Rowlings has, like, a whole library of Harry Potters ranging from translations in Aremenian to Zulu to, er, American to Zimbabwean.

Maybe it's just me.

Where was I? Oh yes. Kissing and killing. Two of my favourite activities, except the killing one, obviously (which, actually, even if I had done, I wouldn't admit, would I? Though given how few people visit the website, who would notice? Except maybe Homeland Security in which case, I'd like to explicitly state I have never done any of the later and frankly not much of the former).
'Oh, for Heavens sake, Sarwat, wasn't the "quit rambling" one of your New Year's Resolutions?'.

No, it wasn't, so stop being a smart alec.

However, what WAS a New Year's Resolution was to embrace* the following YA authors at this here blog:
So, starting THIS Friday 7th Jan 2011 and running EVERY Friday for the next ten, I will be reviewing and interviewing the shining gods of all things YA and paranormal! I guarantee you have their books on your bookshelf and if you don't you will damn soon!

What have I got? Well want to you want?
Yes, yes, VAMPIRES. What a surprise. I know about that already. Then let me tempt you bloody little beasties with Bluebloods, courtesy of the glamourous Melissa de la Cruz. I met Melissa in Orlando as part of the Hyperion posse and she has very kindly taken time out of her busy life of writing, poolside meetings and Hollywood parties to discuss why high fashion and bloodletting go naturally together.

Oh, did someone say ZOMBIES? You there, behind the boy with the sticking-out ears. Well, the BEST zombie book out there right now is The Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan, isn't it? Well it's damn lucky Carrie a mate of mine. See, I knows famous people. Carrie will be enlightening us with the hungry dead and telling us on what makes her world so uniquely terrifying.

WITCHES? I have witches for you. Rachel Hawkins has written Hex Hall, a home for deliquent spellcasters (and vampires, faeries, ghosts and werewolves too). Creepy, hilarious and spooky, all in equal measure Rachel will explain how bust size is a measure of supernatural power. Like I didn't know that already.

Seriously, is this not fan-boy/girl enough?

Gosh, some people or never happy.

Faeries. Yes, I said faeries. We cater to all tastes. I have a soft spot for faeries, but if they're done properly. That means crib-robbing, cursing and terrorizing the foolish mortals that don't play by their rules. Like they do in a town called Gentry. Brenna Yovanoff's first book, The Replacement (yes, the one with the creepy pram cover) is already a New York Times bestseller. Good thing then she owes me a favour, isn't it?

I think I will leave it there, for now. There are a few more authors who subscribe to the 'Kiss Me, Kill Me' philosophy, and I'll tell you about them later. Suffice to say it will include kick-ass heroines, werewolves, fallen angels and Russian princesses. And there'll be a competition. Like I said, I've a few copies of Dark Goddess to offload.

*When I mean embrace I mean metaphorically, not in either a) a vampiric way sense since I'm not one of the undead or b) in the prelude to kissing sense either, after all my wife does read this blog. Well, she says she does.

Things that were good in 2010

2010-12-29T12:28:00.004Z

Oh come on, everyone else is doing one of these! Lists for this and that and everything inbetween. Right, this is mine. I make no apologies and if I forgot someone, sorry!

1. Madmen. OMG. Where to begin on it's sheer awesomeness. Slow burn storytelling, mysteries abound, Roger Sterling's wit and Joan's, well, Joan-iness. The most rediculously good-lookin' cast of human beings imaginable and it made me go out at buy my first suit (I work in my pajamas, why oh why do I need a suit?). It made smoking cool again. (BTW kids, smoking is BAD). I've ploughed through series 1-3 and just waiting for that series 4. I love the way all the characters intertwine and the layers of story seems ocean deep. Now that's writing. Impeccable settings, story and characters and the Carousel speech is arguably TV's 'To be or not to be,' a piece of dialogue that all others will be measured against. Pure brilliance.
2. The Chainsaw Gang. I'm rather proud of this one. It started with a vague conversation about getting a bunch of authors together and since Sept we've had five events already. There's more lined up in the New Year and hopefully we'll be setting up a website soon-ish. Considering we're basically a bunch of strangers sitting in the lifeboat in the sea of books, it's great to have some company!
3. Orlando trip. I can't thank Hyperion enough for giving me the chance to come over and meet the movers and shakers of the US YA world. Made a lot of great new friends and the 'Kiss Me, Kill Me' blog series is the result of this. Plus it's always nice to stay in a safari park.
4. Movies. In no particular order: Inception, Scott Pilgrim v. the World, The Other Guys, Solomon Kane, Kick Ass.
5. Books. Blood Meridian, Shiver (I know, paranorm romance, who would have believed it?), The Doubled-Edged Sword, The Forest of Hands and Teeth.
6. Family. 'Nuff said. Now more than ever.

Kiss Me, Kill Me Blog Tour

2010-12-18T18:12:00.005Z

It wasn't that long ago when I sat up and a meeting and suddenly realised "OMG, I'm in the paranormal (non) romance genre!"

There's a feeling at times I'm here all by myself but as my dear old mum said to me as she pushed me through the school gates on that first day "Go and make friends and don't bite anyone!" before she hurried off across the road to the hairdressers.

Anyway...

The best thing about the conference last month was the mixing and mingling with the lights of the YA world. You could not hope to meet a smarter, better-dressed and well-mannered bunch. There were moments (quite a few, actually) when I really did wonder if they'd got me mixed up with someone else and any second now security would grapple me to the ground, get excessive with the pepper spray and shove me on the next flight outtta DisneyTown.

Look, there's Darren Shan! Holly Black! Melissa de la Cruz! Ally Carter! Maggie Steifvater! Carrie Ryan! OMG, what is she doing? Is that legal here? Well I suppose it's possible with medical training, but seriously, using just a spoon? It doen't look hygienic...
Hold on, there was a point to this blog. Ah yes. Making friends and influencing people. So, after hanging out with said superstars and basking in their light I was pushed onto a plane to leave the cloudless skies of Orlando far, far behind (hey, did I tell you I got upgraded when I gave a flight attendant a copy of my books? True!). But, I have taken a little fistful of ideas with me, back to the snow-bound wastes of South London.

I'd like to announce the 'Kiss Me, Kill Me' blog tour!

Cool title, don't you think? Well, I like it so that's what we're going to call it. Sigh. Some people.

Starting in Jan and running for as long as I can manage, I'll be inviting the great and the good and glamorous and gruesome of the YA paranormal world here, to review and interview them about what shakes their tree and gets their cold, vampiric blood flowing.

With a title like 'Kiss Me, Kill Me' I'll be starting with the female of the species. Quite the most deadly collection of authors, I think you'll agree. I've got Maggie Stievater, Cindy Pon, Rachel Hawkins and Carrie Ryan and that's just to start with. There will be vampires, zombies and werewolves, Oh My!

So, have a merry old Christmas, don't worry about the snow and I'll catch you later.

Kiss Me, Kill Me. Well I think it's a cool title.

Ode to the Chainsaw

2010-12-13T11:50:00.004Z

It's a statement weapon. It says 'Hey, I'm loud, noisy,brutal and when this is over, there'll be blood on the carpet and dismembered limbs in the kitchen'.

It reminds us that quantity has a quality of its own.

Suitable for most social ocassions. Be it zombies or lost teens, the chainsaw is the answer.

It's not subtle, true, but it announces itself. You know when somebody starts up a chainsaw.

We're half-way through the Chainsaw Gang's 12 Deaths of Christmas and while I'm disappointed we're not heading for that Xmas No.1 slot in the charts, in all other aspects the tour has been a success!

Thank you for joining it, one and all.

Below is the full list of the bloggers who've been involved. Each has posed us a curious question (who would you be in yoru favourite horror movie? What's the spookiest place you've ever visited? Books for Xmas and so on) and we've all given them our answers, which range widly! Plus there has been singing.

Mon 6th My Favourite Books

Tues 7th Enchanted Books

Weds 8th Narratively Speaking

Thurs 9th Wondrous Reads

Fri 10th BookZone

Sat 11th and Sun 12th Book Gazing

Mon 13th BookZone

Tues 14th Wondrous Reads

Weds 15th Narratively Speaking

Thurs 16th Enchanted Books

Fri 17th My Favourite Books

Remember, each comment entered gets a chance to win the Chainsaw Library, a signed copy from each member of the Chainsaw Gang. That would be your 2011 reading list sorted in one go, wouldn't it? Alas, only UK residents, this time.

My Vampire Romance

2010-12-11T13:38:00.003Z

Been there, done that. Now even the most casual reader of my blog will know my apprehension over vampires. They may even think I have some garlic-like aversion to the bloodsuckers.

That couldn't be further from the truth!

"No, Sarwat! Tell me it's not true! You've not gone all Team Edward on us! Is that a poster of RPatz up beside the bed? Oh woe is us! Who will deliver the throat-ripping, blood drenched fiends we crave now Sarwat's started drawing little hearts in his elegant note book and calling himself 'Sarwat, the lost Cullen'.

Fear not, my companions of slaughter, I have not fallen to the dark side.

Well, not yet though there are those moments when Jacob takes of his teeshirt (like every five minutes but frankly with abs like those, who wouldn't want to expose them to the world constantly although you've have to hack through a thick forest of chest hair to see anything like that on me not that I have had abs like those since, well ever, though there was a period in my late teens when I was doing karate a lot, before I had my teeth knocked out but that's another story where was I? Oh yes, anyway there was that time when I did have the vaguest outline of a six-pack but all too briefly. Sigh.)

Which brings me somewhat shambolically to Anne Rice, the godmother of vampires. Oh, gosh, where to begin? We had the gloriously ammoral Lestat, melancholic Louis, the petite but lethal Claudia and then we had Akasha, Queen of the Damned.

Oh, yes, now that's what I call a vampire.

Hmmm.

Interview with a Vampire. The Vampire Lestat and the Queen of the Damned were the first three and the best vampire books I've ever read. After those, all others are, well, anaemic. It started a love affair with the blood-sucking fiends that, truth be told, has never ended. It amazes me how it's gone on and on, we never tire of them, we love them in all their angsty palid beauty (and none were as angst-ridden as Louis, I tell you).

Gloriously violent, devestatingly glamorous and painfully beautiful, the vampires of Anne Rice novels were the very pinnacle of the genre. If you're looking for the 'real thing', dash over to Amazon and order them now.

BTW, am I the only one that enjoyed the movies? I thought Queen ofthe Damned was great, I even bought the soundtrack. Check out the music videos on the dvd special features. Lestat is a vampire's vampire.

So Darren, why don't your vampires sparkle?

2010-12-08T13:19:00.007Z

One of the GREAT things about the writing business is hanging out with your heroes. I'd like to take a small step back in time. Mind the kerb.

You know when you decide to do something new and there's the old saying If you want to build a better mouse trap, see how the original one works'. Or something. The point is there's no point in reinventing the wheel.

Jeez, that was a crap sentence, but you know what I mean?

So, I want to be a writer. How best to go about it?
I'm not talking just about writing words and sentences (like, duh) but making it into a career.

Here are the vague steps I followed:

1. Decide I want a career, not a hobby that pays. That means acting like you want to (say) retrain as a teacher, or accountant, or astronaut. That means study, putting in the hours and using your time efficiently (especially as writing is probably the most inefficient job possible. I don't know anything that generates so much discarded effort, except perhaps being president). Way, way too many people want their books on shelves,and frankly there's not enough room as it is. Not only are you competing against everyone writing now, but pretty much everyone who's written ever. That's over 2,000 years worth of writing from the best in history. Imagine wanting to be an interior decorator but having Michealangelo to compete with. Somehow your neat, pastel-coloured ceiling doesn't look quite so amazing, does it? That's what writing can feel like. Actually, I always feel a bit depressed when I think about it like that. Moving swiftly on...

2. Whose career do you want? Now it's nice to think "J.K Rowling's", and okay, yes, we all think that briefly, but in my choice I prefered those that have had a few more ups and downs, and still made it. It's character building and will offer greater inspiration in the long run. I picked Clive Cussler, Bernard Cornwell and Darren Shan. Cool heroes with historical mysteries, action and horror. These are the three aspects that appealed to me and helped me to decide the route to follow.

3. Why Darren? Firstly, his success is down to HARD WORK. Yes, he's amazingly talented but we can't all have that level of talent. But we can reproduce his effort. The guy churns out great books like some book-churning-out machine. He does tours, school visits, blogs in great depth and clearly has a mad passion for his job. I saw him do a presentation to a couple of hundred kids and decided that was how I was going to do it. Get them involved. Acting out scenes. Whip up a frenzy. His fans are mental for his stuff. Now that's the sort of enthusiasm you want for your writing, isn't it?

He doesn't sit on his butt when counting the money and tapping away. He gets out and about even now when, surely, his success would mean he doesn't need to do it anymore.

So it was a rare honour to finally meet him at Orlando. We had a bit of a chat and talked about my favourite book of his (The Thin Executioner) and how he was in Oman during the Gulf War when he was researching it. That Middle-Eastern atmosphere is the best thing about it and shows you how much stories are improved by real experience.

So, yes, if you are planning to crack the author mystery, you could do a lot worse than check out Darren.

Christmas singalong

2010-12-05T13:12:00.003Z

Obviously I've way too much time on my hands but I've decided to branch out into music-writing. I'm not talking about a nine-hour opera or even a West-End type musical with dancing and cabaret (though that would be fun, wouldn't it?) but something Christmasy. If it's good enough for Cliff Richard* then it's good enough for me.

It's something I've been working on with my fellow Chainsaw Gangsters and some of the wise and beautiful of the blogging world. I'd like to present:
The 12 Deaths of Christmas Blog Tour and Sing-a-long!

Starting on Monday, and over the next 12 days, we'll be releasing a verse a day, which a major brainstorming of the members of the Chainsaw Gang. The idea is that each blogger asked whatever they wanted, and we gave them the answers as best we could.

It'll be a chance to delve into the twisted minds of Alex Bell, Alex Gordon Smith, David Gatward, Sam Enthoven, Me (obviously), Steve Feasey, Jon Mayhew, Stephen Deas and Sarah Silverwood. The questions range widely from writing techniques to personal hygiene habits!

It kicks off tomorrow at My Favourite Books and will then be infesting the blogsphere like the bubonic plague!

Tues is at the talented Mr Ripley.

Wedsneday will be Narratively Speaking.

Thurs at Wondrous Reads

Friday at BookZone.

Saturday is BookGazing.

Then I'll update you with the others as we get closer.

Need I mention there will be prizes? Well, there will be!

Me and my library

2010-12-03T16:53:00.003Z

This is buzzing around the blogosphere and there are far wiser and more erudite writers explaining why the closure of 250 libraries in the UK is a BAD IDEA. All I can do is give my perspective on this and leave the politicians the opportunity to do the right thing. For once!
As you know, I'm into my history. While most of it does involve swordfighting and gladiators, sometimes it does stray into the big ideas of civilization.
You know what? Libraries define civilization. Not reality tv, not banks, not the bread and circuses.
Proof?
The great library of Alexandria. It pushed Eygpt to the centre of the world and it's loss is still being felt today, 2000 years later. There were scientists and thinkers operating out of its walls who invented the steam engine. Imagine where we'd be now if the industrial revolution had happened in the first century AD rather than the 18th? That's were science, philosophy and cultures met, learnt from one another and made the world a wiser, more tolerant place. You get rid of libraries, you get rid of wisdom, you might as well just chuck thsoe books on a bon-fire. Like they did in Germany in the 1930s. And we know that turned out well.
"Oh yes, Sarwat, but it's all electronic now. Paper is passe. Wouldn't it be so much easier if people could download it. Problem solved."
Sorry, but that's the arguement of someone who's never been in a library in like the last ten years. Last time I looked our library had classes for pensioners (like teaching them how to use the computer and surf), story-telling groups for toddlers, language classes, author meetings, writing classes, book groups and the opportunity to do something else than spend the day inside your house ALONE. It's a chance for people to get out, meet, exchange ideas, learn something from others. Someone mentioned wanting to create the 'Big Society'. Oh yes, it was the Prime Minister. Well, the first brick in building that society is the library.
I didn't have a lot of books in the house. Not everyone can afford it because books are a luxury item and if you're not so well off you want food on the table first. The library was where I learnt about the world. I read about Ceasar crossing the Rubicon, the battle of Hattin, the witchtrials. I learnt that Afghanistan has been more trouble than it's worth for over two millenia. Even Alexander the Great thought it best just to get on the hell out of there as quickly as possible. Frankly, if one or two politicans had visited their own libraries before commiting to war, a lot of lives would have been saved. It opened the world to me and made me realise how marvellous it all is. We are retreating into parochial mindsets already, shutting down libraries will only speed that process up and all our news and knowledge will become the unfiltered rants of the loud and empty voices.
The library has been the mark of a civilization. Always has, always will be. Those that tear them down will be judged badly by history.

Lessons in writing, Internal Conflict

2010-11-30T13:39:00.004Z

This has come up on several of my talks so I'll pick it up here. It's all part of characte creation. So are you sitting comfortably? Good, I won't be long.
Okay, we all know drama is CONFLICT, right? Simply put all stories are about opposing forces trying to get or do something. You want a good guy, you want a bad guy.
Or do you?
You've two types of conflcit, Internal and External. External is when the hero is out fighting some villain. He doesn't worry about the righteousness of his cause, he knows he's the good guy and it's as simple as that. Most war films and most Bond movies are all about external conflict. See the guy in the Nazi uniform? BAD GUY. You can bomb him, shoot him, do all sorts of violent and socially unacceptable things to him and no-one will mind. Seriously. Ditto anyone with a kaftan, turban and AK-47, KKK hood, Soviet uniform (for those of us who grew up watching 1980's action movies) or gang colours and generally people with a poor grasp of English or (ironically) a very good grasp of English (why are the bad guys always from English public schools*?). These are all codes for 'we're not engaging in any moral conflict issues here, so move along'.
Try and avoid these sort of stories. They are exciting, sure, but simple storytelling. They suit the visual medium better than the literary one, mainly because explosions don't work so well on paper, or Kindle for that matter.
Internal Conflict. That should be your mantra. The ONE THING books do better than any other medium is explore the inner mind of the characters. So give them something worth exploring. Doubts, self-criticism, confusion and moral dilemmas. After all, the entire canon of Russian literarture and most of YA romance is built on this! It works because it's what the medium does best.
There endeth the lesson.
(*Oh, for the Americans reading this, first, let me say 'Hi!' then explain what we in England call public schools you would call VERY EXPENSIVE private schools where the child needs to be entered more or less the moment they're concieved for any chance of getting in, unless they happen to own a country or small European principality, which sort of trumps everything).

The themes in Dark Goddess, love's legacy

2010-11-27T11:03:00.005Z

As those of you who read Devil's Kiss will know, Billi suffered the loss of a loved one. I wanted to make sure such an event had deep resonance within Dark Goddess and looked at how Billi would cope.
It made me think hope any of us will cope. Sooner or later, we all suffer the loss of someone we loved. There are no easy answers to why they went, whether it was fair or all part of some divine plan. We try and make sense of their lives and how they touched and made us who we are today. What legacy does the loved one leave behind?
Is it in our nature to take love for granted? That we expect it from those around us who we share our lives?Only to realise what it meant when it's gone?
Billi has a poor role-model in Arthur. A man who could not cope with the loss of his wife so retreated from the world, built tall walls to keep the pain outside, but alas, left his daughter outside those walls too.
Billi has the legacy from him and the one she loved. I think I've made it clear who I believe is the greater hero. Arthur is strong, fierce and undefeatable. But the other was in touch with the world around him, more than he wanted perhaps, but was the greater hero because of it. What's been the best aspect of Dark Goddess is seeing how these two legacies play out in Billi's soul.
Such legacies are subtle at times. We do things unconciously, act on ideas and attitudes absorbed into our hearts from those hearts that once envolved and embraced us. Love wounds us most terribly, but they are the only wounds worth having.

My Inspirations, Part 2

2010-11-23T13:53:00.003Z

Wow. I'm sitting here in my hotel in Disneyworld, suitcase packed and passport at the ready. It's been an amazing five days and it'll take me a looong time before I process even half of it. The NCTE (National Council of Teachers of English) conference has exposed me to another side of publishing that is vast and more than inspiring, it's the reason behind what we do.
I've met so many teachers, great librarians and enthusiastic readers from all over and what's clear from each and everyone is the passion they have for writing, for stories and the way they expose the reader to brand new worlds and people. It's all about stepping into another's skin and seeing the world through new eyes. That's pretty damn amazing. Pure magic, actually. There have been so many I'd like to thank for reminding me about all this, but I'd like to mention Margaret, Becky and Claire especially.
I'd like to thank the other authors I've met. Mellisa, Ally, Brent, Cindy, Carrie, Cinda, Holly, Darren, Joy and many more (I'll go into more detail regarding some of the discussions I've had soon). What's great is even the big names 'Oh, I've been No.1 on the NYT and have Hollywood banging at my door' have a huge amount of patience for us novices. There just wasn't enough time to talk to any of them. Ah well.
Lastly, the Disney-Hyperion crew. They've been beyond fantastic and gone well beyond the call of duty on all fronts. Dina, Nellie, LaToya, Molly, Kristian, and most of all, Catherine, my new and extraordinary editor. They are the most wonderful company anyone could hope to have.
Thank you all!

My Inspirations, Part One

2010-11-16T12:30:00.004Z

Dark Goddess was, strangely, the first story about Billi SanGreal, though I didn't know it at the time. The first version of Dark Goddess was written around 1993-4. I'd read about the Russian witch, Baba Yaga, and wanted to use her. Back then she was ancient, she was wicked, but also wise and honest.
After that I started looking out for her. But it was 'Women Who Runs with Wolves' by Clarissa Pinkola Smith that gave me the Baba Yaga I'd been looking for.
Chapter 3 is Vasilisa the Wise. Smith reckons the story is about 3,000 years old (but probably much much older), pre-dating Classical Greek culture and descends from a time before gods. When there was only the goddess and one of her names was Baba Yaga.
Vasilisa goes into the forest and meets Baba Yaga. She serves her and in exchange is given fire, a light radiating from a skull, that she uses to go back home and destroy her step-mother and sisters. It's a classic fairy tale and it's about growing up.
Baba Yaga is the anti-fairy godmother. Vasilisa is the anti-Cinderella. She's not waiting for the prince to save her and Baba Yaga isn't here to sew her ballgowns.
Smith's book delves deep into a handful of fairy tales, exposing the female mythology that underpins many of these 'children's stories'.
I think I've learnt more about story telling from that book than any of the others. Myths are hugely important. Always have been, always will be. The story of Baba Yaga and Vasilisa the wise have survived longer than most because they are so important.
It's about journeying into the dark forest and learning from the frightening things that dwell within, hidden from all but the bravest. It's not about being fashionable, about being pretty. It's certainly not about being 'nice'. It's about doing what must be done, rather than what should be done.
Smith explains it best.
"The Wild Woman is the one who dares, who creates and destroys ... Following her footsteps, we endevour to learn to let be born what must be born, whether all the right people are there or not. Nature does not ask permission."

Packing RIGHT NOW

2010-11-14T23:14:00.003Z

Passport. Itinerary. Laptop. Transformer (which weighs more that the bloody laptop!). Mobile. Toiletries (shaving foam, razor, toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss. Real men don't wear perfume. Unless it's Lancome). Camera. Batteries. Sharpies (2No.). Teeshirts (one black, one white). White shirt. Blue shirt. Blue tie. One suit (One and only. Blue and shiny with wear). Trousers (not blue). Jacket (blue). Shoes. Boots. Trainers. Jeans (yep, blue). Underwear (a variety of colours, some blue). Socks. Swimming trunks (blue). Two belts (black and brown. Make sure your shoes are the same colour as you shoes. It's the only fashion tip I know. If it's good enough for Don Draper it's good enough for me). Jumper. Anorak (blue). Another shirt. Another shirt (short sleeves. It is Florida after all). Books to read (Bluebloods, Blood Meridian and Wolf Hall, which, sadly, has no wolves in it at all).
I tell you this, my backpacking days are way, way behind me when I used to travel with half a towel, a toothbrush with the end cut off, a Swiss Army Knife and a packet of anti-malaria pills.
If you're at the NCTE gig this week and rolling into the next, I'll be at the following places:
Friday 19th Autographing Session (with one of my two Sharpies): 1.00-1.30pm, Booth #920.
Saturday 20th: The Middle Mosaic:Writers and Readers together from 4.30pm to 5.30pm. Coronado Springs.
Monday 22nd: ALAN Workshop from 3.45pm till 4.15pm. Coronado Ballroom.
Just look for the guy in blue.

What's next?

2010-11-10T11:48:00.002Z

So kind of you to ask. Well, a trip to Disneyworld. There's a huge NCTE librarian conference there next week and I'll be there with my autograph book, pretending to be a highly respectable author-type.

Dark Goddess is due out in the US in January and the wonderful people in Disney-Hyperion have many treats instore!

Firstly, a multitude of short stories by my own fair hand. They'll be popping up, day by day, on the Hyperion Facebook page, starting on November 15th. Some you might have found on this blog earlier, but one or two are brand new, including one where Billi goes on a date (cleverly titled 'Billi's Date', I am a marketting whizz, aren't I?) and you just know it's not going to go well.

There will be hob-nobbing. I'll be sticking my head into publicity shots like an X-Factor wannabee. Ally Carter, Mellisa de la Cruz and Cinda Williams Chima will be there too, so I'll have a field day stealing, er, borrowing, ideas from them all.

But it's not all fun and games and cocktail parties and afternoons at the bar with the publisher, oh no. There'll be a research trip to Harry Potter World too. Yes, I said research and stop that sniggering at the back. Photos of me being sick on the rollercoasters will follow shorty.

But the writing, Sarwat, what about the writing? Are you not meant to be an author?

Ah, yes, the old word-count per day.

Apparently Darren Shan does like 5,000 words per day. Well, I've done that exactly twice in my career and both times my agent sent them all back asking me to spell them correctly first. Then make them into a story that WORKS. Darren's at the conference too, I think, I'll ask him about that too.

I have written something. I hope to tell you about it soon. Now I intend to write something else.

Supernatural? Historical? Science Fiction? I have no idea! Maybe that teen romance that has been bubbling away for years or that 1st person, told in flash-back literary masterpiece about the Mongolian yak herder doing the 1950's and his struggle against the state monopoly on fermented yak milk?

Oh, I have written a song. No, seriously! There's still a chance to get that UK Christmas No.1 and sod it, I'm going to go for it. Now, I'll freely admit I have no musical talent WHATSOEVER, but did that stop JedWard? I think not. I have borrowed my sister's guitar but I think there's a string missing.

Because the mind-blowing awesomeness of this ditty, I dare not release all the lyrics in one go. Frankly I fear the entire world may come to a standstill.

Writing Workshops by the Chainsaw Gang

2010-11-02T09:04:00.004Z

Starting this Sat and running over the next two weekends the Chainsaw Gang will be running a variety of workshops at the Richmond Literary Festival.
In fact, the Chainsaw will be totally OWNING the kids' events!
It'll be the three Alexs (Milway, Bell and Gordon Smith) and myself and we'll be delving DEEP, WAY WAY DEEP, into the art of writing and drawing. We're at the Orleans House Gallery on Sat 6th, Sun 7th, Sat 13th and Sun 14th.
So we'll be discussing plotting, character creation and story arcs, making sure your stories kick butt very hard and talking about those little secret skills you might need to break into publishing. Alex Milway will be giving all you artists out there the chance to create your perfect monster.
My Gosh, if I'd known then what I know now I could have saved myself years of faffing about and trawling through the Artist's and Writer's Yearbook (useful as it is, it is not everything).
I'll be specifically looking at classical story structure, characterization and how to build character arcs in three easy steps. Plus there'll be my usual Templar roleplay extravaganza! The sessions are about 2 hours long so there'll be plenty of time to discuss a range of writing topics. Likewise if you've got any burning questions on the day, I'll do my very best to answer them. The events are ticketed, so do go over to the website and book your place now. I'm on the Sunday gig at 11.30am (right after church!)
So, as of next Sat 6th, the Chansaw will be cutting up Richmond something quite wicked.

What is bad is good

2010-10-26T10:41:00.003+01:00

As you know (or should know) I am not a fan of paranormal romance so, hey what's with a picture with a dreamy blonde girl with angel wings?
Have I fallen to the dark side?
What next, posters of a shirtless Taylor Lautner in the study? Modelling my few hairs into a RPatz quiff?
Ah, that'll be a no.
Firstly, it would take the genius of Vidal Sassoon to do anything with my few follicles beyond the No.1 cut.
Plus there's no room on my wall for semi-naked shots of Taylor. They're covered with semi-naked posters of Christain Bale (yes, despite his many moments of madness I stay true. I'm here, Christian! I'll never desert you!).
Ehem. Sorry, needed to get that fanboy rant off my chest.
Gosh, where was I? Ah, Angel by L.A Weatherly. But I'll call her Lee, because that's her name.
Anyway, Lee's a big hero of mine.
Lee teaches writing and she taught me. Now that may or may not be a good thing, depending on which side of the 'Sarwat should go back to engineering and give up this writing lark' fence you may be resting your tush on, but that's a debate for another day.
I'm only half-way through Angel and my romance nerves a holding firm, so far we've had a few sidelong glances and a few references to the gorgeous cheekbones of Alex and the petite perfection of Willow BUT we've also had CIA conspiracies, assassinations, brain-washing and religious cults.
Hell, yes!
These are the things that make children's literature so great, don't you agree?
But the theme of Angel is the bliss of the bad. Lee's angels are parasites that feed off human auras, but appear as glowing, beautiful beings and leave the victim in a state of euphoria, convinced that the angel has done them good. Instead they are drained, weakened, tainted by the attack. Over time the victim will grow sick and die, never realising it was the angel that started it all. That moment of bliss was the beginning of the end.
Because Lee's a proper writer, what appeals to me far more than Willow's blonde locks and Alex's cheekbones is her theme; how we are addicted to things that do us harm. Government warning signs, medical research, our basic instinct, even a glance in the mirror (where did that gut come from? Well, it was a steady diet of burgers and chips all washed down with jumbo Cokes that did it for me) but we do not stop. We embrace the things that destroy us.
Wow, it makes you wonder how we've made it as a species, doesn't it?
It can't be advertising, half the cigarrette packets are covered with SMOKING KILLS, really, it couldn't be clearer, could it?
Mind you, one look at Don Draper with a fag and I want to like up.
Lee will be at the Foyles Demons v Angels event on Sunday, I'm going to ask her what it's all about (and see if I can blag an advanced copy of Book 2)
Check out her book. Then wonder, what's the angel in your life?

Halloween Week

2010-10-22T12:17:00.004+01:00

It all kicks off tomorrow. A week of werewolves, ghouls, witches, zombies, creepy-crawlies and all those things that go bump in the night.

Tomorrow is the Crystal Palace Children's Book Festival and I'll be at the library from 2.15pm till 4pm with half the Chainsaw Gang for what will be our FIRST EVER event. If you're in the neighbourhood, it would be great to see you.

Monday 25th is Chester for their GobbledeeBook festival. Th
ere'll be a few silly props so you can act out your Templar dreams as well as discussions about all the fun things we writers do. Which is sit in a cold, dark, damp room and write, day in, day out. Actually, it doesn't sound so much fun after all. Maybe I'll talk about something else instead.
Friday 29th is up to Norwich Forum for another round of arguing, I mean intelligent discussion, with Will Hussey, Sam Enthoven and Alex G Smith and my sweet self. More demons that you could shake a crucifix at.

Sunday 31st, Halloween itself, we'll be at Foyles, Charing Cross Road, for their Demons vs. Angels event. There will be spooky treats for all. Me, Will Hussey, Sam Enthoven, Cliff McNish and L.A Weatherly will be debating who's the ultimate, hard-core bagger and tagger in the supernatural world.

Angels. Demons.

None of that 'I'm just a bit misunderstood' vampire or 'having a bad day on those full moon nights' werewolf issues but the real wrath of God and Revelations hell-fire stuff. In the end, they will be the last word.

It's all on my website.

So, if you're around any of these places, stick your head in and say hello!

Chester next Monday 25th October

2010-10-16T11:40:00.003+01:00

Next Monday the Dark Goddess will be at Chester's Children's Book Festival, cleverly titled GobbledeBook!
The events run all week long from 23rd to the 31st October but I'll be there on Monday 25th, so do come along for a chat and two hours of entertainment and wisdom. Well, at least entertainment.
I'm at the St. Mary's Centre from 2.30pm and 4.30pm.
There'll be readings, hints on how to get into publishing, a few pointers on what to watch out for if you're planning to write your own epic and a chance to get intouch with your own inner Knight Templar with a big roleplay session, so bring your sword and shield! If you don't, worry not. I have a few to spare.
There'll be a bundle of books for sale and a signing at the end of it.
What more could you possibly want?
Now, because this is your chance to ask away anything you want, do drop in a comment here and now. This is as much about what you want as it's about me, just chatting.
This is our festival, yours and mine.
What do you want out of it?

Meet the Chainsaw Gang, Sarah Silverwood

2010-10-10T22:11:00.004+01:00

Today I kick off the Chainsaw Gang Blog Tour. Over the next two weeks you'll meet each and every member of the gang, get a flavour of their books and understand why their part of the Chainsaw.

First, meet Sarah Silverwood. I know you've been waiting.

Parallel worlds. Mysterious orders of knights. Black rain. Mirror prisons and SWORDFIGHTS!

Oh yes, Sarah needed to be in the Chainsaw.

The Double Edged Sword is Book 1 of the Nowhere Chronicles and it ROCKS.

If you're a fan of Gaiman, Mieville's Un LunDun and Phillip Pullman's Northern Lights (especially The Subtle Knife) then DES is for you.

Sixteen years ago Finmere Tingewick Smith was abandoned on the steps of the Old Bailey as a baby, in nothing more than a blanket.

Now, his mysterious past is revealed...

It turns out that our, his, London is just one of many, and the Knights of Nowhere are the travllers between the two: The Somewhere and the Nowhere. There are hints of more worlds, but Book 1 deals with just these two.

Sarah's crafted a deviously entertaining world. The Prince Regent and his family's curse, the mysterious banished Magi and the Storyholder. Fin's our hero but his companions, Christopher, Joe and Mona, all have their parts to play. The villain of the piece is the current commander of the Knights, and his obsession with a prophecy. It's all early days but Sarah's laid the groundwork of a highly exciting new series. What's even better is Book 1 does wrap up the adventure, but with very clear signs that's there's more to come. I cannot wait.

Now you know a bit about her book, what about the woman herself? So, I asked her a few critical questions:

1. Favourite book? The Stand by Stephen King.
2. Favourite monster? Vampire. But the old school ones. The ones that want to kill you not kiss you.
3. Favourite bad-ass monster-slayer? St George. He's the granddaddy of all slayers.
4. If you could make a pact with the Devil, what would you want in exchange for your immortal soul? I already made a pact with the devil and I'm not allowed to divulge the details. It's in the contract. I had to sign it in blood. My own. That stung, I can tell you.
5. The Chainsaw Gang are all trapped on a desert island with no food. Who would you eat first and why? I would have to say Bill Hussey. Me and Bill know each other from our previous incarnations as adult horror novelists and we have the same agent. I'd have to eat him first because I know him best. It would probably be rude to eat a stranger. Plus, he's not skinny. he'd sizzle nicely on a BBQ.
Now we don't want this to be hard work. We'll be recommending a lot of books to you, and we know there's a recession on. Hence COMPETITION TIME!

We're offering the Chainsaw Library, a signed book from each of us. But how to win this literary bonanza? Easy.

The more you're involved, the more chances to win. Spread the word! What you need is votes.

Each vote goes into a vast hat at the end of the competition and one name will come out. They will receive signed copies off each member of the Chainsaw Gang. The great thing is you can enter per blog, so that’s nine chances to win! So make sure you visit each and every blog. It’ll be entertaining AND educational.
+1 if you follow this blog
+1 if you link the blog/website to yours
+2 if you stick our Chainsaw banner up somewhere
+1 if you’re a Facebook fan/friend
+1 if you comment on the blog and tell me about your own favourite monster.
+1 if you reTweet this competition.
+1 if you follow me on Twitter
The closing date of the competition is Friday 5th November and the competition is open to UK residents only (really sorry about that!).
Now you've met Sarah, you'll be keen to meet the next member of the Chainsaw. For that you'll need to go to Alexander Gordon Smith's blog tomorrow. I'll see you there.

Sinister Masterplan

2010-10-07T11:33:00.003+01:00

There comes a time in every young man's life when he's perhaps at some cross-roads in his life, emotionally, careerally, financially, and his thoughts turn towards WORLD DOMINATION.
Have you had those moments, sitting in your black armchair, stroking your white cat with machine-gun-armed minions at your beck and call, reading the Times and wondered, "Well, I could do a better job running the world than these clowns' and decide that maybe living in a volcano would be more environmentally sound (all that free heating from the lava)?
You have? I thought as much.
But before the volcano, before the piranha-filled pond, comes the PLAN.
Start small, that's the key. Gather like-minded individuals, another important step. Establish a clear mission statement before you overthrow the government. It's the difference between a mere gangster and criminal GENIUS.
So, over the next couple of weeks, I will be putting my plan into action. You have been warned. In fact, I'm expecting delivery of my white long-haired persian cat from Amazon any minute now.
Starting Monday the Chainsaw Gang will introduce themselves. For those of you keen to join in the new world order it would be wise to travel across the blog-sphere to visit each and every Chainsaw and acquaint yourselves with your new masters, I mean authors. There'll be prizes galore (hey, it's not all jumping through flame throwers, we evil geniuses want to party just like everyone else) a long list of events where you can meeet us (I see it as a sort of recruitment drive) and who knows, maybe we'll introduce you to your new favourite book. But only if your favourite book has horror, monsters and bloodshed. We have our standards.
Fear. Terror. Tales of torment, of ghouls and evil and of ever-encroaching darkness. These are some of our favourite things.
Starting Monday.
Now, where did I put that gigantic lazer beam device?

How much do you earn?

2010-10-04T22:10:00.005+01:00

This is something that I think confuses everyone, are writers rich or not? Is it a career worth pursuing or should you stick with being a window-cleaner, like your mother wanted?
So, I've managed to nick the TOP SECRET publishing document used by agents and publishers to work out how much they should offer you as an advance on your next book. It's only a rough version (all I was able to photocopy from the office before the security guards chased me out) but should give you a ball-park figure of what you can expect to earn.
1. Does your book involve vampires? Lose $10,000.
2. Does your book involve zombies? Add $10,000.
3. What about angels (but you'll have to be quick as their value is dropping daily)? Add $12,000 this week, losing $1,000 per week hereafter.
4. Knights Templar? Lose $50,000 and put that pen down before you destroy the publishing industry!
5. Have you or any of your characters ever been naked on telly? Add $100,000.
6. Does your book contain a character who's first name is Harry? Add £500,000.
7. Is his surname Potter? Add another $5,000,000.
8. Is YOUR surname Meyer? Add $1,000,000.
9. Have you ever been arrested or shot at? Add $20,000 (a certain notoriety goes a long way but PLEASE OH PLEASE don't now head over to Afghanistan/Iraq/South Central based on this document!).
10. Finally, have you had any personal experience with space aliens (aliens are HOT HOT HOT!)? Add $100,000.
So, based on the above table, the best thing to write is a blockbusting paranormal sci-fi adventure featuring a space alien called Harry Potter, fighting a world of zombies with an angel girlfriend which you'll write while in prison after having be arrested for running naked through Prime Minister's question time.
EASY!

Weathering or when the going gets tough

2010-10-03T14:46:00.003+01:00

If I've learnt anything in the last two years (hell, in my entire life) it's that as snow follows summer, the bad times follow the good. There is no escape from this fact.

Life cannot be a series of highs. But as hard as it is to manage the up's it's harder still to manage the downs.

I've spoken to a few other authors about this, rejections generally and some were rejected 100+ times before they got published.

Well done them for having the guts to stick at it.

I'm not sure I would have had such determination. A hundred rejections? How many would it take to make me, you, anyone, give up? How much is self-belief (I know I'm good at this and will keep going) and how much is self-delusion (I wouldn't admit that I'm rubbish and find a better way to spend my time).

I've picked this point up before but my agent takes about 1% of submissions on as clients (it may have been 0.1% actually, but let's be positive). Still, pretty crappy odds. Then I hear the average wage of an author is £7,000/year (about $10,500) which is probably what you'd earn stacking shelves at your local supermarket.

Why bother?

You want to be the next JK Rowlings, rich and famous beyond your wildest imaginings? Nope. Sorry but that wouldn't happen. Better just carry on buying those lottery tickets.

Your name up on the shelves? You'll be surprised how quickly your books come right off those shelves if they don't sell.

The parties? Nice, but not frequent enough and you spend them hanging onto your editor because you know no-one.

No. None of these things can be the reason. There is only one motivating force behind hopeless endeavours and that is LOVE. Hour after hour after hour. During the day, the night, the holidays. You will annoy all and everyone around you as you sneak off to type (like I'm doing now, on Sunday when I PROMISED I wouldn't), sit daydreaming at the dinner table, and feeling quite sick at times as the words just crash over the pages (or worse, the plot crashes) and it's just a mess. But you cannot stop (and there comes a point, quicker than you'd believe, when it's too late to stop).

Bizzarely, the writing is both source of the anxiety and its salvation. It's pure magic-time as you weave worlds out of nothing and bring to life heroes out of dream-smoke. Mere vague ideas become solid, iron-cast realities.

Don't worry, in the end, if it's any good or not. You love it and you wouldn't swap it for anything else in the world.

Writing tips or DON'T PANIC

2010-09-30T08:55:00.008+01:00

Yes, I am writing, kind of you to ask. How's it going? Almost done, but, boy, did it take so much longer than I expected. Why? Here's why.

1. LOADS of amateur mistakes, mostly to do with showing off. There's a strange dynamic with being a writer. First, is ego. Afterall, you must have ego in abundance to think 'hey, read my thoughts, they're important'. You are expecting people to put aside all other activities to spend their passing hours, days, months even, dwelling on what you have to say. You may not have anything worthwhile to say, but at least, you think you do. Ego. It is important.

2. Invisibility. The writer should not be seen in the story. The complete opposite of ego. The story is paramount, this is not an excuse for you to vent your fustrations at the world. This is usually spotted at submissions stage, so if you want to write a story about, I don't know, someone a lot like you who does a job a lot like yours (never appreciated enough, of course) and wakes up one morning in their messy bedroom and decides to CHANGE THEIR LIVES, then stop right now. Now I'm not saying you shouldn't take aspects of your life (in fact, it's crucial that you should) but give it that glamour, illusionary twist. Twilight is a perfect example. Bella is the wish fufillment fantasy of Stephenie Meyer, and that is why she's been so successful, but her honesty she's tapped the wish-fulfillmet fantasys of millions. She's not updated Romeo and Juliet, she's updated Cinderella. But with glamourous vampires, centuries old wars, werewolves and sacrifice.
Do not underestimate this. Whatever else is said of Meyer, she writes honestly. In writing there's no higher ambition. Lies are for advertising. Be honest. Be invisible.

Where was I?

3. Research. Oh Lord, this is a nightmare. You really can overdo it. I think it's my biggest fault. I've spent years researching my latest project (1995 I think was when the idea first came to me) and the problem is I feel the need to put everything down into the manuscript. Mistake. Instead of making it clearer, you only make it more confusing, plus, you're showing off how clever you are (another big fault of mine, it's common amongst eldest children). But thankfully that's what agents are for. To tell you to CLARIFY/SIMPLIFY/CLARIFY/SIMPLIFY and repeat until finished.

4. And procrastination. Instead of writing I'm busy on things like Facebook, Twitter and blogs.

Death defying ACTS!

2010-09-27T08:18:00.003+01:00

On Saturday 23rd October we'll be celebrating the SECOND Crystal Palace Children's Book Festival and it'll have a strong Halloween slant.
The Chainsaw Gang will be there in our hordes, that's to say there'll be seven of us (rather magnificent, don't you think?) so you'll have Alex Milway, Alex Bell, Alexander Gordon Smith, Sam Enthoven, Jon Mayhew, Steve Feasey and myself. So if you're interested in anything from yetis to werewolves, from demonic prisons to er, more werewolves, then Crystal Palace is the place to be!
Those outside of London, fret not!
The Chainsaw will be in sunny Norwich and even more sunny Richmond soon enough!
In the next couple of weeks there'll be a lot of activity and a BIG competition being run across the members of the gang. We'll be discussing the market value of souls during a recession, how best to cook fellow authors and the baddest of the bad.
But it all kicks off at Crystal Palace. Check out the website and do make sure you book your (free) ticket to the Chainsaw Chit-Chat at the library in the afternoon. And make doubly sure you visit Bookseller Crow, the ultra-cool and moody bookshop that's the heart of the day's events. Tell Jonathan I sent you.

I am a Geek, hear me SQUEAK!

2010-09-23T08:12:00.008+01:00

Oh you mock, but we rule the world now.
Evidence?
Well, just look at what's on at the movies. Scott Pilgrim v. the World (geek defeats Superman AND Captain America!), Kick Ass (geek gets to, er, KICK ASS and gets the high-school hottie while everyone thinks he's gay, double result, even TRIPLE!!!), then we've got the new movie about Facebook and a whole, whole load of superhero movies which are written, produced and directed by geeks. And absolutely RULING the box-office.
This is a geek world. You just live in it.
Alas, geekness wasn't such a valuable and subversively cool commodity when I was at my most geek, or geek-peak as I like to call it. I collected comics. I stayed indoors playing Dungeons and Dragons when the cool kids were behind the bike-sheds doing whatever happened behind the bike sheds. Fixing bikes, maybe, I don't know. My first girlfriend was an uber-geek (she got a first at Imperial in Mechanical Engineering, there is nothing more geek) and frankly, we were so geek that we just hung out at the library and did, like, tutorials (until she dumped me for dragging her grades down). I did that clumsy side-ways two-set dance of the truly uncoordinated. You know the one, sort of head-banging while stepping to the left then back to the right, arms ridgedly stuck to my sides.
So, I would like to take this moment to celebrate the geeks of the world.
1. Clark Kent. Yes, geek wish-fufillment at its purest.
2. Billi Gates. Is a geek. Rules the world. Nuff said.
3. Scott Pilgrim. I loved this film so much I got a guitar. Oh how I wish I was that scrawny now!
4. Sherlock Holmes (obviously not the Robert Downey Junior version, who is very un-geek to his core).He prefers doing cross-words to getting the girl. That's geek.
5. Gary Gygax. The inventor of the Dungeons and Dragons game and the roleplaying industry in general. He has inspired the entire generation of writers of fantasy, YA lit, the whole she-bang. His influence cannot be measured. We'd still be living in huts probably, if it wasn't for him.

The greatest children's book EVAH!!

2010-09-20T10:18:00.004+01:00

Yes, the Hobbit. I cannot emphasise it's awesomeness enough. One measure of a great book is how many times you've re-read it. The Hobbit has been a major influence in my life and, I suspect, is the reason I write fantasy.

It was read to me at primary school and at first I thought it was really REAL, and if I crept quietly and kept careful watch, I might find or see a hobbit, since the entire book has that depth, ranging from Bilbo's family history and the detailed geography (which goes well and beyond the call of duty and makes me marvel how deep Tolkien's imagination was, to build a world where every river was mapped and every part of the terrain planned. What did he see through his mind's eye? Wow.)

I can remember the teacher reading that opening chapter and we're talking about 35 years ago, give or take.

I don't know how many times I've read it since. I read it to my wife during those mid-night and before dawn feeds of our first baby and now, that baby is a nine year old girl and there's nothing I look forward to more than reading her a chapter a night and seeing her eyes become light and distant as she walks the road to the Lonely Mountain with Bilbo and the dwarves.

The book has impact, I can see it. There's few things I remember from 35 years ago with such profound clarity. No tune. No telly programme or picture. Just a book about a hobbit.

I wonder about the hobbit in all of us. I strongly believe that's why we love it so much. We're not the Gandalfs and Aragons or Legolas's of our tales (much as we'd like to be Legolas, elves are just plain cool). We know we're the heroes of our own tales but we're heroes reluctantly. Our heroism is of small scale. Deep down we know we're not going to change the world. Look at those real life 'heroes' who do set out to change the world.

For the better? Be happy you don't make it worse.

We're Bilbo, dreaming of a warm breakfast in our comfortable hobbit-hole (Oh God, how much I want to live in a hobbit hole just like Bilbo's!) while we deal with fear, uncertainty and a vast, unknown future. This is what we are as children and what we are as adults(even more so, as we no longer have Gandalf to guide us). En-route to our Lonely Mountain.

Farewell, sweet Lindsey!

2010-09-17T00:45:00.006+01:00

Here's the second editor in my career to bail out on me in as many weeks.

Is there something I should know?

So, Lindsey is the scholarly guru at Puffin who guided Devil's Kiss and Dark Goddess through the quagmire of rewrites with her fellow editor in arms, Ari (who you read about last week, right?).

Lins was one of the judges of the 2008 SCBWI Undiscovered Voices competition and basically liked the early draft of Devil's Kiss (then called God's Killer and involving a big werewolf fight that didn't survive DK but sort of moved into DG, at least the joke about 'chasing cats' did anyway where was I?). Basically it was Lins who first 'found' me.

So, Lins is about to go on maternity leave with her first baby. Like is that reason enough to leave ME? All alone, editorless, wandering the self-help shelves and grammar sections of my local Waterstones, forelorn and lonely? Some people. Anyway, if I haven't said it already, congrats to Lins and Sam! A very handsome couple even if I say so and certainly prime movers around the dancefloor if their performance at the reception is anything to go by.

Gosh, my grammar. I still have nightmares working out why it's not witches's (the possesive noun of many witches). You have Charles's, don't you?

Lins, what will I do without you?

Meanwhile...

Just back from a big meeting with the Crystal Palace posse to discuss how to make this year's festival even more tremendous that last year's. And tremendous it will be!

Follow this link to entertainments galore. I'm in the workshop section with the rest of the Chainsaw Gang (more about that very soon! New posters! New members with added DRAGONS!).

The Bad Boys of Children's Literature

2010-09-14T11:34:00.005+01:00

Yesterday was Roald Dahl Day. It marks what would have been the old boy's 90th birthday. There have been blogs and celebrations aplenty regarding the World's No.1 Storyteller.
But...
Apparently Dahl was, not to put too fine a point on it, a fairly unpleaseant b**tard in real life. A new book by Donald Sturrock recounts a life of more than mischief making, bullying, philandering and monumental egotism.
For Heaven's sake, look at the photo! I'd be scared.
But...
Have you read the Fantastic Mr.Fox? I listened to it, narrated by Dahl himself, over the holidays. I've never suffered an anxiety attack before but that probably was the closest. I was more disturbed by that than when I read 'Silence of the Lambs.' Mutilations, brutality and in one scene, Mr. Fox's children fear they will have dogs set on them.
Setting DOGS ON CHILDREN?
What modern author could get away with that? What modern author would even think of it?
Maybe he was a bad boy, so what? Maybe that's what made his stories malicious, despairing and cruel. And brilliant. If there was any quote that first intrigued me with Harry Potter it was a very early one which compared Philisopher's Stone to Dahl. I agree, Rowlings' first few Potters were my favourites and do have a strong Dahlesque flavour. The later books got too caught up in the setting than the plot, IMHO, but to be compared to Dahl is a great compliment indeed. Perhaps the greatest.
Next up is Phillip Pullman. Now if you're a regular reader you know I love his Northern Lights trilogy. Those books CHANGED MY LIFE. I would not be a children's writer if it hadn't been for Pullman's work, his is a major inspiration. DEVIL'S KISS would not exist if not for him. And boy, do I agree with him on things like age banding, that shambles last year about security checks for authors visiting schools and the dogma that dominates religion.
But...
He's become a bit of a grumpy old man, hasn't he? Sort of 'rent-a-rant' author. I don't mind him venting but where are the books? I haven't read his Jesus one (lack of armoured bears put me off) but it's a bit disappointing when he says he doesn't write fantasy, even though he's written the best fantasy trilogy since Tolkien and seems to be distancing himself from what he did best, write children's stories.
Still, his immortality is assured. He, like Dahl, has written tales that look at the dark heart of children's tales and do so without sentiment and with honesty. For that I can only admire them as two of the greatest children's writers ever.

Sometimes, an axe just isn't enough...

2010-09-11T21:21:00.009+01:00

Vegan vampires. Cute'n cuddly werewolves. Romantic zombies.
Romantic zombies?!?
As far as I'm concerened the only good zombie is the one eating the living brain out of someone's skull.
Since when did all our favourite monsters go so 'PG rated'?
I say, ENOUGH!
You say, "Sarwat, get to the point, already!"
So I shall.
A group of writers have decided that it's time that monsters got back to doing what they do best, being MONSTROUS. And heroes got back to bagging and tagging them in the most bloody and violent way possible.
Hence the Chainsaw Gang.
We've decided to spread the word that in amongst the shelves of angsty, pale and love-lorn undead and eco-friendly lycanthropes there is blood, there is dread, there is fear.
The new wave of writers delivering old school horror.
But who are these mysterious masters of the macabre? (See? That's me being all writerly and stuff). And not only who, but where can you find them?
Let's start with Alex Bell. Now when the Chainsaw Gang was first mooted, it was clear that it was going to be 'BOYS ONLY'. We didn't think girls would cut the grade. You know, they'd get all sqeamish and cringy and write tons and tons of soppy scenes set in meadows and what not and basically be all 'girly'. Then Alex came on the scene.
Boy, were we wrong about the girl thing.
Author of The Ninth Circle and Jasmyn she delivers real, blood-chilling grown up horror. You'll be begging for your mummy.
Sam Enthoven. He ticks all the neccessary boxes, the '3 D's' I call it. Demons, death and destruction. Actually he ticks four, with dinosaurs. If you think school trips are dreary, try his latest book, Crawlers. Innocent people turned into mind-controlled psycho-killers, like the good Lord intended.
Steve Feasey. You can never, ever, ever, have enough werewolves. Throw in djinns, vampires and sorcerors and frankly I'm amazed you're not reading his Changeling series right now. In fact, what are you doing on this blog? A love of werewolves is a pre-requisite!
William Hussey. Young, Talented. An exceptional ball-room dancer too. Way, way too keen on the old Hammer House of Horror to be healthy, but good mental health is not required in the Chainsaw Gang. Infact, it's the last thing we want from our members. He's just written the stupendous Witchfinder: Rise of the Demontide. Check it out. Modern science mixed up with the most ancient of horrors. You'll never want to visit the sea-side ever again.
Jon Mayhew. Half-man half-whippet. They said he was a legend, but we sadly now know the truth. He lives and walks among us! Irritatingly talented he's written the completely awesome Mortlock. Spooks. Demons. Knive-throwing heroines (we really like those, more please). Enter dark, fog-bound Victorian London and the scariest circus since Cirque du Freak.
Alex Milway. You don't have to be called Alex to be part of the Chainsaw, but it helps. Alex is a writer, and illustrator, designer (the logo up top is his idea) and all round decent human being. I don't know why he wants to hang out with us but he writes about yetis and that's good enough for me.
Alexander Gordon Smith. No half as scary as he looks in his author photo. He's written the Furnace series which is about a prison built miles underground and run by demons. I really, really wish I'd thought of it first. Nail-biting tension from the first page and cliff-hangers to die for, and many do. A master of the 3 D's.
Now you know us, time to meet us.
The Chainsaw Gang will be blitzing the UK over the Halloween period. This is our 'beta-testing' phase, so we're going to go nice and easy on you. We'll crack it up later. The website will be up later this month and there'll be additional stuff galore, but I wanted to give you a heads up NOW, so you can get your diaries out and mark these dates in RED.

Alex Gordon Smith is a busy boy (he lives in Norwich so needs to get out and about as much as possible).
13th October, 4.00, Thornton Heath Library, Croydon
14th October, 4.00, Coulsdon Library, Croydon
19th November, 4.00, Worksop Library

Jon Mayhew will be ruling the north.
21st Oct: Crosby Civic Hall: Scarefest
26th: GobbledeBook Festival Chester: Teen Panel AM, Full Event PM
27th: Newport Big Read, Riverfront Theatre Newport
29th: Booka Bookshop Oswestry: A Hallowe'en Party
30th: Lancaster Castle

Steve Feasey will be at the Cheltenham Festival on Oct 10th.

I'll be at GobbledeBook Festival, Chester on Monday 25th, 2.30pm to 4.30pm.

Then, there are the BIG THREE events. True and pure Chainsaw.

Crystal Palace Children's Book Festival on Sat 23rd October with Jon Mayhew, Alex Bell, Alex Gordon Smith, Sam Enthoven, Steve Feasey and Alex Milway and me. Honestly, be there or be forever disappointed that you weren't at THE author gathering of the week, so far! This event is ticketed (tickets are free) so BOOK NOW!

Norwich Millenium Library on Friday 29th October, 2.30pm with Alexander Gordon Smith, William Hussey, Sam Enthoven and me.

Foyles, Charing Cross Road. Their big Halloween Angels and Demons extravaganza running Saturday and Sunday, 30-31st October. Guess which side we're representing on Saturday? It'll be the experts in all things demonic: William Hussey, Sam Enthoven and myself. There will be others, prepare to be surprised! Contact the store and book your place now.

Like I said, this is just the beginning...

An ode to Editors

2010-09-08T18:51:00.002+01:00

This is a photo of me with Ari Lewin, my editor from Disney-Hyperion, who, alas, is my editor no more!

Sob.

I cannot emphasise enough how important she's been to me and take this opportunity to explain just what the best editors (like Ari), actually do.

Firstly, they spot the story amongst the pages and pages of aimless drivel we writers churn out. They see where the magic is amongst the malformed chapters, insane (and inane) plot devices, cliches and cardboard characters that inhabit first drafts (or in my case, all the way into drafts four and five). Plus they have the patience to read drafts four and five with a freshness I find amazing, especially when I can't bear to look at the manuscript myself by then.

In short, editors are the ones who transform a pile of pages with black ink on them into a real book, something with life, passion and heart.

But they are also tyrants.

Elegant turn of phrase you've spent hours tailoring? If it doesn't help the story, they'll slice it out.

Deadlines looming? Well they've spent all their weekends trying to fix your story so you'd better spend your nights doing the same.

Characters behaving out of character? Number One sin. They can spot a plot device from the other building. You will not get away with it. You can almost hear the whip cracking across the phone.

So, goodbye Ari and thank you for everything. It's no small truth that I owe my career to you.

Next week I'll blog about my other editor and career-saver, Lindsey at Puffin, who has also decided to leave after having edited Dark Goddess.

What?!? Both my editors quitting? Was it something I said?

Did you miss me terribly?

2010-09-05T15:01:00.007+01:00

What do you mean you hadn't noticed?
I'm back from two weeks in sunny France and had the first break from writing in three or four years. Wow. Weird how addicted I've got to writing that I found the last two weeks so hard.
Well, I say hard but it's decidedly relative. Not hard as in "Oh, I'm on a six-month tour around Afghanistan and my combat outfit is flourescent pink with a great big target painted on the chest" more hard in being given the keys to the sweet shop and wondering which of the delights to scoff first then glutting yourself until you're sick.
You can have too much of a good thing (more on this at the end, it's really embarrassing).
So, here we are in the south of France, mountains, lonely mountains castles high up on the rocky outcrops, windy roads and more mountains and our little cottage is at the end of a windy, cliff-hunging windy road that's seriously not wide enough for two bikes to pass without risking one over the edge, let along drivers that have had a little too much of the vin rouge/blanc/rose and assume everyone else will get out of the way and we're a twenty km round trip to the nearest ANYTHING.
I don't do mountains. I feel dizzy wearing high heels (which is why I don't wear them anymore). This may have been a bit of a mistake. There's a reason they call the place inaccessible. I blame Kate Mosse. No, not the supermodel, that's Kate MOSS. We may blame supermodels for the rise in eating disorders and the general trend for poor body image perception amongst our young but we can't really blame them for the Albigensian Crusade.
In the end we didn't get to the main sights since it was hairy enough just getting out of the house but I had a lot of time to ponder things. Plots. History. Swimming pools. Barbeques.
Plans were discussed, formed and made. Plans within plans.
Now entering my third year as a full-time writer bloke I'm trying to be a bit more organised. Less flapping about and being more focused. Get things written and get out there a bit more.
There will be announcements on all this over the next few weeks.
What I can tell you is that there'll be a lot happening around Halloween. I'm up at the Chester festival, at the Crystal Palace book fest, Norwich and back at Foyles for their Angels and Demons extravaganza and what's more, I'll bring some friends along to. All of them, in fact.
Oh, yes, and John Mayhew.
And I'm in Florida in November for a conference at Disneyworld. RESULT! I haven't told my children as they won't quite understand why Daddy's going to Disneyworld for work and they can't come too. Apparently I count as TALENT so either I'll be able to jump the queues or they'll be dressing me up as Goofy and I've completely misunderstood the email.
Now you know why I don't miss my old job in engineering.

Reviews, interviews and internetty stuff

2010-08-19T17:39:00.002+01:00

There's me, sort of toppish left, next to Sarah R B, hand on chin. See me? No, to the left!
It's been quite a mad few weeks but now everyone's on their holidays I'd like to recap a few things.
Firstly, huge thanks to all who got involved in the blog tour and who are still involved! I just went to Puffin HQ this week and met with Nat, one of the gang involved with Spinebreakers, a website about teen and YA literature RUN by teens, which is sort of how it should be, isn't it?
In case you missed it (how could you, I was, like EVERYWHERE!) I'm going a random summary of a few of the bloggers who took part in supporting me and Dark Goddess well above and beyond the call of duty. The Children's/YA business has a lot of very ethusiastic and dedicated fans, I'm pleased to be part of it. Children's lit, it so rocks. As they say back in the 'hood. So if you're looking to exercise your mouse finger, do browse through a few of these sites. No pressure but there will be a test later.
Spinebreakers, Book Gazing, Rhiana Reads, Book Zone, I Want to Read That, Fantastic Book Review, Readings of a Busy Mom, I was a Teen Book Geek, LoveReadingX.

Grand entrances

2010-08-15T23:45:00.004+01:00

When creating a story, be it book, movie or comic, you want the principle character to make an impact and nothing matters more than when we first meet them. It sets the tone, the genre and well, you either win or lose your audience in an eyeblink.
We're talking costume (see left), attitude, the way they walk or just the way they arrive. Here's a few that made an impact on me.
1. Frankenfurter. "How do you do I see that you've met my faithful handyman. He's just a little bought down because when you knocked he thought you were the candy man." I'm watching this clip as I write and OMG, weren't the 1970's amazing?
2. James Bond in Dr. No. A Casino. Gorgeous babe in red. The languid way he lit the cigarrette and delivered the greatest introduction in film history. Dammit, the 1960's were pretty awesome too!
3. MacBeth. Ah, this is interesting because we've already met him before we've met him. The witches mention him in Scene 1 and King Duncan sings his praises in Scene 2., so by the time he does appear the anticipation has been built up around him already. This is a very handy technique, building the perception of the protagonist by the way other characters view him or her. It can also be used very easily to misdirect the reader in a big way, because they have a tendency to believe opinions are honestly expressed.
4. Yoda in Empire Strikes Back. Brilliant reversal by casting a muppet as a jedi master. I know it's hard to appreciate it now when he's an institution, but he defined the otherworldliness of the jedi order, and that the Force was much more than lightsabers. "Judge me by my size, do you?"
5. Eli, the girl vampire in Let the Right One In. Skinny, greasy black hair, gaunt and dressed in kneed leggings and a tatty sweater in the snow-covered playground. She looks so pathetic and tragic but the posture and stillness should tell you that something is wrong, wrong, wrong.

Right here, right now.

2010-08-11T10:37:00.005+01:00

Scary, isn't it?
Well, this is what life as a writer has done for me. Older, greyer, balder and with a tendency to wear a lot of black. And this is how I am in public, you really don't want to see me during my 'downtime' which is all beard and slippers and shuffling around the street in my dressing gown because, hey, I don't dress for work anymore.
I have been a full time WRITER now for two years!
My, it's gone quickly. And what has it been like? What have I learnt? What would I do differently? So, off the top of my somewhat shiny head here's the list:
1. Worry less. Oh God, where to begin? Crying at my first presentation at Puffin HQ was not the greatest of starts. I can laugh about it now, sort of. Then there's Amazon rankings, lack of five star ratings and wondering why I'm not on 'The South Bank Show', or 'Desert Island Discs' or even 'Woman's Hour' (yes, I listen to a lot of Radio Four) when it seems like every other author and their granny is.
2. Don't read books with exploding planes on the front cover when flying to New York. In hindsight that seems pretty obvious.
3. Don't headbutt other authors at their book launch. It was only a light tap, I hasten to add.
4. Realise most people don't look like their author photos. There's a reason we write, in cold, small, lonely dark dens. We're not meant to out in public that much. It's safer for everyone. Then you go to some event and are introduced to someone and only when they've left does publicity tell you that you've spent the evening spitting canapes over Stephenie Meyer*/Roald Dhal**/Dan Brown***. I've realised that if someone doesn'thave a name tag that's because they're IMPORTANT. Does Obama wear a name tag? No. Point made.
5. The internet is the biggest source of procrastitation ever invented. Facebook does not count as research. But Spotify is GOOD.
6. Make 'tax-deductable' your mantra when on holiday.
7. Editors have lives too and are not sitting around staring out the window just waiting for your call, even though they should be. And let's be honest, when they send you a manuscript with over six hundred comments what they're really trying to tell you is REWRITE THE BLOODY BOOK.
8. Writers don't believe in Christmas or holidays in general. Or sleep.
9. A lot more people make your book work than you could ever thank. So, in no particular order thank you to Lins, Ari, Wendy, Lisa, Jonathan, Stephenie (not Meyer, in case you were wondering), Tamara, George (not actually a bloke), Jonathan (actually a bloke), Jeni, Jo-Anne, Sam, Neil, Telka, Sarah, Sara, Sara, Julia, Helen, Kathryn, Lee, Alan, John, Conor, my girls, my wife, my family.

*Okay, I've not actually met Steph, but I have met her editor.
**Yes, I know he's dead. I'm just trying to make a point, alright?
*** I had a big Dan Brown joke in Devil's Kiss but the lawyers demanded it be cut. I'll have to tell you about it one day.

Billi SanGreal, Book 3#

2010-08-08T19:52:00.005+01:00

Or, what I'll be doing over my summer holidays.
Actually, it's not so straightforward as that.
What I can tell you is:
1. I'm writing it.
2.I have no idea if it'll be published.
There was never any plan to publish a third book. One thing I wasn't keen on was a trilogy which had a second book that was all set up. I've come across a lot of trilogies where, as you go through the second book, you really it's all just a long, long build up and nothing's really going to happen except you'll be left with a cliff-hanger. That really annoys me, mainly because I've forgotten what happened by the time the third book comes out. Hence when I wrote Devil's Kiss and Dark Goddess each book (more or less) was designed to stand alone.
The fact is, I love Billi's world. I want to explore more of it.
Basically, it's all down to sales. If Devil's Kiss and Dark Goddess do well, then Billi 3 will come out. If they don't, ah well, let's look at something new.
Not that something so minor's going to stop me. Sometimes, you've just got a story and you have to tell it.
So, what I can tell you is Billi's turned 16 and her birthday is 14th July, Bastille Day. For those of you who've read either book you'll know the SanGreal's have French background and it's family background which will form the basis of the story. Also, the plot centres around one of the ancient Templar Treasures. There were four and we've had The Cursed Mirror and the Holy Grail (oops, butter-fingers, Billi!) but in Book 3 we uncover the real game-changer.
What else? The action will move to the Middle East (this may change, slightly), so a trip out there is on the cards.
The plan is to work out the synopsis and the first 20,000 words, just to see what's developing. I try not to tie the books down too much so synopses aren't really that significant, but it's always handy to have some sort of plan, even if you go on to develop a better one as you write. For example the final drafts of Dark Goddess (and Devil's Kiss) were nothing like their original plans.
A final word? If you insist.
Assassins.

Classic heroes

2010-08-01T09:32:00.006+01:00

I put this picture up because it's Sean Connery, at his most cool (though I suspect he's actually holding an air pistol) and for me he'll be the definative Bond.

However, there's a new version that's been out and about, the Young Bond series, written by Charlie Higson.

They're based on the books rather than the films and take place in the 1930's, when Bond's a boy and just started Eton and living with his aunt, soon after his parents death on a climbing accident.

Then we've got Young Sherlock Holmes by Andrew Lane, which I'm just reading right now, and last week a new tv series started on BBC, called Sherlock, which takes our two interpid heroes (Sherlock and Watson) and imagines what they would be like if they operated in the modern day.

Firstly, the question is WHY?

These are classic heroes who work perfectly as they are. Fleming purposefully kept Bond's background obscure, and I'm sure he had his reasons, the man's enigma is part of his appeal. Ditto Holmes. He's barely sufferable as an adult, as a kid you'd imagine the whole school lining up to slap him one for being such a smart arse.

But, but, but...

Young Bond is brilliant. What appeals to me is Bond's innocence. Granted, I've only read the first few, but he's noble in a way he isn't in the Fleming books, but there are subtle hints to how he'll turn out, a blunt instrument serving the government. There's a modern sensibility in the YB books, especially his attitude towards the female characters (remember as an adult he'd treat them as disposable pleasures) that's a necessary change and reflected in the movies too, where the women stick up for themselves a bit more than they used to (and, of course, I'm all for action heroines!).

I'm only half-way through Young Holmes and the Death Cloud and Holmes is smart, but learning from two unlikely mentors, an American and a street urchin. The principles of deduction are steadily forming as the story progresses and there's a healthy dose of straight action too, plus a suitably macabre mystery. What's interesting is (so far) it's not set in London, Holmes's natural stompim ground, but we'll see how the rest of the story develops. Check out the interview with the author at BookZone.

The new tv series I expected to HATE. But it works. The guy who plays Holmes is perfectly suited, smart and arrogant and excitable, very much like Jeremy Brett, the actor who defined Holmes back in the 1980's and 1990's. What's brilliant is Watson. In the original books he's a Afgan veteran, so is a man of action far more than how he's been protrayed in most Holmes' sagas. I think this is the masterstroke, the appealing Watson. Guy Richie did something very similar in the movie last year (which despite everything else, worked because of the chemistry between Downey and Law).

I suppose what I'm saying is that I approached these stories as a bit of a snob, not wanting to like them. We have the classic originals, but with the right writer and right team, they can be seen afresh, allowing you to fall in love with them in a new way. The fundamental character remains, it's clear the writer loves the template he's working from, and what's done is done with love and passion, with wit and a lot of style and charm.

Wot I have read this year

2010-07-28T09:10:00.004+01:00

We're half-way through the year so I'm going to look back at books I've read and see if there's any trend developing, or not.
So in no particular order:
1. The Winter King, Enemy of God and Excalibur. Bernard Cornwell's take on the Arthur legend. Cornwell is still THE MAN.
2. S**t My Dad Says. Hysterical and strangely moving.
3. Path of the Warrior by Gav Thorpe. Some of you may know I'm into my WH40K and especially eldar (space elves, basically). This is so cool and I wish they'd made it into a trilogy, rather than a very condensed single novel.
4. The new Darren Shan about Crepsley. Managed to get an ARC of this one and Shan's story is very readable BUT it's the beginning of another long series so not a huge amount happens.
5. The Thin Executioner by Shan. Brilliant and a self-contained book. Shan ventures into Middle Eastern fantasy and a story about a boy finding his purpose in life. Which is to chop off heads, or not.
6. Carter Beats the Devil. Fantastic story sent in 1920's America about a stage magician.
7. Demon Covenant and the first Morganville Vampires book. You know what, they're the ONLY YA books I've read this year!
8. Skeleton Key, Furnace, Witchfinder, Curse of the Gloamglozer, Percy Jackson and the Battle of the Labyrinth, PJ and the Last Olympian, Double or Die, Eagle Strike, Warrior Heir, Mortlock. Basically I went through a burst of mid-grade fantasy books to get me in the zone for writing my India book. Very helpful and very confusing. I've an issue re: YA v. mid-grade division and might discuss this later. In a nutshell I think it makes no real sense at all.
9. Build a New Kingdom. Templars, nuff said.
10. Let the Right One In. Now that's a vampire book.
11. The Gladiator by Scarrow. I love historical fiction and Scarrow's Roman series staring Canto and Macro is great fun.
If there is a trend it's defined by ACTION. Nothing too high-brow or literary and certainly no soppy romances in that bundle, is there? Maybe as the evenings draw in I might move into cosy tales of forbidden love and lingering looks and the such, but I doubt it.

The Hood, Part 2 (spoilers if you haven't read Devil's Kiss!)

2010-07-24T01:53:00.001+01:00

“Where’s Johnny?” she asked.
Robin watched Billi sly-like, his dark eyes twinkled in the lamplight. “What says I brought him?”
Billi laughed. “Come on out, Johnny.”
A shadow broke from the corner of Middle Temple Lane. The light caught on a shiny bowler hat and the guy stepped out, his hands tucked deep into his overcoat.
“M-m-miss SanGreal,” he said with a bow. He wiped his round face with a yellow handkerchief and tucked it away in under the hat. He looked like a clown, Big round waist and baggy trousers held up with red and white striped suspenders. The jowls wobbled as he walked and his hair, two tufts either side of his ears, seemed to slid across his face as they formed a pair of archaic mutton-chops. Johnny Little’s face was simple and open, except for the eyes. Small, sharp and darting, something unpleasantly ratty.
“Come in,” said Arthur as he leaned out the upper window. “But guns by the door, alright?”
“I am unarmed, Art,” answered Robin.
“I was talking to fat boy.”
Anyone else would have been collecting their guts off the floor. It amazed Billi, even now, how her dad got away with it.
“Of, of, of course, Mr Arthur.”
Billi took their coats. Robin slid his umbrella into the waste bin beside the door and Johnny unholstered a pair of Berettas hanging from shoulder holsters. He reached around his back and unclipped a shiny Smith and Wesson revolver. Then he lifted up his right trouser leg, he wore suspenders on his socks, and a small antique Derringer came out of the band around his thick chubby calves.
“That it?” asked Billi.
Johnny smiled shyly and took off his bowler. A Glock 26. He peeled off the tape and handed it to her.
“A girl’s gun,” said Robin. “You keep it, Billi.” He sighed. “Lord knows you should update your training. How many times have I told you father? All these swords and axes, it’s all very traditional, to be sure, but where’s the efficiency?”
“Swords don’t jam.” But it was more than that. Guns attracted a lot of unwanted attention. They were noisy and left a lot of clues. You brought a sword, you left with a sword. No shell casings lying around. No smell of cordite. No bullet holes in the wrong places, or the wrong people. You couldn’t fight the Bataille Tenebreuse with guns.
The three men settled around the dining table while Billi put on the kettle. Billi was more than aware how they were arranged. Arthur let Robin sit at the head, with Johnny opposite him. Johnny was going to regret that.
“Any Redbush?” asked Robin. “I’m trying to cut down on my caffeine.”
“Getting the jitters?” asked Arthur.
“My life is exciting enough, Art.”
Billi leaned against the worktop, watching the silence.
Robin, ganglord of Nottingham, rarely came south. But he still knew everyone and everything of interest in London. Johnny and Robin’s cousin, Much, kept tabs on the underground activities of the capital. A lot of people made the mistake of taking Johnny’s stutter as slowness. But his guns spoke like heavenly choirs.
Robin drummed his well-manicured fingers on the plastic table covering. “I see you’ve done up the place. You know, I do have a beautiful set of Chippendale tables and chairs I could have –”
“Not interested.”
Robin looked over at Billi, shaking his head. “There’s a truck not far from here that ... strayed en-route to Stella’s on King’s Road. Billi, why don’t you go with Johnny and have a look, while I talk to your father?”
“Billi will stay and listen,” replied her dad.
“Money, Arthur. Where is it?” snapped Robin.
“What money?”
Robin leaned forward, the humour gone. “Don’t be facetious, Art. You are much in arrears. I’ve let it go for old times’ sake, but I have my reputation to think of.”
“We had a deal, Robin. Payment for information.” Art didn’t move, but his voice fell flat. Not good. Billi glanced at Robin but he didn’t pick up the change in tone. Maybe he’d been out of London too long. “You didn’t deliver, Robin. And I lost good men.”
“That was unfortunate.”
Billi stiffened and her fingers tightened on the wood. Unfortunate. Kay’s death was unfortunate. Somehow her hand found the heavy ceramic jug. She forced herself to put it back down.
“No more until you demonstrate you’re value for money.” Arthur laughed. “Anyway, isn’t robbing city boys keeping you green? Or is the market’s flooded with stolen Rolexes?”
“It’s the credit crunch, Art. The city boys have taken to wearing Hong Kong knock-offs. It’s a sad day when you can’t trust a banker.” He looked cautiously at Arthur. The gap between then was about a metre. It wasn’t a wide table. “I appreciate that I was late in delivering, but you know that isn’t how it works. You owe me.”
“I beg to differ.”
“That’s a shame. A terrible shame.” Robin lifted his hands. “I’d hate to think what might happen if I lifted my guardianship. The dangers lurking out there, you know all too well. But without my eyes keeping look-out? Well, I don’t fear for you, Art. But Billi.” He held out a hand. “Poor Billi has lost so much already.”
Arthur smashed the stool across Johnny’s forehead. Robin leapt up, knife springing to his hand but Billi buried her boot in his guts. Her knee followed through into his nose and she swung the jug across his temple. Robin dropped, gasping. Arthur whacked Johnny again, to be sure.
“Never threaten me and mine. Ever,” he whispered. He leaned down and lifted Robin up by his hair. “London is my city. It always has been, always will be.” He wiped Robin’s face with his hand, making sure the man saw his clearly. “You’re not a fool, Robin. You’re a business-man. Think what it will cost you to drag this out. We fight to the finish, remember that. To the finish.”
He straightened up and pointed to the door.
“You’re dripping all over the new vinyl. Get out.”
THE END