Writing Workshops by the Chainsaw Gang

Starting this Sat and running over the next two weekends the Chainsaw Gang will be running a variety of workshops at the Richmond Literary Festival.
In fact, the Chainsaw will be totally OWNING the kids' events!
It'll be the three Alexs (Milway, Bell and Gordon Smith) and myself and we'll be delving DEEP, WAY WAY DEEP, into the art of writing and drawing. We're at the Orleans House Gallery on Sat 6th, Sun 7th, Sat 13th and Sun 14th.
So we'll be discussing plotting, character creation and story arcs, making sure your stories kick butt very hard and talking about those little secret skills you might need to break into publishing. Alex Milway will be giving all you artists out there the chance to create your perfect monster.
My Gosh, if I'd known then what I know now I could have saved myself years of faffing about and trawling through the Artist's and Writer's Yearbook (useful as it is, it is not everything).
I'll be specifically looking at classical story structure, characterization and how to build character arcs in three easy steps. Plus there'll be my usual Templar roleplay extravaganza! The sessions are about 2 hours long so there'll be plenty of time to discuss a range of writing topics. Likewise if you've got any burning questions on the day, I'll do my very best to answer them. The events are ticketed, so do go over to the website and book your place now. I'm on the Sunday gig at 11.30am (right after church!)
So, as of next Sat 6th, the Chansaw will be cutting up Richmond something quite wicked.

What is bad is good

As you know (or should know) I am not a fan of paranormal romance so, hey what's with a picture with a dreamy blonde girl with angel wings?
Have I fallen to the dark side?
What next, posters of a shirtless Taylor Lautner in the study? Modelling my few hairs into a RPatz quiff?
Ah, that'll be a no.
Firstly, it would take the genius of Vidal Sassoon to do anything with my few follicles beyond the No.1 cut.
Plus there's no room on my wall for semi-naked shots of Taylor. They're covered with semi-naked posters of Christain Bale (yes, despite his many moments of madness I stay true. I'm here, Christian! I'll never desert you!).
Ehem. Sorry, needed to get that fanboy rant off my chest.
Gosh, where was I? Ah, Angel by L.A Weatherly. But I'll call her Lee, because that's her name.
Anyway, Lee's a big hero of mine.
Lee teaches writing and she taught me. Now that may or may not be a good thing, depending on which side of the 'Sarwat should go back to engineering and give up this writing lark' fence you may be resting your tush on, but that's a debate for another day.
I'm only half-way through Angel and my romance nerves a holding firm, so far we've had a few sidelong glances and a few references to the gorgeous cheekbones of Alex and the petite perfection of Willow BUT we've also had CIA conspiracies, assassinations, brain-washing and religious cults.
Hell, yes!
These are the things that make children's literature so great, don't you agree?
But the theme of Angel is the bliss of the bad. Lee's angels are parasites that feed off human auras, but appear as glowing, beautiful beings and leave the victim in a state of euphoria, convinced that the angel has done them good. Instead they are drained, weakened, tainted by the attack. Over time the victim will grow sick and die, never realising it was the angel that started it all. That moment of bliss was the beginning of the end.
Because Lee's a proper writer, what appeals to me far more than Willow's blonde locks and Alex's cheekbones is her theme; how we are addicted to things that do us harm. Government warning signs, medical research, our basic instinct, even a glance in the mirror (where did that gut come from? Well, it was a steady diet of burgers and chips all washed down with jumbo Cokes that did it for me) but we do not stop. We embrace the things that destroy us.
Wow, it makes you wonder how we've made it as a species, doesn't it?
It can't be advertising, half the cigarrette packets are covered with SMOKING KILLS, really, it couldn't be clearer, could it?
Mind you, one look at Don Draper with a fag and I want to like up.
Lee will be at the Foyles Demons v Angels event on Sunday, I'm going to ask her what it's all about (and see if I can blag an advanced copy of Book 2)
Check out her book. Then wonder, what's the angel in your life?

Halloween Week

It all kicks off tomorrow. A week of werewolves, ghouls, witches, zombies, creepy-crawlies and all those things that go bump in the night.

Tomorrow is the Crystal Palace Children's Book Festival and I'll be at the library from 2.15pm till 4pm with half the Chainsaw Gang for what will be our FIRST EVER event. If you're in the neighbourhood, it would be great to see you.

Monday 25th is Chester for their GobbledeeBook festival. Th
ere'll be a few silly props so you can act out your Templar dreams as well as discussions about all the fun things we writers do. Which is sit in a cold, dark, damp room and write, day in, day out. Actually, it doesn't sound so much fun after all. Maybe I'll talk about something else instead.
Friday 29th is up to Norwich Forum for another round of arguing, I mean intelligent discussion, with Will Hussey, Sam Enthoven and Alex G Smith and my sweet self. More demons that you could shake a crucifix at.

Sunday 31st, Halloween itself, we'll be at Foyles, Charing Cross Road, for their Demons vs. Angels event. There will be spooky treats for all. Me, Will Hussey, Sam Enthoven, Cliff McNish and L.A Weatherly will be debating who's the ultimate, hard-core bagger and tagger in the supernatural world.

Angels. Demons.

None of that 'I'm just a bit misunderstood' vampire or 'having a bad day on those full moon nights' werewolf issues but the real wrath of God and Revelations hell-fire stuff. In the end, they will be the last word.

It's all on my website.

So, if you're around any of these places, stick your head in and say hello!

Chester next Monday 25th October

Next Monday the Dark Goddess will be at Chester's Children's Book Festival, cleverly titled GobbledeBook!
The events run all week long from 23rd to the 31st October but I'll be there on Monday 25th, so do come along for a chat and two hours of entertainment and wisdom. Well, at least entertainment.
I'm at the St. Mary's Centre from 2.30pm and 4.30pm.
There'll be readings, hints on how to get into publishing, a few pointers on what to watch out for if you're planning to write your own epic and a chance to get intouch with your own inner Knight Templar with a big roleplay session, so bring your sword and shield! If you don't, worry not. I have a few to spare.
There'll be a bundle of books for sale and a signing at the end of it.
What more could you possibly want?
Now, because this is your chance to ask away anything you want, do drop in a comment here and now. This is as much about what you want as it's about me, just chatting.
This is our festival, yours and mine.
What do you want out of it?