Feel I'm CRAWLING through Book 2. Once I could turn out 1,000 words, no problem. 700 of them may have been crap, but there was a sense of movement. Now 500 words per day are a struggle, bizzare since I'm now actually free to spend my days doing it. I thought I'd be doing 2,000 easily.
What's going on?
There's an interesting phenomena called homeostatis, which is about maintaining equilibrium of a system.
So, I'm upsetting the system that is ME. That's the day job, the usual grind, the urgency to write and use it to break the monotony. It's burgers for lunch, its fighting for a seat, its the daydreaming in the office and the scribbling on notes at meetings and ALL THAT CRAP. But it's what makes me, well, me.
Take all that away, even in a good way, and the system thinks WTF? It doesn't get the change, and there's a lot of resistance.
Basically what I'm saying is that it's hard going, even when it's all going your way. Strange, but true.
It's also that this is my first book where I've been paid for before I've written it. There's an expectation (and hope) that this will BLOW PEOPLE AWAY, that's what I'm aiming for anyway. Maybe having seen the height of the mountain I've suddenly got the willies, forgetting that you climb it one step and one word at a time.
I am very aware that actually (maybe) I've had a few big breaks very quickly, and maybe this is part of the 'not having earned it' with years and years of slogging. Can't be sure. There is no sitting pretty, not with the agents, not with the publishers, not with the front covers.
Maybe I've finally realised this profession is not the easy option.